Being obsessive? Not a problem.
Being snarky? Oh please, that's so not a problem.
Being obsessive and snarky by the Sunday update deadline? Not a...well, to be honest, we've hit a small bump when it comes to that third objective. In case you haven't noticed, we've added a whole bunch of new sections to the site during the summer. And with plans to add even more stuff to the site, we've realized that we need more people on our team.
If you are interested in joining the fastest-growing site on the Web, with great pay, and excellent healthcare packages, then you might as well stop reading now. Do we look like Google/iTunes/Prying Eyez to you? However, if you are interested in joining the ever-expanding MI.net team, with absolutely no pay, and no healthcare benefits (except for the occasional free advice from our resident doctor), then continue reading.
MI.net is looking for a couple of new grammar-loving, MLA-memorizing writers/editors and advanced-level, will-work-for-free programmers to help out with the site. But, as you well know if you read this site, we are a picky bunch. So here's what we need:
Send in a sample of your editing. Find some piece of badly written fiction or non-fiction anywhere on the Interweb (like that'll be hard to find), and edit the hell out of it. Send us the original piece as well as a corrected version (with notes of what changes you made). Feel free to edit content as well, but not so drastically that it might as well be a new piece.
Send us a sample of your writing. Warning: this should be proofread! You must be able to edit as well as write. If reading your sample makes a certain phantom bovine's brain explode, you probably won't hear back from us. We already have a grammar-challenged writer on our team; we don't need another.
Our site is powered by a custom-built, PHP/MYSQL CMS that was created by our four coders. If you're a geek and you would like to join the ranks of the basement-dwelling MI.net coder monkeys, then send us an email detailing your coding experience.
If you're interested in one of these roles, nifty.
If you're interested in two of these roles, awesome.
If you're interested in all three of these roles, holy [bleep]!
Please also tell us a little bit about yourself — how old you are, what you do in your non-VM time, how you got into Veronica Mars fandom, how much time you estimate you'll have for the site, and you can feel free to kiss our butts a little bit, too.
"But I'm not very snarky. Can I still apply?"
Certainly. And if we manage to stay awake long enough while reading your application, we might actually respond.
All kidding aside, while we highly value snark, it is not an absolute prerequisite for joining our team. As long as you understand the jokes, even if you couldn't tell a joke to save your your life, that's fine. However, if you constantly think to yourself, "MI.net sucks! You guys aren't funny!" you need not apply.
"But I don't know any HTML."
Not a problem. As long as you have access to a computer and can type in English, you'll be fine. Preferably American English, and not the bloody British English that a certain Logan-lusting team member insists on using.
"Cool, I want to join so I can talk to all the actors and writers!!"
Whoa. Hold your horses there, little-miss/mister-hanger-on. Like we have said numerous times, WE AREN'T OFFICIALLY CONNECTED WITH THE SHOW. If you think being part of this team will make you BFF with the VM VIPs, you need not apply.
"If I can't talk to the cast and stuff, what's the point of joining?"
If you have to ask, you need not apply.
"I'm a great writer and proofreader. You guys simply must let me on your team."
This is like the worst case of déjà vú. Look, this site is a collaborative team effort. We don't need or want an egomaniacal, I-can't-help-it-if-God-made-me-fabulous hissy fitter on our team. If you have a prolonged history of not playing nice with the other kids, you need not apply.
"logan is so hooooooottttt!! i luvvvvv dis show and you site."
Uh, yeah...if that's your level of writing, don't you even dare think of applying. Otherwise, we will hunt you down, buy a big, fat dictionary, and beat you with it.
So if you're interested in joining our webteam, drop us a line for information. There is a one-time application fee of $1,000, which is 100% refundable, minus the $5,000 restocking fee.
"$1,000 application fee?! Are you kidding me?!"
If you can't see the message through the snark, you need not apply.