Fern Delgado

With a name like Fern, you expect a pleasant, peace-loving hippie. Like the folks in the Mooncalf Collective, for instance. But this Fern is far from pleasant and peace-loving. Just look at those tattoos! Those nose rings! That knee to Dick's nuts! Putting an egg up Chip's bum! Gloria Steinem, eat your heart out!

Fern really isn't someone you want to cozy up to, especially if you have any association at all with fraternities or sororities, or even humor magazines. She's pretty convinced they're responsible for all the rapes on campus, the War in Iraq, global warming, and every single Uwe Boll film. Of course, we just have her militant hatred to go on here. She almost got her wish when the Greeks were *this close* to being kicked off campus, but Dean O'Dell's reversal of that decision put her into a foul...er mood and made her pelt the dean's car with spit and eggs.

She may be part of Take Back the Night, but this not-so-delicate Fern is more apt to rip the Night out of your arms or possibly shove it where the sun don't shine.