Who's Who of Veronica Mars — P
- P. Fenker
- See Fenker, P.
- P. Fennell
- See Fennell, P.
- P.J. Harvey
- See Harvey, P.J.
- P.W. Long
- See Long, P.W.
- Paco
Provider of, like, the best food EVER! Tacos are wonderful as they can be stuffed with anything and still taste exactly the same. Paco knows what makes a good menu, for Keith wants to treat his daughter to this Mexican delicacy in 3.05 "President Evil."
-Inigo- Padraig Fitzpatrick
- See Fitzpatrick, Padraig
- Paige
Veronica's fictional roommate...and possibly more. It's just college, right? I hope Veronica sends some of her stories about sleepovers to Penthouse. They definitely sound interesting in 2.04 "Green-Eyed Monster."
-alliterator- Pam
Bitchy 09er bitch who is really the bitchqueen of all Bitchonia. Also known as the type-A, tightass debutante in 1.08 "Like a Virgin."
-wyk
Played by Shanna Collins.- Pamela Hunsaker
- See Hunsaker, Pamela
- Pan Wrestler
Pan High Student. This kid reveals Weevil's identity as a high school sports bookie and inadvertently outs Veronica as an infiltrator at Pan High. He's not one for discretion in 1.16 "Betty and Veronica"
-topanga
Played by Jerry Zatarain.- Panic! at the Disco
Rock band. They write sins not tragedies. Surprisingly, these sins are approved by KRFF, judging by the poster on display. Well, you know what they say. The only difference between martyrdom and suicide is wall coverage in 3.03 "Wichita Linebacker."
-Polter-Cow- Panting Sophomore
A sophomore who kindly informs
ArchieRichie that Neptune High got their goat. A literal goat. This sophomore - who pants but does not do pantomime (thank god) - contributes to the wacky antics ofRiverdalePan High in 1.16 "Betty and Veronica."-alliterator
Played by Corey Bringas.- Papa Bear
The character that graces Moe's mug. Papa Bear was the pater familias of the Bear family who lived their lives in the forest, bothering no one and eating porridge. Their home should have been their castle and was until that sly, conniving juvenile delinquent, Goldilocks, broke in trashed the place. Hm, Goldilocks, golden locks, hair...Moe's mug is fairly blank, but Moe's mug may be more informative in 3.02 "My Big Fat Greek Rush Week."
-Inigo- Papparazzi
This photographer claims he spent a thousand dollars on the camera he used to snap pictures of Aaron and Logan Echolls. Aaron breaks his camera, so he'll probably sue in 1.13 "Lord of the Bling."
-topanga
Played by Ken Merckx.- Paramedic
This public servant tells Veronica to get out of the way so he can escort a stretcher out of her apartment complex. He eventually gets bored riding in ambulances and moves on to driving delivery trucks. He still likes his current job in 1.07 "The Girl Next Door."
-topanga
Played by Jon Michael Souza.- ParaVision
Poster on the Pirate S.H.I.P. board. This user is afraid that circumcision might violate or infringe upon his oops we forgot to finish the text on this prop. ParaVision should probably think about contacting HOOP in 2.14 "Versatile Toppings."
-grimsqueaker- Pardy, Gil Thomas
Student scientist at Hearst. Gil Thomas pretended to be as scientifically objective as his co-researcher, but really he's a softy for a cute monkey. It all started with a squeaky banana in 3.10 "Show Me the Monkey."
-funky-donut
Played by Eric Jungmann.- Paris Hilton
- See Hilton, Paris
- Parker Lee
- Parker Short
- See Short, Parker
- Parks,
Pedagogue at Neptune School
Abecedarian too.
Rules, not rulez. Did s/he admonish
Kevin Carney, on his English?
See more (or not as it's just a name on Wallace's computer screen) in 1.06 "Return of the Kane."-Inigo- Pasqual, Mr.
Mars Investigation client. He lost his uncle, so imagine his surprise when Keith tells him that his wife was cheating on him in 2.04 "Green-Eyed Monster."
-Inigo- Passing Co-Ed
A Hearst College student, she's the on-campus equivalent of the nosy neighbor. She notices what Parker and Mac were wearing when they left their dorm room, where they were going, and what they probably will do once they get there. How does she know they plan to use the gym's Stairmaster? Why not the treadmills or the ellipticals? Is she telepathic, or did she follow Parker and Mac to the gym and take copious notes on their activities? This co-ed needs to get a life in 3.03 "Wichita Linebacker."
-topanga
Played by Jacquelyn Ross.- Pastorelli, Mr.
Client of Mars Investigations. He doesn't know it yet, but his wife is doing the dirty on him. If Keith had to misplace a file, why couldn't it have been this one? Pastorelli is cuckolded in 2.04 "Green-Eyed Monster."
-Inigo- Pasty,
Tim's Lacey to Veronica's Cagney. We can figure how Veronica could see herself as Christine Cagney, given that she is blonde, tough, and has a 50% chance of becoming an alkie, but picturing Tim as a tough-yet-motherly crimefighter with a family goes a little far even for our lurid imaginations. The thought of Pasty blows the mind in 3.09 "Spit & Eggs."
-grimsqueaker- Pat Bryant
- See Bryant, Pat
- Pat "Big Pat" O'Brien
- See O'Brien, Pat "Big Pat"
- Pat Sajak
- See Sajak, Pat
- Patel, Sunil
Science writer extraordinaire. He could be like someone we know. With a Master's in pharmacology from the University of Michigan and a Bachelor's in both biochemistry and English from Rice, he has the qualifications to have his fine work featured on ethicalmedical.net. Be it a new treatment for cancer, an unusual study of rheumatoid arthritis, or a detailed look at COX-2 inhibition, he explains difficult science clearly and effectively. Why a major pharmaceutical company hasn't hired him as a medical writer is beyond us. In fact, in a recent poll, Turk— ow! Okay, the glowing recommendation of Turkmenistan probably won't impress prospective employers. But, seriously, hire him: he's certainly not making any money working on websites, if you get our drift. His stellar writing is completely ignored by Veronica in 2.08 "Ahoy, Mateys!"
-Polter-Cow- Patricia
One of Kendall Shiflett's peers at Handley High.
Patty-flake, what a fake Polly-ann
Show me a 'do more "catch if I can"
Blow it and tease it and toss it, that's the key
A fella in the offing and baby makes three!
This is a libel on what appears to be a perfectly nice girl whose picture is one amongst many in 2.19 "Nevermind the Buttocks."-Inigo- Patricia #2
Partner to Kevin and magic disappearer of debts. Hey, did Patrice Pitrelli manage to become sane, change her name slightly, and get a new job? Okay, that's probably not it. But we can't help but notice her ad is right below the rapist's — a clue of some sort? Perhaps Kevin and Patricia know more than they let on. Perhaps Kevin was the guard to Patricia's prisoner in the prison experiment and they know the secret of Mercer and Moe? Okay, maybe not. It still doesn't stop us from speculating in 3.09 "Spit & Eggs."
-alliterator- Patrick, Erica
Name appearing on a Google search for Patrick Nickerson. She could be a cousin of Danica Patrick, as they both race. Erica chooses to run her races on foot, however, running the Matthew Weiner Memorial 5K Road Race alongside her boyfriend, Jeremy Nickerson. The race commemorates a Princeton freshman who died during a pickup basketball game in 1999. We don't know how far a girl from South Bend, PA has to run to join the race in New Jersey, but it's awfully nice of her. We get a glimpse into her charitable spirit in 3.19 "Weevils Wobble But They Don't Go Down."
-starxdsparrow- Patrick Fitzpatrick
- See Fitzpatrick, Patrick
- Patrick Henry
- See Henry, Patrick
- Patrick Collin Nevin
- See Nevin, Patrick Collin
- Patrick Nickerson
- See Nickerson, Patrick
- Patrick Nickerson, Sr.
- See Nickerson Sr., Patrick
- Patrick Tartuffe
- See Tartuffe, Patrick
- Patterson, Emily
Made-up mother of a made-up dead mother. Confused? You should be. Veronica creates a fake death certificate for Lianne to access her mother's safety deposit box. Lianne isn't dead. Emily Patterson isn't Lianne's mother, unless Emily remarried a Reynolds later in life who gave Lianne his name. We have no idea. It is just as well for Veronica that the bank doesn't either in 1.05 "You Think You Know Somebody."
-Inigo- Patterson, George
Email writer. It may interest you to know that there are six George Pattersons in IMDb. Or maybe not. It's one of those dull sort of names that really defies mockery...unless you are a George Patterson...in which, consider yourself mocked...albeit lamely. Our George Patterson writes to Woody Goodman, as is displayed in 2.21 "Happy Go Lucky."
-Inigo- Patterson, Jason
Texan father to a dead daughter. Except...not really. His name turns up in the space for father on Lianne's fake death certificate. Since Lianne's maiden name is Reynolds, Veronica is pushing her luck to think the bank will swallow her charade. Oh, wait! The bank does, and shows the value of putting one's money under the mattress, in 1.05 "You Think You Know Somebody."
-Inigo- Patton, Billy
Father of Neptune High basketball player. Now here's a thing. This is his son, Bob Patton. See? Which of these guys do you reckon is Bob's dad? Of course, the Pattons could be the one couple that haven't arrived yet, but unless Bob's adopted, perhaps the rich and sleazy in Neptune aren't all white. Diversity is embraced or continuity goes to hell in 2.01 "Normal Is the Watchword."
-Inigo- Patton, Bob
One of the journalism students at Neptune High School and Wallace's replacement as starter on the basketball team. His parents conspired to further his sporting achievements by hobbling Wallace. His own bad karma ensures that he is cornered by busybody Evelyn Bugby in 1.07 "The Girl Next Door", and his parents' plans are thwarted in 2.01 "Normal Is the Watchword." Perhaps that's why he goes AWOL in 2.19 "Nevermind the Buttocks."
-Inigo
All bios: 2.19 2.01 1.07- Patton, Mary Jo
Bob Patton's mom and best cheerleader. She doesn't go quite so far as to murder Wallace to get her son his place as starter in the basketball team, but she does try to stick our favorite BFF with a drug record in 2.01 "Normal Is the Watchword."
-Inigo- Patty Wilson
- See Wilson, Patty
- Paul Brooks
- See Brooks, Paul
- Paul McCartney
- See McCartney, Paul
- Paul Cooper
- See Cooper, Paul
- Paul H. Hoshi
- See Hoshi, Paul H.
- Paul Mann
- See Mann, Paul
- Pauline Elliot
- See Elliot, Pauline
- Pavlov, Ivan
Scientist. His famous experiment was to condition his dogs to salivate at the ring of a bell because they associated the ringing with the promise of food. Veronica likens Vinnie to those same mongrels: he responds to any vocalization that ends in a question mark with a denial of knowledge because he's associated it with the liability of getting caught. This can be simplified like this: ? -> ! -> 0. Vinnie's other Pavlovian conditionings include % -> $ -> 0 and @ -> & -> 0, but neither is on display in 2.15 "The Quick and the Wed."
-Polter-Cow- Peach
Oft-imperiled princess from the Mushroom Kingdom. After being rescued by her plumber paramour, Mario, from Bowser's evil clutches for the umpteenth time, Peach devoted herself to racing go-karts. She's known for being quick and light on the road, and she handles herself well off the track. Beware if you race against this seemingly sweet royal: she's got an unlimited amount of shrinking lightning bolts, and she can protect herself with a spinning heart. Logan uses his skillz with the video game princess to teach Heather a thing or two about Mario Kart in 3.13 "Postgame Mortem."
-starxdsparrow- Peale, Jessica
Student at Neptune High? We are not too sure. She sent Veronica an email about English homework. Is the similarity of her name to a certain 7th Heaven actress a coincidence or should we be expecting a heart-warming barf-fest soon? Fortunately, that is not what we get in 2.06 "Rat Saw God."
-Inigo
|
- Pecannie, Jason
Pi Sigma Sigma fratboy. The smile and suit may say "Future Business Leader," but the goatee clearly spells "Evil Overlord." Not that these necessarily contradict each other. Jason's fate is foreseen in 2.16 "The Rapes of Graff."
-grimsqueaker- Peeping Tom
Peeper. Tom was the only boy who looked out his window when Lady Godiva allegedly rode past on her horse naked. But hey, he was a teenager and she was naked! Nude! Without clothes! She was wearing an ex-garment! And now, whenever some pervert watches someone else through a window or takes pictures (like Nasir Ben Hafayid) he's labeled a Peeping Tom. Well, at least it's better than Prince John's punishment. Veronica calls 'em like she sees 'em in 3.16 "Un-American Graffiti."
-alliterator- Pell, Claiborne
Former Rhode Island senator. During his run, Pell was most famous for his dedication to funding arts and humanities projects and providing study grants to students of no means, as well as for being instrumental in the confirmation of the first openly gay candidate to a public office. With such an impressive record, he probably should have gotten a college named after himself; alas, this is Neptune, where the greatest honors are always bestowed on tycoons of some sort. Trish hopes to use Pell's Grants to help her beloved Kurt stay at Hearst in 3.03 "Wichita Linebacker."
-grimsqueaker- Pencil-necked Geek
A geek whose neck looks similar to a certain narrow, generally cylindrical implement for writing and/or drawing. Or perhaps he's like a "man eating chicken," in that his neck isn't a pencil, but he's a pencil who necked a geek? Oh, whatever. He doesn't say much, but we know he's going to bite the head off a live chicken right after he watches Wallace taped to the flagpole in 1.01 "Pilot."
-alliterator
Played by Joshua Levine.- Penn, Sean
Talented actor, former husband of Madonna, and current husband of Princess Buttercup. He's also supposedly kind of a wanktard and, during a magazine interview, urinated in a beer bottle so he wouldn't have to get up. Before all of this, though, there was Taps, a movie in which Mr. Penn made his feature-film debut as Cadet Captain Alex Dwyer. Perhaps a big Penn fan, owned a copy of this movie in 3.15 "Papa's Cabin."
-tallow- Pep Squad Girl
Neptune High Student. She and Madison run the pep squad pie booth at Winter Carnival. She's not as cute or appealing as Lilly and Veronica were in their pep squad heyday but smiles her heart out in 2.13 "Ain't No Magic Mountain High Enough.".
-topanga
Played by Brigitte Graham.- Pep Squadder
Neptune High student. While she is at least concerned enough about poor, naked Wallace to ask for someone to cut him down from the flagpole, she either doesn't have the guts or the knife to do it herself in 1.01 "Pilot."
-grimsqueaker
Played by Heather Brittany.- Percy "Bone" Hamilton
- See Hamilton, Percy "Bone"
- Perez, Cervando
A mystery wrapped in an enigma dipped in some— wait, wrong bios. This PCHer and Neptune High student was one of the tragic victims of the bus crash. Little did Veronica realize how important he would be to the grand mystery; for not only was Cervando described as a "PCHer with a heart of gold" as well as psychotic (by Beaver, whom Cervando threw against a wall), but, by some chance of fate or happenstance, it turns out that Cervando has three last names. How did this happen? What lies at the heart of the mystery of Cervando's surnames? If Veronica can figure that out, maybe the rest of the puzzle pieces will fall into place. One can only hope in 2.02 "Driver Ed," 2.04 "Green-Eyed Monster," and 2.18 "I Am God."
-alliterator
All bios: 2.18 2.04 2.02- Perez, Rosie
Actress. Aaron dragged her to child Logan's birthday party. She thought he was a girl. Hee! She bought him a purse. Hee hee! Hey, remember how Logan tells Aaron that Aaron doesn't know anything about him? This early proof embarrasses Logan at the poker table in 1.10 "An Echolls Family Christmas."
-Inigo- Perry
Owner of a diner at which Heidi Kuhne withdrew money from an ATM. We imagine the music inside to be a mix of, like, straight-up East-Coast-thug hip hop...and Britpop. There's no sunshine in a castle on a Sunday, but Vinnie's a carnivore and Heidi's his prey in 2.15 "The Quick and the Wed."
-Polter-Cow- Perseus
Greek hero and son of Zeus. Veronica's laptop hard drive is neither looking suspiciously like a young Aaron Echolls, nor is it known to slay Gorgons and commit patricide, but its usefulness for the young detective surely reaches heroic proportions. Hard drive Perseus was last seen not carrying copies of Meg's secret files in 2.04 "Green-Eyed Monster."
-grimsqueaker- The Perturbed
Duh! They're punk rockers (from San Antonio) and it's 2006...so, like, clearly they are well named in 3.01 "Welcome Wagon."
-Inigo- Pete Kaminski
- See Kaminski, Pete
- Pete Rose
- See Rose, Pete
- Peter Cottontail
- See Cottontail, Peter
- Peter Ferrer
- Peter Lorre
- See Lorre, Peter
- Peter Sollesbury
- See Sollesbury, Peter
- Peters,
One of Neptune's finest...probably. See, here's the thing. The name is on the whiteboard in the interrogation room at the sheriff's department. We can't see enough to tell us definitively, but it does look like it's an assignment list, sort of like Hill Street Blues and Esterhaus, except in print and not in person because, you know, our little show has a really tight budget. But wouldn't it be cool if Deputy Jerry Sacks started each day telling the deputies what to do? It doesn't happen in 3.15 "Papa's Cabin."
-Inigo- Peters, Gordon
Pi Sigma Sigma fratboy. Once famous for his long, brunette locks, he is now famous for a much shorter haircut — one his mother would love, courtesy of his frat brothers. Also famous for his inability to charm Stacy Wells out of her pants. He gives Stacy a box of his shorn hair as a gift, one she happily turns into frat house confetti. Is Gordo like Samson, whose strength was stored in his hair? His sexual prowess definitely wasn't in 2.16 "The Rapes of Graff."
-topanga
Played by Kip Martin.- Peterson, Jonathan
Castle member, class of 1969. Perhaps Mr. Peterson hadn't done anything wrong when he matriculated to Hearst. Perhaps he had a bright future ahead of him. It's unfortunate that he possibly spawned a murderer. Maybe he should give Big Dick a call, so they can chat about all they have in common in 3.20 "The Bitch Is Back."
-starxdsparrow- Peterson, Scott
A former fertilizer salesman and current inmate in San Quentin. He didn't shoot a man in Reno, but he killed his pregnant wife. Veronica claims she would rather spend seven minutes with him than attend Parker's party, but we think she's just a tad exaggerating. Five or six minutes, maybe, but a whole seven? We don't think so. Veronica fibs to herself in 3.16 "Un-American Graffiti."
-alliterator- Petri, Julius Richard
German bacteriologist who invented the Petri dish in the late 1800s. While his innovative technique for culturing bacteria undoubtedly helped identify the causes of many diseases, we're sure no microbiologist would go anywhere near the horrors that would grow on a Petri dish cultured from the nether regions of Dick or Bonnie. At least not without biohazard suits and level 4 containment. Veronica makes us all want to douse ourselves in bleach at the mere thought in 3.09 "Spit & Eggs.".
-misskiwi- Pez
One of several of Desmond Fellows' nicknames for Piz. Pez are little bricks of candy that some genius loaded into a toy, thus making them the perfect thing to tempt a two-year-old with in the aisle on the way out of a grocery store. While Piz is not a small brick of sugar ejected from a plastic flip-top head, everyone certainly thinks he's sweet in 3.17 "Debasement Tapes."
-starxdsparrow- Pfeiffer, Dedee
Lesser-known actress sister of Michelle Pfeiffer. As compared to the lesser-known actress (adopted) daughter of Aaron Echolls. Kendall's comparisons seem to be spot-on in 2.09 "My Mother, the Fiend."
-alliterator- Phanco, Anne
A freshman from Sante Fe in the Freshman Facebook. Or perhaps we should say "freshwoman"? Her name sounds phonetically similar to Anne Frank. Is she hiding from Nazis in Sante Fe? Perhaps or perhaps not in 3.07 "Of Vice and Men."
-alliterator- Phil Jackson
- See Jackson, Phil
- Phil Klemmer
- See Klemmer, Phil
- Philip Marlowe
- See Marlowe, Philip
- Phipps, Norman
A reporter from Vanity Fair who impersonated Logan's half-brother, Charlie Stone. He seems like a nice enough guy, tells stories about "his" childhood, and bonds with Logan while surfing, but alas, he had a tap on Charlie's phone, proving that he's not such a nice guy after all. The most important thing, though, is that he and Logan had a swoon-worthy shirtless scene together in 3.04 "Charlie Don't Surf."
-fulfilled
Played by Matt Czuchry.- Phone Guy
Guy from Goshen, New York. His only use to "friends" like Brian and Fred? He happens to live in the 845 area code, the same as Poughkeepsie, which just happens to be the town from which Chelsea hails. He also happens to go to this tiny, West Coast liberal arts college that no one's ever heard of, but Veronica, brilliant PI that she is, manages to use her excellent detective skills to deduce exactly where he's located in 3.11 "Poughkeepsie, Tramps and Thieves."
-fulfilled
Played by Christopher Carley.- Phono-Comb
Canadian band. While Trish's taste in boyfriends could politely be categorized as hit-and-miss, her taste in bands appears to be either very exclusive, patriotic (if she's originally from Toronto), or vintage (given that the band ceased to exist in 1996). Of course, she might simply think their poster makes for a good wall decoration in 3.03 "Wichita Linebacker."
-grimsqueaker- Phuong Nguyen
- See Nguyen, Phuong
- Phylis Skiencars
- See Skiencars, Phylis
- Phyllis
Roommate and friend of Bonnie. Thought of as a good person, she agreed to Raiders of the Lost Dorm Room. She seemed to have bonded with her roommate's father. She even seemed to like Bonnie's boyfriend, even though she framed him for her mistakes. But she had her roommate's dreams at heart! A shame that she did not get the memo when those dreams changed around 3.12 "There's Got To Be A Morning After Pill."
-dutchmoxie
Played by Toni Trucks.- Phyllis Teeterborough
- See Teeterborough, Phyllis
- Piatt, Hallie
- Picasso, Pablo
Painter of some renown and libido. Will Andre become as famous? Pft. His efforts can be viewed in 1.07 "The Girl Next Door."
-Inigo- Pickett, Rick
Freshman at NYU and former batboy for the Sharks. Or is he? Perhaps he quit NYU and went to work as a graphic designer for a cult television show. You never know. It could happen. Rick's nowhere to be found (just look for the signs!) in 2.21 "Happy Go Lucky."
-alliterator- Pierce Brosnan
- See Brosnan, Pierce
- Pierre de Fermat
- See Fermat, Pierre de
- Pilgrim
John Wayne's nickname for Jimmy Stewart in The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance. He actually calls Stewart "Pilgrim" twenty-three times, another incident of the almost ubiquitous number. The phrase became a staple of Wayne impersonations like Veronica's in 3.15 "Papa's Cabin."
-alliterator- Pink Hair
Not a wig user. Honestly, sometimes Veronica can be a real blonde who doesn't habitually use hair coloring products and thus wouldn't see that this is, of course, Pink Hair's real hair and not some cheap, fake, poorly constructed substitute, that is. Veronica insults pink red herrings in 2.16 "The Rapes of Graff."
-grimsqueaker
Played by Ka'imi Kuoha.- Pirelli, Silvio
Glassblower, master of Old World crystal. Aaron's latest tutor obviously didn't fancy following in the calendar- and tire-making family business. His student's bong-urn suggests he should reconsider. And damn him to hell! If he hadn't cancelled his lesson with Aaron, would we have gotten a longer and even hotter Veronica/Logan makeout session in 1.20 "M.A.D."?
-Inigo- Pit Boss
The Boss of the Pit in the Seven Rivers Casino. Nothing like a Pit Bull. He informs Keith that cell phones are blocked in the casino. Man, that's the pits in 2.14 "Versatile Toppings."
-alliterator
Played by Jocko Marcellino.- Pitrelli, Patrice
Zeta Theta Beta pledge. She was a victim of ridicule and mocking in the Theta Beta house Secret Room of Ridicule and Mocking, where she was forced to undress and, rather than tell Dr. Troy what she doesn't like about herself, let the sisters tell her by drawing circles in permanent marker on her body. And then the Pi Sigs laughed at her. For weeks. She woke up one morning and when she got out of bed, her foot hovered off the ground. Just for a split second, like she was floating. I'm telling you, she thought she could fly! To be honest, we're not sure about that part, but it would explain why she walked off a roof. Too bad she doesn't have a slimy politician for a brother. Now she's in a mental institution. We hope it's not Belle Reeve. Or Arkham. Veronica Mars gets the whole sordid tale from the Greek chorus of feminist shame in 3.08 "Lord of the Pi's."
-Polter-Cow- Pixie Stick, Miss
Jackie Cook awards Veronica this charming moniker when she ponders if the two of them need a little heart-to-heart about Wallace Fennel. Her boyfriend thinks she should pick her battles more wisely, but our princess does not listen in 2.04 "Green-Eyed Monster."
-grimsqueaker- Piznarski, Stosh "Piz"
- Pizza Guy #2
Purveyor of pizzas. Following in the loping footsteps of Neptune's favorite pizza guy must be rough, but this dude does it with a wink and a smile. Obviously a regular enough visitor to Max and Mac's Love Shack (say that three times fast!) to notice wardrobe changes, he gets a good tip for his discretion in 3.18 "I Know What You'll Do Next Summer."
-starxdsparrow
Played by Walter Clark.- Plagge, Mike K.
A freshman from Princetown in the Freshman Facebook. He shares his last name with Major Karl Plagge, a Nazi Party member. Hey, maybe he's looking for Anne Phanco! Or maybe not in 3.07 "Of Vice and Men."
-alliterator- Plath, Sylvia
Poet. Really, really depressed. She's sort of the stereotypical depressed poet; she wrote a bunch of confessional poetry and then stuck her head in an oven. Jalisa Jones, when Abigail Montgomery attempts to pass herself off as Sylvia Plath, says, "You look burnt. Or dead." Or at least she would have, had she been a Teen Girl Squad fan before 3.19 "Weevils Wobble But They Don't Go Down."
-Polter-Cow- Plato
Greek philosopher considered one of the greatest thinkers of all time. Sadly, however ideal Plato's form (that's a philosophy joke, by the way), it didn't stop Amelia DeLongpre from ditching study of his essay on government, The Republic, for three million bucks in 1.17 "Kanes and Abel's," or Coach Dwight Fry from inferring that any football player who wanted to spend time with him is a waste of a scholarship in 3.03 "Wichita Linebacker."
-Inigo
All bios: 3.03 1.17- Plax
One of several of Desmond Fellows' nicknames for Piz. Plax is a brand name, pre-brushing dental rinse intended to loosen plaque. We hear that Piz brushes twice daily and he once had his guitar amp turned up so loud, a plaque was loosened from a wall in his dad's office. Huh. Coincidences abound in 3.17 "Debasement Tapes."
-starxdsparrow- Pleacher, Mr.
There once was a school science teacher
With lots of ideas, name of Pleacher.
Of one of his tricks,
Physics Olympics,
Was heard in a school TV feature
...in 2.14 "Versatile Toppings."-Inigo
A member of the Castle in 1933. Raymond's father still believed that a last name dictated what job you were going to do in life, so he dutifully gave his son the name of a farm implement, thinking that he would become a farmer. Ray rebelled against his father's wishes and, after joining Hearst and the Castle, became a famous author. Realizing that perhaps "Ploughshare" wouldn't look very nice on the cover of a book, he changed it. To what? Well, you'd have to ask his friend, Edward Marlow. Two peas in a pod, they were. Raymond's real last name is forever preserved on Jake Kane's hard drive in 3.20 "The Bitch Is Back."
-alliterator- Plum, Professor
Character from Cluedo (original) or Clue (mucked about name). Plum by name, plum by nature, he may have done evil deeds in the conservatory with a lead pipe or in the apartment upstairs with a potted plant, according to Andre in 1.07 "The Girl Next Door."
-Inigo- Pocket, Judge
Duh, judge. He/she officiated the settlement between Neptune Memorial Hospital and the two families whose babies the hospital managed to mix up, as reported in 1.11 "Silence of the Lamb."
-Inigo- Poe, Edgar Allan
Writer and poet of such gems as:
Once upon a classroom dreary, while they bantered, snark and sneery,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While they showed off manly strapping, suddenly there came a mapping,
Of a plan for Daniels crapping, trapping his car so to score
"We've the cojones," they muttered, "trapping his car so to score -
Vengeance this, and nothing more."We may have misquoted, unduly influenced by the events in 1.07 "The Girl Next Door," but at least we know how to spell the man's name, unlike whoever provided the tell-tale heart prop in 3.03 "Wichita Linebacker."
-Inigo
All bios: 3.03 1.07- Poincare, Henri
French mathematician. He developed an unproven theory in topology regarding folds, bends and twists of objects without changing their original properties. Wallace just bluffs knowing it, as do we, in 1.04 "The Wrath of Con."
-Inigo- Poitier, Sidney
Actor. In 1963, he was the first African-American to receive a Best Actor Oscar. However, one of his most famous roles was years later, in the 1967 film Guess Who's Coming to Dinner? In it, he portrays a black doctor who gets engaged to a wealthy white woman. Could this be a shout-out to Sidney's daughter Sydney Tamia, who is a former Veronica Mars cast member? Logan channels Sidney when he shows up for dinner at a nervous Veronica's apartment in 3.04 "Charlie Don't Surf."
-topanga- Polk, Amy
Dead. Recent victim of the E-String Strangler. Sometimes being a young, nubile, pretty blonde has its downside. Bummer. Her murder is investigated in 1.11 "Silence of the Lamb."
-wyk- Pollard, Gabrielle
Neptune student and friend of Yolanda Hamilton. They'd hang and sneak into L.A. clubs together. It's a relationship that reminds Veronica Mars that she proved to be less of a friend to Yolanda in 1.13 "Lord of the Bling."
-Inigo
Played by Monique Coleman.- Polly
Neptune High School mascot. You'll never guess what Polly is. Go on. Give it a go. An aardvark? No, that's not it. A platypus? Come on! You're not even trying. A dodo? Close, but no cigar. Polly is a...parrot. Cool, huh? Polly wanna tracker in 1.16 "Betty and Veronica."
-Inigo- Polonius
Character in Hamlet. Sound advice on money management doesn't make up for his being a tedious old fool who gets himself killed when he forgets that there is a reason for keeping quiet when hiding behind a curtain. An ignoble death, certainly, but at least he managed to predecease his children, if only by days. Logan ponders on Polonius's fate, or not, in 1.07 "The Girl Next Door."
-Inigo- Pomroy, Esther
Mother of at least one Shelly and shareholder in Boatloads of Fun Corp. Esther's mate doesn't seem to be around. With no man around the house, is this why second-squad-cheerleader Shelly was so interested in making out with Veronica in 1.21 "A Trip to the Dentist"? Esther was late for the conspiracy's unmasking in 2.01 "Normal Is the Watchword."
-Inigo- Pomroy, Shelly
- Poor, Henry Varnum
Ninteenth-century book publisher. He, not the plummeting economy, puts the Poor in Standard and Poor's, which Duncan thinks he can beat in 2.03 "Cheatty Cheatty Bang Bang."
-Polter-Cow- Pop, Iggy
Noted musician and heroin user, and lead singer of the Stooges. As far as we know, Curly Moran wasn't in the band. For Iggy, a lust for life didn't stop the idiot from chasing the naughty little doggie. Veronica doesn't play stooge and avoids the temptation of her own kind of heroin, the knowledge that would come from prying into Meg's (and Duncan's) secrets in 2.04 "Green-Eyed Monster."
-Inigo- Pope, Alexander
Poet from way back. Four foot six, he wore a bodice and was called the "hunchbacked toad." We're not completely sure if that was a term of affection, given British "humour." He discovered life's a bitch and then you die. Hope springs eternal that a little learning isn't too dangerous for y'all. His Essay On Man is recited by a sleep deprived Veronica in 1.01 "Pilot."
-Inigo- Pope, Amy
Sister/romantic red herring. Naturally pretty, friendly, and clearly unthreatened by Mac, the anonymous girl living with Bronson is OBVIOUSLY the perfect girlfriend Bronson forget to mention. But quicker than you can say "cock block," Parker gets to the root of the relationship the viewing audience was suspecting all along. Amy and Bronson are simply shacked-up siblings, and not in a creepy Flowers in the Attic sort of way in 3.10 "Show Me the Monkey."
-bethgee
Played by Amelia Jean Alvarez.- Pope, Bronson
- Pope, Samuel Nelson
- Popovich, Brian "Pop"
Football player at Hearst College. Pop was a walk-on to the team, which means he's not the recipient of any scholarship money. He's also handsome, popular with the ladies, and not ashamed to steal his friend Kurt's sociology homework. He got an offer from another college to come play ball, but with Kurt leaving the team and his scholarship money up for grabs, Pop's probably staying at Hearst in 3.03 "Wichita Linebacker."
-funky-donut
Played by Sam Horrigan.- Poppum, Miss
Umm. We are not too sure what she does, but she hopes to bring a little bit of Broadway to the beach in 1.08 "Like a Virgin."
-Inigo- Popular, Mr.
Moniker cynically awarded to Professor Landry by Veronica. We are not too sure the dean or the hypothetical partners/spouses of Landry's previous conquests would necessarily call him that, but his student body — with the notable exception of his TA Timothy Foyle and Ms. Mars herself — certainly agrees in 3.07 "Of Vice and Men."
-grimsqueaker- Porso
What is in a name? Well, this one has a little bit of "Porsche" and little bit of "torso." Does Mr. or Ms. Porso have a Porsche-like torso? The announcer doesn't say in 2.07 "Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner."
-alliterator- Potiker, Jason
A freshman from Seattle in the Freshman Facebook. Jason Pot-Sticker, anyone? How many other playground nicknames can the Hearst freshman class come up with in 3.07 "Of Vice and Men"?
-fulfilled- Warren "Potsie" Weber
- See Weber, Warren "Potsie"
- Potter, Harry
Wizard in training. It would be an understatement to say the books he stars in are quite popular. Harry will be delighted to have made an appearance on the cover of Week Beat with the tragic Aaron Echolls in 1.13 "Lord of the Bling."
-Inigo- Potter, Stewart "Stewpot"
Resident advisor in the Clark Hall dormitory at Hearst College. Such a creative and clever nickname, guys. Your parents will be pleased to know that the tens of thousands they've paid to Hearst for your education is not going to waste. Stewpot prowls, seeking out happy hookers stashed in the rooms of smitten cheat-kings. He finds nothing in 3.11 "Poughkeepsie, Tramps and Thieves."
-Inigo- Powell, Kevin
Student at Neptune. He is Wallace's final choice of the person who invited him along to Madison Sinclair's party in 1.11 "Silence of the Lamb."
-Inigo- Powerpuff Girls
Cartoon heroines with superpowers. Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup fight crime and bring justice to the bad guys. Sound like anyone else we know? Ophelia shows her devotion to these great role models in 2.13 "Ain't No Magic Mountain High Enough."
-funky-donut- Preppernau, Coach
- Presley, Elvis
Singer. Fried pork chops and he go together like cholesterol and heart damage. Keith buys into Lianne's music-with-food theory when it comes to the King of Rock and Roll in 1.22 "Leave It to Beaver."
-Inigo- Presley, Lisa Marie
Daughter of Elvis Presley and ex-wife of Nicolas Cage. Nic still keeps a photo of her on his bar. Elvis might too, if he weren't haunting Aaron Echolls in his sleep and singing "Jailhouse Rock." See the spectre of his daughter cause suspicion in 2.04 "Green-Eyed Monster."
-alliterator- Preston Boone
- See Boone, Preston
- PrettyPony01
Screen name for Desmond Fellows. Man, all these screen names are depressingly boring. BlackCat70? BlackCat80? Where's the creativity? Desmond totally could have gone for, like, Beatleslover1million! Okay, so that's not very creative either. ANYway, Desmond likes chatting with fans in 3.17 "Debasement Tapes."
-funky-donut- Price, J.
Cora Brigg's Calculus teacher. We wonder if he's related to Vincent Price. Maybe not, but we'd like to hear him say, "Darkness falls across the land. The midnight hour is close at hand. Creatures crawl in search of blood—to terrorize y'all's neighbourhood." Cora doesn't feel the evil of the Thriller in 2.05 "Blast from the Past."
-alliterator- Prince Charming
Every girl's dream. Julie Bloch had found hers. Unfortunately, she also threw him away, making Patrick Collin Nevin the future prey of hundreds of money-hungry miniature Lacey Shifflets. Collin is unaware of his fate in 2.04 "Green-Eyed Monster."
-grimsqueaker- Princess
Returned dog. In Neptune, even dogs are affected by the haves/have-nots divide — while Mandy's meager ransom for her mongrel can't affect the evil napper's heart, the $750 reward offered for this little Yorkie's return certainly does in 1.19 "Hot Dogs."
-grimsqueaker- Princess #2
A king's hot daughter who he marries off in order to secure Denmark? A winged lady of the faerie variety all covered in sparkles? Someone's very fluffy dog with bows around her ears? A damsel in a giant pink dress waiting to be rescued from a giant turtle by a plumber? An unsuspecting dupe in a rather sinister bit of revenge for a homicide frame-up? Ah, yes. That's the ticket. Logan redefines "princess" and gives the name to Hannah Griffith in 2.13 "Ain't No Magic Mountain High Enough."
-public displays of lust- Prindle, Jessica
DJ of "The 33 Chart Toppers" on Hearst Radio. Why 33? Aren't most countdown shows the top 20? 30? 40? Maybe Jessica is afraid of zeroes, but the fact still remains that she was on air Sept. 30, the night of Parker's rape, according to 3.07 "Of Vice and Men."
-fulfilled- Priscilla Banks
- See Banks, Priscilla
- Proctor
Oversees a sociology test. His obnoxious gloating at his own power makes us side with Logan's urban legendary cheating, even though we do not condone it in any way and had nothing to do with his decision to do it. This proctor gets owned in 3.06 "Hi, Infidelity."
-grimsqueaker
Played by Jesse Matthew Bernstein.- Professor
Oh, the life of Wallace's professor. Years of studying in dank cubicles at the library, slaving away at research papers, sacrificing a social life until he finally obtains that coveted professorship…only to be used as Wallace's excuse to avoid a girl and pass him a note from the Castle. Oh, academia. It takes us right back to middle school in 3.20 "The Bitch Is Back."
-leila6
Played by Gary Ballard.- Prosecution Lawyer
She objects! to Aaron's lies and his lawyer's accusations, and girl, are we ever on your side! Too bad she's just the prosecution and not one of the jurors in Aaron's trial in 2.21 "Happy Go Lucky."
-grimsqueaker
Played by Gay Storm.- Proust, Marcel
French intellectual and novelist. Some hold that his Remembrance of Things Past is the greatest novel of all time. Others find it, like that other great novel Ulysses, turgid and damn near unreadable. Hamilton Cho puts himself in the former category, even if he has to read it at UCLA, in 1.17 "Kanes and Abel's."
-Inigo- Psyc(h)o
Fratboy on the Pi Sigma Sigma scoreboard. It's refreshing to know that college kids these days are still inspired by Hitchcock movies, but what does it say about the educational system if they can't even spell "Psycho?" Oedipal thrillers and orthographical dramas meet in 2.16 "The Rapes of Graff."
-grimsqueaker- Psyris
One of the gaming club screen names in 1.04 "The Wrath of Con."
-Inigo- Pulido, Thomas
Hearst freshman from Scottsdale. I wonder how the change in humidity is affecting him, moving from Arizona to California. He's probably too busy battling his suddenly too-frizzy hair to study in 3.07 "Of Vice and Men."
-fulfilled- Pulitzer, Joseph
Journalist and newspaper publisher. He established the Pulitzer Prize to honor print journalism. Veronica is skeptical that any article on Neptune High's frequent fire drills merits the attention of the Pulitzer Committee. Damn, that's another accolade that the award-worthy Veronica won't win in 1.18 "Weapons of Class Destruction."
-Inigo, wyk- Punk Rock Kid
Neptune High Student. He says Wanda is going to blow this chick (the other candidate for Student Body president) out of the water and tells Logan he can kiss his precious Pirate Points goodbye. The guy loves a good metaphor. Punk Rock Kid sees his bubble burst when Duncan's candidacy is announced in 1.06 "Return of the Kane."
-topanga
Played by Brad Surosky.- Pus
One of several of Desmond Fellows' nicknames for Piz. Pus is that icky stuff associated with nasty things like open wounds, abscesses, and sores. Piz is that ickle freshman associated with bands like the Of Montreal, Ampel, and The Softies. It's easy to see how Desmond would get confused in 3.17 "Debasement Tapes."
-starxdsparrow- Pussycat Doll
Member of a "band" consisting of interchangeable female members who have had hits such as "Don't Cha" and "Stickwitu." While perhaps they should look into spelling lessons, the Pussycat Dolls have a distinctive look that Veronica thinks maybe she should have emulated for the Zeta Theta Beta party in 3.02 "My Big Fat Greek Rush Week."
-funky-donut