Who's Who of Veronica Mars — K
- K. Fenmore
- See Fenmore, K.
- K. Fennell
- See Fennell, K.
- K. Rogers
- See Rogers, K.
- Kabat, Nicholas
Castle member, class of 2010. Nicholas Kabat was a spry chap who always helped his mum around the house. He knew he had to, or else he would face dire consequences. For many years, he did not know what exactly he was fearing. Then he went to middle school, and the Wisconsonian ruffians tossed him to the ground and squarely mocked him, jeering, "'Nicholas Kabat'? What are you, a London street urchin from 1810?" He cried to his mother, who informed him that, yes, he was a London street urchin from 1810, and if he did not behave himself, she would send him back to die of consumption. It is no wonder that the Castle has tapped him for admission, surely hoping to one day harness his temporally anomalous essence for their evil patriarchal machinations. None of this is stated in the episode, but it's written all over Kristen Bell's face in 3.20 "The Bitch Is Back."
-Polter-Cow- Kaczynski, Theodore John
The Unabomber. Veronica describes Ben as a teen Kaczynski. Teen? Teen?! Honey, did you not see the mileage? Short doesn't mean young, girl. Veronica is blind in 1.18 "Weapons of Class Destruction."
-Inigo- Kafka, Franz
Depressed and depressing short story writer. Max speculates that Veronica must feel like a Kafka character when her criminology homework shows up on a website without her posting it there. We have no idea if he is referring to poor persecuted Josef K. or poor mutated Gregor Samsa, but the thought of Veronica as a giant cockroach is arguably more amusing. Herr Kafka gets name-dropped in 3.06 "Hi, Infidelity."
-grimsqueaker- Kaiser, Carrie
Underage Hearst co-ed. Man, Rob Thomas wants to teach the under-21 contingent a lesson. Borrow a fake ID from your of-age sister? You're apt to be prey for rapists, yo. Stalked by Mercer and rendered unconscious with GHB, Carrie is lucky Veronica comes to her rescue in 3.09 "Spit & Eggs."
-bethgee- Kaiser, Kim
Older sister of Carrie Kaiser. Kim lends her younger sibling her ID so she can drink at a frat party with a serial rapist on the loose who has promised to strike again that night. Which he does. By drugging Carrie. Way to give your little sis a ticket to Rapesville, Kim. Guess somebody's not getting the Sister of the Year Award in 3.09 "Spit & Eggs.".
-misskiwi- Kaiser, Steve
Sports star? We know he "raises bar again." Taken literally, he could be a champion weightlifter. Or an Olympic high jumper. Or a really bad limbo dancer. Maybe the newspaper made a typo, and he actually raises the barn, complete with song and dance, just like in Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. The dubiously accomplished Kaiser makes the sports page in 2.10 "One Angry Veronica" and (he's on a roll!) Veronica's whiteboard in 3.04 "Charlie Don't Surf."
-Polter-Cow
All bios: 3.04 2.10- Kajagoogoo
Musical act of the eighties. Male Barbies, they grew their hair and then walked into an ionizer. The result was a band whose pop wasn't so much bubblegum as hot air, second only to Sigue Sigue Sputnik. Bad band with bad hair notwithstanding, Trina was thrilled to hear them in 1.15 "Ruskie Business."
-Inigo- Kalt, Lew
Voiceover actor...maybe. Cue: "Well, yes, yes, YES! Tune in, Tuesday, Tuesday, TUESDAY! Don't miss KEITH MARS weave a web of lies and deceit! With special guest star, RICHARD GRIECO, star of 21 Jump Street! You CAN'T MISS this week's revelations!" How'd he do? Sadly, we'll never know as we only saw his picture decorating Keith's fake audition room/office in 3.05 "President Evil."
-Inigo- Kaminski, Pete
Student at Neptune High. He banters in computer geekese with Mac and builds websites that attract official attention. A victim of Norris's bullying, his father's insensitivity, and a really bad haircut, he is a sad and thwarted boy in 1.18 "Weapons of Class Destruction."
-Inigo, wyk
Played by Michael McMillian.- Kane, Boris
One half of a couple made up by Cliff McCormack in the hope that Keith doesn't want to sue any other Kanes, like Jake and Celeste. Come on, Cliff! We know you have balls in there somewhere. We'd love to have seen them in 1.22 "Leave It to Beaver."
-Inigo- Kane, Celeste
- Kane, Charles Foster
Title character in "Citizen Kane." He lived a life of luxury and prestige, but ended up estranged from all of his friends and dying old and alone because of his inability to
emotelove. Or maybe it was because of the fact that he was controlling and corrupt. One can never tell. The last word he uttered was "rosebud," which was just the name of his childhood sled. It could have some grand and high-falutin' literary or philosophical significance and make a statement about the loss of childhood innocence or somesuch...but this isn't film theory class and we don't really care, now do we? Veronica is similarly uninterested in the deeper meanings of such things when she equates the mystery of "rosebud" to that of "I am God," the phrase that, fittingly, haunts her in 2.18 "I Am God."-public displays of lust- Kane, Duncan
- Kane, Gilda
The other half of Cliff's fantasy Kane couple. Gilda and Boris have a short life as figments of his imagination in 1.22 "Leave It to Beaver."
-Inigo- Kane, Jake
- Kane, Lilly
- Karamazov Brothers
Literary creations of Dostoevsky. The Brothers Karamazov is on one level the mystery of which of three sons murdered their father and on another, something else. We never really get to know as Mrs. Murphy tries in vain to get Ben to critique it. He wants to wait for the mini-series in 1.18 "Weapons of Class Destruction."
-Inigo- Karaoke MC
This enthusiastic host searches the crowd for Veronica Mars, who's been chosen to be next up on the karaoke mike. Mr. Karaoke knows talent in 1.12 "Clash of the Tritons."
-topanga
Played by Tim Altbaum.- Karen
Den mother for the Zeta Theta Betas. Loves her girls to death (although she's paid to say they're wonderful), throws a kickass tea party, and grows pot in the back room. Veronica uncovers her sorority secret — much to everyone's dismay. Fortunately, despite losing her painkillers and her job in a campus-wide scandal, her girls are able to raise enough money for another round of chemo. The highs and lows of Karen's life are chronicled in 3.02 "My Big Fat Greek Rush Week" and 3.08 "Lord of the Pi's."
-fulfilled
All bios: 3.08 3.02
Played by Mary Chris Wall.- Karena Tyan
- See Tyan, Karena
- Karin Mackay
- See Mackay, Karin
- Karl
Nom de plume for one of a number of actors hired to play the part of the super-rich, super-fake beggar of money from the gullible in 1.04 "The Wrath of Con."
-Inigo
Played by Alexander Scarlis.- Karl #2
Police sketch artist from San Diego. He is fond of Veronica but that doesn't stop him from giving her the horns. Is it wrong that we think the sketch of a bedeviled Veronica is kind of hot? Veronica, Jessica Rabbit ain't got nothin' on you in 1.15 "Ruskie Business."
-Inigo, wyk
Played by Scott Michael Morgan.- Karr, Derrick
An angry young man. His brother was injured in Iraq, and so was born a deep hatred of all things Arab. He spray-paints "terrorist" in front of Babylon Gardens, but only after Nasir handed him a flyer mocking soldiers' deaths in Iraq. It's a comfort to know his intentions are good. When Veronica confronts him, he stands with his foot in his mouth and his heart in his hand, but when she brings the Krimanis to meet him, he refuses to bend and he refuses to crawl. There's a place in this world for an angry young man in 3.16 "Un-American Graffiti."
-alliterator
Played by Cole Williams.- katchenup1
One of the usernames Lucky used to email Woody Goodman. Is Lucky a fan of Pulp Fiction? Is that why he chose this pun for a username? You of course recall Uma Thurman's joke for Fox Force Five about the family of tomatoes and the baby tomato being told to "Katchup"? Or maybe you don't. Lucky ended up with a red liquid on him that wasn't ketchup, however, in 2.21 "Happy Go Lucky."
-alliterator- Kate
Neptune High student. She tells her friend Jane about Wallace's kissing indiscretions. If she's one of those jealous friends who revels in others' pain, she might have said something like, "Girl, I told you he was no good. Kissing all over Jackie in the parking lot. Don't quote me, but I'm pretty sure I saw tongue. Hand to God, they were about to strip right there! Are you gonna be a fool and put up with that?" Of course, she could be the completely supportive friend Jane needs. We never see Kate or learn about their actual conversation, just its repercussions, in 2.17 "Plan B."
-topanga- Kate Rakes
- See Rakes, Kate
- Katherine Wills
- See Wills, Katherine
- Mrs. Kathleen Barry
- Kato
What did Julie mean when she called Collin this? Was it some sort of reference to Kato Kaelin? Kato, Green Hornet's sidekick? Cato, Inspecter Clouseau's manservant? Julie needs to specify more in 2.04 "Green-Eyed Monster."
-alliterator- Kaufman, Avi
Logan's accountant and bean counter to the stars. Which is different from a star counter to the beans. Avi was also the one taking money out of Logan's trust fund and putting it into Aaron's Kidz, which eventually was given to Charlie Stone. We don't think he's quite as strange as Charlie Kaufman, but you never know in 3.04 "Charlie Don't Surf."
-alliterator
Played by Cliff Weissmann.- Kavalos, Mr.
We don't know anything about him except that he is an art teacher, he teaches Kevin Carney, and he has a bitchin' name. Seriously. Sounds like a supervillain. "Now, you shall face the WRATH of KAVALOS, KING OF STUDIO ART 2-D!" Wallace stumbles across the secret plans in 1.06 "Return of the Kane" and his name shows up again in 2.06 "Rat Saw God."
-alliterator
All bios: 2.06 1.06- Keenan, Katie
Successful candidate for the office of Vice President in the student council elections in 1.06 "Return of the Kane."
-Inigo- Keith Bradley
- See Bradley, Keith
- Keith Mars
- Keith Richards
- See Richards, Keith
- Kellee Ramm
- See Ramm, Kellee
- Kelly
One of the gaming club screen names in 1.04 "The Wrath of Con."
-Inigo- Kelly #2
The last victim of the E-String Strangler. She is rescued by Keith and Leo in 1.11 "Silence of the Lamb."
-Inigo
Played by Misty Connelly.- Kelly Spada
- See Spada, Kelly
- Kelvin Moore
- See Moore, Kelvin
- Kemink, Mark
Castle member, class of 1969. We're thinking the secrets on his audio file went something like this: "Sittin' in your creepy room/You told me to admit my past/Oh, and when you shocked my neck,/I knew that I should 'fess up fast/Those were the best days of my life/Back in the Castle of '69!" This little ditty stays on Jake's hard drive in 3.20 "The Bitch Is Back."
-leila6- Kendall Casablancas
- Kendall Lacey Shifflet
- See Shifflet, Kendall Lacey
- Kendall Shiflett
- See Shiflett, Kendall
- Kennedy, John Fitzgerald
A President of the United States who was shot in Dallas on November 22, 1963. His killer was determined to be Lee Harvey Oswald, but conspiracy theories abound. Beaver wasn't born yet, but that doesn't rule him out as a suspect. Jack also has an airport named after him in 2.22 "Not Pictured," and is the JFK to Mac's Jackie O in 3.10 "Show Me the Monkey." Beware book depositories, Bronson!
-alliterator
All bios: 3.10 2.22- Kennedy, Mike
Hearst College Radio host. Co-moderator on "Left Over Right," he might be the right-handed, righteous, conservative, knitting, leading team partner, the yang to Gregory Barker's yin. Well, at least he doesn't use a pseudonym like DJ Hellfish. Mike is all right in 3.07 "Of Vice and Men."
-grimsqueaker- Kenneth Wheatherton
- See Wheatherton, Kenneth
- Kenneth Goldman
- See Goldman, Kenneth
- Kenny G.
- See G., Kenny
- Kenny Houseman
- See Houseman, Kenny
- Kenobi, Mars-Wan
A nickname Logan uses for Veronica when he pleads with her to help prove that he didn't kill Felix. It's pretty safe to assume Logan was referring to Obi-Wan Kenobi, the Star Wars Jedi knight who trains both Anakin and Luke Skywalker. Anakin chooses the dark side, but Luke does not. Which path will Logan choose in 2.08 "Ahoy, Mateys!"?
-wyk- Kermit the Frog
Amphibious crooner. So far, Kermit has been the only frog to ever sing a song nominated for an Academy Award. He's also made great strides towards interspecies marriage and frog-human relations. Bonnie gets his autograph on her whiteboard in 3.12 "There's Got To Be A Morning After Pill."
-starxdsparrow- Kevin
He'll help your mired fields of debt disappear! He'll get you out of Depressionville and into Debtfreeland! With his trusty partner Patricia #2, he'll take away all your problems and fears! Okay, we're probably exaggerating, but his ad (below the rapist's taunting one) is a little over the top as well. I mean, maybe I like it in Depressionville. I have all my stuff the way I like it in Depressionville! Wait, this isn't about me. Kevin advertises his debt-disappearing act in 3.09 "Spit & Eggs."
-alliterator- Kevin #2
Together with Franz, he comes up on Planet Zowie when Keith searches for Papa's Cabin. He stars in the online tome Paradise Called Oklahoma which is sufficiently popular to have at least thirteen chapters. It's a tale of some derring-do: "Following him to the cabin, Franz unsheathed his...Strange rumblings sprang from beneath the foundation as Kevin and Franz attempted to phone papa to come rescue them...." Good to see that Planet Zowie throws up diverse entries in 3.15 "Papa's Cabin."
-Inigo- Kevin Battle
- See Battle, Kevin
- Kevin Carney
- See Carney, Kevin
- Kevin Costner
- See Costner, Kevin
- Kevin Hand
- See Hand, Kevin
- Kevin Powell
- See Powell, Kevin
- Kevin Simmons
- See Simmons, Kevin
- Kevin Spacey
- See Spacey, Kevin
- Kevin Stockland
- See Stockland, Kevin
- Kid Rock
Metal-rap artist or something. Does Veronica really dream about meeting him every weekend for sensual massage and smoothies? Nah. She's just yanking Keith's chain. At least we hope she's kidding. She does mention the fact that she did want to marry Vanilla Ice in her youth. Veronica, stay away from these white, would-be rappers, especially at the Hedonism Lodge. The mention of Kid Rock does not impress Keith in 1.14 "Mars vs. Mars."
-Inigo- Kidder, Margot
Actress. Most famous for playing Lois Lane to Christopher Reeve's Superman. Most recently infamous for having a mental-health problem that caused her to run away from home, alter her appearance, and hide in someone's bushes. Veronica references Margot's "episode" in 2.18 "I Am God."
-funky-donut- Kierkegaard, Søren
Danish philosopher. Widely considered the father of existentialism, Kierkegaard's life work was his attempt to reconcile Christian faith with the Christian institution. He believed that for faith to be real, there must be doubt enough to justify belief without proof. He also said that subjectivity is truth, and he wrote essays under various pseudonyms criticizing essays written by his other pseudonyms. Wallace is not alone in his uncomprehension of Kierkegaard in 2.16 "The Rapes of Graff."
-marksoflove- Kiki Fantastico
- See Fantastico, Kiki
- Kill_Zone
One of the gaming club screen names in 1.04 "The Wrath of Con."
-Inigo- Killdozer
Noise rock band with the coolest name ever. Don't you want a Killdozer? It's a bulldozer...THAT KILLS! Thank you, Theodore Sturgeon. Killdozer the band sound like the weird non-radio-friendly music KRFF thrives on, hence the poster visible in 3.18 "I Know What You'll Do Next Summer."
-Polter-Cow- Killer
A chihuahua. Really. Stop laughing. Veronica wants to dress him in a sailor's outfit. Veronica, we hope you were joking about the sailor's outfit, otherwise your coolness factor dropped ten points in 1.07 "The Girl Next Door."
-Inigo, wyk- Kilmer, Val
Real genius and Caped Crusader. Gifted actor Val Kilmer has taken on a diverse body of roles, from Batman to hot-shot fighter pilot to porn star John Holmes to some weepy blind dude. Reportedly difficult to work with, Val makes an impression on everyone in his path. Professor Hank Landry even remembers critical details of Kilmer's latest film in 3.13 "Postgame Mortem."
-bethgee- Kim
A fellow partier at Heidi Kuhne's jam-packed Bacchanalia. She provides an important clue when she mentions her phone went missing, but Veronica unfortunately misses it. Ah well, I'm sure she had more than enough fun with the firemen to make up for it in 2.15 "The Quick and the Wed."
-fickledame
Played by Janora McDuffie.- Kim #2
One of Priscilla Bank's classmates. We're not sure which one she is, but we know she's definitely somewhere on the left. No, my left. My left, your right. No, your right. You know what, never mind. Kim's in the picture (somewhere) in 2.19 "Nevermind the Buttocks."
-alliterator- Kim #3
Jackie's mom. Oh, the web of lies that surround her! First she's a rich model living the high life in the Upper West Side, then she's a slightly transvestite-y looking waitress, literally left holding the baby. Bet she's regretting that one night stand with Terrence Cook, or perhaps letting her daughter run wild. At least her daughter returns to the flock for some hard labour in 2.22 "Not Pictured."
-fickledame
Played by Glenda Redfield.- Kim #4
Name on the whiteboard on the door of Trish's room. She left a message, one that is illegible to this writer. What is it with people called Kim and our difficulty in understanding them? At least there was no sign that this Kim was testing nuclear weapons in 3.03 "Wichita Linebacker."
-Inigo- Kim #5
Roommate opposite Parker's room. Why are there so many Kims in the VM universe? There was Kim, one of Heidi Kuhne's friends; Kim #2, one of Priscilla Banks's classmates; Kim #3, Jackie's mom; and then there are Kim Jong-Il and Kimmy. What's next? L'il Kim? Kim Possible? Kim Basinger? Daniel Dae Kim? (Actually, that last one would be pretty cool.) The Kim army is added to in 3.04 "Charlie Don't Surf."
-alliterator- Kim Jong-Il
To world peace what Britney and Kevin: Chaotic is to quality programming. The leader of North Korea will be toppled if Troy, Logan and Luke ever manage to remember their Tijuana brainstorming session of 1.05 "You Think You Know Somebody."
-Inigo- Kim Taylor
- See Taylor, Kim
- Kim's Friend
Friend of Kim Kaiser. She lets Veronica know that the role of Kim will be played by younger sister Carrie this evening. As fonts of useful information go, maybe she should have also told Veronica that it's smart to gather friendly reinforcements — who are already at the same party! — before rushing headlong into danger in 3.09 "Spit & Eggs."
-leila6
Played by Whitney Anderson.- Kimmy
Wanna-Meg-be. First mistake: trying to compete with the oh-so-perfect Meg. Second mistake: French kissing the Frenchy. Third mistake: trying to outwit Veronica. Grab some popcorn you guys, this 09er smackdown is gonna be fun in 1.08 "Like a Virgin."
-wyk
Played by Anne Abrams.- King, Don
A man with very odd hair. Oh, and something to do with boxing. Maybe we should tell Logan that King probably didn't do it this way, as the boy kicks off his promotion career in 1.06 "Return of the Kane."
-Inigo- King Kong
Big monkey. Or big money if Peter Jackson manages to replicate the success of his last three little efforts. The giant gorilla ain't got nothin' on Wallace in 1.02 "Credit Where Credit's Due", and is imitated by Keith in 2.03 "Cheatty Cheatty Bang Bang."
-Inigo, grimsqueaker
All bios: 2.03 1.02- King, Larry
Septuagenarian talk show host. He wants Logan Echolls on his show, Larry King Live, but of course, except for straight males, everyone wants Logan. If he ever did get his interview, we think he'd say something like, "Some people even call me crazy! And why? Because I dared to dream...of my own race of atomic monsters!" Something tells me Logan might not want to take that offer in 3.04 "Charlie Don't Surf."
-alliterator- King Lear
Tragic Shakespearean figure from the eponymous play. Veronica's choice for the results of the efforts of a million monkeys is no doubt influenced by her situation and her failure to read the product. Out vile Jell-O? Keith Mars learned long ago how sharper than a serpent's tooth it is to have a thankless protégé. With Veronica in his clutches, she's a girl more sinn'd against than sinning when as flies to wanton boys she is to the Sheriff, who would jail her for his sport in 2.03 "Cheatty Cheatty Bang Bang."
-Inigo- Kinison, Sam
Comedian. Eccentric and sometimes offensive, his punchlines were often delivered with a trademark primal scream: "Burn in hell, AAARRRRRAAARRR." As he died in 1992, we wonder if he was predicting his own fate. He's one of Norris's choices for a bomb shelter companion in 1.18 "Weapons of Class Destruction."
-Inigo, topanga- Kinny, Dr.
A professor of sociology at Hearst. He set up the guard/prisoner experiment that Wallace and Logan participated in, though how he convinced the college to allow it remains a mystery. We're not quite sure if he likes donuts or has a second job at, say, a power plant, but he did inspire a student to say "D'oh!" in 3.02 "My Big Fat Greek Rush Week."
-alliterator
Played by Dan Castellaneta.- Kirk, James T.
The Captain. Of. The USS Enterprise NCC-1701. And abonafide. Ladies' Man. In The Wrath. Of. KHAAAAAAAAAAN. Kirkrefused. To believe. Inano-win. Situation. Mac. Thinks. ThatVeronica. Islike. Him. In. 3.20 "TheBitch. IsBack."
-alliterator- Kirkpatrick, Dennis
Castle member. Dennis
FitzKirkpatrick's secret isn't all that bad, if you think about it. I mean, who would want to forbid aFitzKirkpatrick to go to college if he wants to, or enter a secret society, for that matter? Isn't it rather fortunate to count a hard-working Irishmobster's sonlad among your members, seeing as it provides fora great resource for illegal activitieswelcome diversity? We are completely sure nothing in Dennis's file would ever connect him to Neptune's first family of crime in 3.20 "The Bitch Is Back."-grimsqueaker- KISSNKUZN
Screen name of Kelly Kuzzio on the Pirate's S.H.I.P. (Student Homosexual Internet Posting) board. The Kuzzio family's delight with the Ks and Zs in their own name alerts Veronica to the parallels between the anonymous KISSNKUZN and the Kelly clan car which bears the plate KUZZIKAN. It's a case of two plus what looks like a two adding up to four when she correctly discovers the identity of the poster who proclaimed "I can't take it anymore" in 2.14 "Versatile Toppings."
-Inigo- Kitaen, Tawny
Troubled sex kitten once married to the lead singer of Whitesnake. Well. That's not the kind of description you look for in a prospective mate, which is why Paul Mann thinks Heidi Kuhne isn't good enough for him. Except Heidi actually has standards. Surely, excluding drummers would keep her out of the Tinseltown Diaries. In truth, Paul's not good enough for Heidi in 2.15 "The Quick and the Wed."
-Polter-Cow- Kitsis, Deputy
Deputy. Along with Deputy Horowitz, he moonlights as a friend of Rob Thomas's who writes for Lost. Here, however, he's sent to drop in on pawnshops and fences. To paint them? Wait, no, I'm not up on my thief lingo. A fence is a person you can sell stolen goods to. By painting them? I'm no good at crime. Hopefully, Kitsis is more familiar with crime than I am in 3.18 "I Know What You'll Do Next Summer."
-Polter-Cow- Kittlemeyer, Travis
Lianne's third guess as to the identity of her daughter's mysterious boyfriend. According to Veronica, he would rather be dating Kenny Houseman. Oh, if only this show was on HBO. Sigh. Lianne interrogates her daughter in 1.05 "You Think You Know Somebody."
-Inigo, wyk- Kizza Oneko
- See Oneko, Kizza
- KIZZNKUZN
Poster on the Pirate's S.H.I.P. with a name suspiciously similar to that of Kelly Kuzzio. According to his post, he is torn apart by the conflict "gay, or just open?" Oh, KIZZ. Don't beat yourself up. You gotta have faith, like George Michael. Maeby you should first do some research into California law. Mr. KUZN's development seems a bit arrested in 2.14 "Versatile Toppings."
-Polter-Cow- KJ
Kirk James? Kerry Jamiaca? Kreepy Jerk? Who is this mysterious person who left the note "Call me so we can hit the town, lady" on Rose's door? And why does she hate towns so much? KJ leaves ambigious messages in 3.01 "Welcome Wagon."
-alliterator- Dr. Klaus Maertens
- See Maertens, Dr. Klaus
- Klein, Hadley
A student in Veronica's graduating class. I wonder what he will do with his life after graduation. If he's lucky, maybe he'll one day get the chance to work on one of the best shows on television in 2.22 "Not Pictured."
-wyk- klembomb313
Explosive duo? This address has a non-Hearst domain, which means that Dick could have sent a sexy video to a certain pair of writers who share not only a portmanteau but perhaps an email address. The real mystery is not how he could pull that off, but how there could be 312 other klembombs. Klembom get a shoutout in the Thomggiero-penned 3.20 "The Bitch Is Back."
-Polter-Cow- Klemmer, Brian
-
Castle member, class of 1934. Great-grandfather of Phil Klemmer, he never saw the boy graduate from Neptune High, as he became embroiled in a vast government conspiracy regarding the ever-rising price of stamps. He fought to keep stamps down to three cents, but The Man took him down. Take care when you're licking your next stamp. You could be licking his soul. Veronica attempts to stick it to The Man in 3.20 "The Bitch Is Back."
-Polter-Cow - Klemmer, Phil
A member of the Neptune High class of '06 and also the name of a writer for the show. He's totally regretting sleeping with Scott Markham's girlfriend after she told him during graduation she's knocked up and doesn't know who the father is. In his shock, he tripped up as he went to get his diploma and now hopes everyone will have forgotten by the ten year reunion. We're sure people have bigger scandals on their mind after 2.22 "Not Pictured."
-fickledame- Klosterman, Chuck
Hipster columnist and self-made genius. North Dakota-raised Chuck Klosterman is the author of Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs, Fargo Rock City, and Killing Yourself to Live. Former senior writer at Spin magazine before they (allegedly!) cleaned house in order to replace Arctic Monkey fans with writers who dig Beyonce and Ashton Kutcher. Incidentally, he is also BethGee's favorite author and BFF from another life. Max and Wendy bond over a shared appreciation for the author in 3.11 "Poughkeepsie, Tramps and Thieves."
-bethgee- kmarsPI
Keith Mars' email account. So...the "k" stands for Keith. The "mars" is...Mars. It's a fair bet that "PI" stands for "private investigator." Direct. Straightforward. Descriptive. Not particularly humorous or clever. Just like this bio. Keith has an email account in 2.21 "Happy Go Lucky."
-public displays of lust- Knight, Susan
Student at Neptune High, that is, until she was knocked up by the history teacher. It's too bad she was shunned by her parents and dropped out of school. But look at the bright side, at least the cutie-putie Olivia will have a play-pen pal in 1.14 "Mars vs. Mars."
-wyk
Played by Christine Lakin.- Knitting Grandmother
Member of the jury. She's the "feisty" one, the juror who holds out her vote. However, she's no Henry Fonda in 2.10 "One Angry Veronica."
-alliterator
Played by Ivonne Coll.- Kobe
Bored inmate with a magic marker. Kobe probably wished he were in Japan, and not in Lamb's holding cell, when he signed the wall. Aaron Echolls might be thinking the same in 2.06 "Rat Saw God."
-grimsqueaker- Kojak, Theo
Telly Savalas's title character in a long-running TV show of the '70s, referenced by Dick Casablancas after Chip Diller is discovered shaved and sexually assaulted on the lawns of Hearst College. If a bald man can become a sex symbol, making women swoon every time he says "Who loves ya, baby," if a slightly pudgy guy can get away with sucking on lollipops and not attract the health Nazis, if a non-singer can have a huge pop hit, talking his way through a Bread standard...who's to say that Chip — bald, slight pudgy, and averse to renderings of "Peter Cottontail" — won't find life sweet after the events of 3.08 "Lord of the Pi's"?
-Inigo- Kon_Artist
Yet another of the gaming club screen names in 1.04 "The Wrath of Con."
-Inigo- Koontz, Abel
- Koontz, Stella
Abel Koontz's mother, R.I.P. She passed away, aged 78, three and a half years before her son did his evil deed. Just what that evil deed was is still open to debate in 1.16 "Betty and Veronica."
-Inigo- Kramer, Sarah
Neptune High student. Cute in a Hilary Duff, meet-me-in-the-galleria, Teen People kind of way, she is appraised by some younger boys. Cute as the Duff? I'm not sure if that's a compliment or an insult, but hey, at least it's better than being compared to Paris Hilton. She's on display in 1.03 "Meet John Smith."
-wyk- Kretchmer, John
Director of The Long Haul, starring Aaron Echolls. Gee, I wonder if there's a real director with his name? His name is in the credits, and in the credits, in 2.03 "Cheatty Cheatty Bang Bang."
-alliterator- Krimani, Amira
Shiksa princess. Though an apparent benefactor of Neptune High School's Pirate Points system, she's not so much an '09-er as the daughter of restaurant owners. Her parents want her to marry the charming "Death to America" posterboy who works for them, but she'd rather spend her time giving her boyfriend a happy after Shabbos dinner. Grateful becomes her middle name when Veronica removes some truly sordid evidence of Amira's personal Arab-Israeli peace conference in 3.16 "Un-American Graffiti."
-ninamazing
Played by Azita Ghanizada.- Krimani, Rashad
The owner of Babylon Gardens along with his wife,Sabirah. He's initially resistant to hiring Veronica but relents after being paintballed. Perhaps he should consider a better security system — some sort of robotic monitor, a Cylon if you will. His restaurant already has the right name for it in 3.16 "Un-American Graffiti."
-alliterator
Played by Anthony Azizi.- Krimani, Sabirah
The owner of Babylon Gardens along with her husband, Rashad. She hires Veronica to investigate the vandalism that's been happening, but here's a question Veronica fails to ask: what's her position on gypsies? Sabirah is very grazi and preggo, but her husband goes kaboom in 3.16 "Un-American Graffiti."
-alliterator
Played by Carole Raphaelle Davis.- Kris Kringle
Aka Santa Claus. Logan supposes Kringle could have made off with the poker cash as far as the drunken Duncan knew. Hee! Drunken Duncan! He makes an appearance, although sadly Kris Kringle does not, in 1.10 "An Echolls Family Christmas."
-Inigo- Kristi
Taut blonde in Taut Blonde. Or perhaps she's a tot blonde, which would be illegal in most states. Either way, she must be a hot blonde in 1.18 "Weapons of Class Destruction."
-Polter-Cow- Kt Echolls
- See Echolls, Kt
- Kuhne, Heidi
Bride-to-be. The delightful and vivacious sister of Jane Kuhne surely deserves better than the stack of wood that is Paul Mann and his upper-crust family. Here's hoping she exchanges that ring for something truly outrageous in 2.15 "The Quick and the Wed."
-grimsqueaker
Played by Virginia Williams.- Kuhne, Jane
- kumarSales
Email correspondent of Woody Goodman. What can be gleaned from the scant information we have on the mysterious "kumarSales?" Well, it can be assumed that they are selling something. Perhaps something Woody bought for nefarious purposes. Perhaps something that he feigned unhappiness with and then complained about in order to get insight into the inner workings of the rival corporation that he needs to take down to further his own interests! Yes, that's right. Kumar sells White Castle burgers (far superior to Woody burgers, clearly) in 2.21 "Happy Go Lucky."
-public displays of lust- Kurosawa, Akira
Highly regarded Japanese writer and film director. His films are influential and often remade or reinterpreted by Western admirers of his work. We reckon Rob Thomas has seen one or two. Norris is a fan in 1.18 "Weapons of Class Destruction."
-Inigo- Kurt Trusdale
- See Trusdale, Kurt
- Kurt Fenstermacher
- See Fenstermacher, Kurt
- Kusak, N.
Educator of Cora Briggs in world literature. The delights of Achebe, Borges, Ch'ing-Chao, Dante, Eliot, Flaubert, Gordimer, etc., etc., etc. are awaiting her. Or maybe in Neptune, the world only extends to Canada. So maybe it's Atwood, uh, um...and the rest. Teacher Kusak chooses the syllabus behind the scenes in 2.05 "Blast from the Past."
-Inigo- Kutcher, Ashton
Actor and punkster. He is Veronica's idea of Keith's idea of a high school crush. It is the perfect choice for a protective father: no chance Ashton will return the feelings, as his tastes famously run to the more mature. Veronica uses him to avoid doing what her father tells her to do in 1.15 "Ruskie Business", while Trina looks for him to turn up with the Punk'd crew in 2.09 "My Mother, the Fiend."
-Inigo
All bios: 2.09 1.15- Kuzzio, Kelly
- Kylie Marker
- See Marker, Kylie
- Kylie Minogue
- See Minogue, Kylie