Dr. Al Levine

From the files of Doctor Levine:

Patient: I am a 16- or 17-year-old boy (I'm really screwed up). I need to stop feeling blue about the murder of my sister. What can you do for me?
Prescription: Pills. Ingest regularly. Avoid juggling pills near drains.
Patient: Thanks for the pills. Now I don't feel anything. You are a miracle worker.

Patient: I have access to millions. I need a patsy to divert suspicion. What can you do for me?
Prescription: Koontz. Invest regularly. Avoid juggling alibis near sheriffs.
Patient: Thanks for Koontz. Now I don't fear anything. You are a miracle worker.

Letter from Security 'R' Us: We regret the continuing dispute over our last invoice. Note that as a result, our most recent security check was cut short and the small intrusion tests were not completed. However, we can confirm security to be impenetrable by any but the petite.