Jane Kuhne

Take the band dork, Jane. He'll spare you all the pain, I swear. Oh, sweet, sweet Jane. How innocent you were. One might even say naive. But you were so sweet. And cute. Cute as a button. Even when you were all stalker-y with Wallace or sneezing in Ms. Hauser's class. And you were still cute when you started dating Wallace (much to Jackie's chagrin). You even have a sloppy (yet kick-ass) sister. So where did it all go wrong?

Well, it could have been that Wallace never really got over Jackie and resorted to stealing a kiss from her at the Sadie Hawkins Dance. You tried to deny it, tried to tell yourself that it was Jackie that instigated the kiss, but once Wallace spilled the truth, you knew; deep down you knew that it was over. And there was nothing left except for the crying.

Oh, don't cry, Jane. Please. There'll be other guys for you. Guys that don't still have feelings for their ex-girlfriends. Guys like...Bob.