3.08 "Lord of the Pi's"

Aired Nov 21, 2000

Summary

Two households, both alike in indignity,
In fair Hearst College, where we lay our scene,
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
Where easter eggs make feminist hands unclean.

From forth the clash of two wedded foes,
A pair of noir-ish P.I.'s search for a wife,
Whose clever sleuthing adultery doth expose,
And with their scheme end the married strife.

The fearful attack of Logan's slight-mark'd love,
And the continuance of their mutual rage,
Which, but the rapist's end, nought could remove,
Is now the traffic of our stage;

The which if you with patient eyes attend,
What here shall miss, our toil below shall strive to mend.

Important Parts

• Selma Rose, a rich socialite who is the swing vote for keeping Greek life on Hearst, mysteriously disappears. Dean O'Dell hires Keith and Veronica to find her. She is hiding out from her husband, who is blackmailing her to stay hidden until after their ten-year anniversary, when he is entitled to half of her money. He had his girlfriend, their dog-walker Hallie of Theta Beta, seduce his wife so he would have leverage against her. Keith and Veronica set it up so it looks like they conspired to kidnap Selma rather than blackmailing her into hiding, and Selma presents her husband with divorce papers.

• Chip Diller is found passed out on the lawn, wearing only his underwear, and with his head shaved. Dick tells Veronica that he also had a plastic egg shoved up his rear end. There were Roman numerals on it. She finds the egg, and the Roman numerals are 111 and 903. She figures out, with Wallace's help, that this is a date: 11/19/03.

• Veronica looks in back issues of the school newspaper and sees that a girl fell off the Theta Beta roof on that date. She discovers that Claire was the girl Patrice's best friend and Theta Beta sorority sister. Veronica goes to talk to Claire, and Nish and Fern are also in her room.

• Claire tells her that Patrice had undressed behind a two-way mirror in the Theta Beta house and was mocked and called fat by a group of Pi Sigs, including Chip, after her sorority sisters marked parts of her body that needed "work" in permanent marker. Patrice was traumatized by this and did not just fall off the roof; she walked off while the other Theta Betas were suntanning.

• Veronica comments that faking a rape would be good revenge against the fraternity brothers. She then asks Claire, Nish, and Fern how many of the rapes were fake, since there was no blood, semen, or any DNA evidence for the rapes. They do not answer her.

• Logan is worried about Veronica and tells her to stop working on the rape case. She gets mad about this and doesn't promise to stop. She thinks she is being followed, but it turns out that Logan hired someone to protect her. Veronica is furious at Logan, but he says he doesn't care. He just wants her to be safe because he loves her. She says she won't change, and he says neither will he, but she's always trying to change him. They say they love each other.

• Logan asks if things are okay between them, and Veronica says they are, but later in the cafeteria, Veronica doesn't answer her phone when Logan calls her. He is there to see this.