3.09 "Spit & Eggs"

Aired Nov 28, 2006


Pi Sigma party: The scene opens on a busy party, with music playing and a lot of people dancing. Piz and Mac stand together. Mac asks if he's seen Veronica, and Piz replies he hasn't for awhile.

Hearst dorms: Veronica runs out of a room, hitting the wall. She's obviously in a panic and crying. She reaches Wallace and Piz's dorm room and pounds on the door, shouting for them. When no one answers, she turns and sinks to the floor, and we see that her nose and eye are bleeding, and she has a bruise across her cheek. Someone comes to stand next to her, and she looks up, her eyes widening.

Opening credits - haven't thought of you lately at all…

Two Days Earlier.

Hearst Campus: The Lilith House girls, including Nish, Claire, and Fern sing "Na Na Hey Hey (Kiss Him Goodbye)" and dance on a float with a giant pig on it. Some students smile at them, while others are unhappy. Veronica comments that if they're meant to be protecting women on campus, they aren't doing much good with the display they're making now, and that the Greek system has been dismantled, but a rapist is still at large. She turns to see Logan and Dick walking out of class, joking around with each other. Veronica smiles and goes to greet Logan. Logan doesn't look as happy to see her as she does him. Veronica asks Dick if he modeled for the Lilith House pig, and Dick says he did, and then he moons the float. He leaves, and Veronica moves towards Logan, saying he wasn't outside her class, but she waited. He hardly replies, and she asks if something's wrong. Logan tells her he can't do this anymore because they aren't working. He points out that he doesn't measure up to the person she wants him to be, and that she said she wasn't built for letting people help her. Veronica begins to protest, but Logan continues that he's not made for standing on the sidelines. He says they have a choice to have a tough but survivable amount of pain now, or stay together, and have to deal with unbearable pain later. Logan says he'd rather have the pain now. He tells her he's always there for her if she needs anything. He kisses her on the forehead and tells her she never needs anything.

Dean O'Dell's office: Weevil is fixing the dean's television as the two of them discuss boxing. The TV starts working, and the dean expresses his appreciation. Weevil tells him that his hi-def receiver should be in soon. As Weevil leaves, Mindy comes in to switch vehicle keys with the dean because she's been unexpectedly called out of town for business, and he'll need the minivan. As they're cuddling on his couch, albeit Mindy is a little reluctant, Dean O'Dell's assistant, Cora, interrupts, informing the dean of a visitor without an appointment. He meets with the man, an alumnus named Mel, who has come to tell Dean O'Dell that his fondest memories of his time at Hearst are of his fraternity and implies that he'll withdraw his financial contributions if the Greek system is dismantled.

Hearst Cafeteria: Veronica gets handed a tray with her lunch and stares at it. Mac and Wallace keep looking at her in concern, until Mac says her name. Veronica immediately says she's fine, and Mac and Wallace jump in, saying they know she is, but it's okay if she isn't. Veronica says she just thought they should know; she wasn't looking for pity. Mac asks if there is anything they can do, and Veronica turns her down. Oblivious, Piz walks up and begins to babble on about his upcoming radio show. It's to discuss the end of the Greek system, with one guy wanting to turn them into an ROTC training battleground. Wallace and Mac stare at him uncomfortably, and Veronica stares at her food sadly.

Mars Investigations: Dean O'Dell tells Keith about his suspicion that Mindy is cheating on him, and Keith tries to placate him, but the dean is insistent that Keith investigate. The dean gives Keith Mindy's travel itinerary, including information about her business colleague, Wally, and Keith sighs in resignation.

Mars apartment: Veronica arrives home to find her dad writing an address down and his bags packed. She asks if he's going somewhere, and he tells her he's away to Sacramento because his client thinks his wife is cheating on him. He notices Veronica is quiet and asks if she's all right. She tells him that she and Logan broke up. He asks if she wants him to stay, and she says she's fine, it was just unexpected. Keith hesitantly leaves as Veronica ushers him out.

Mars apartment: Veronica steps into the shower, barely holding it together. She begins to cry as she stands under the water, then sobs out loud, clearly heartbroken.

Hearst radio: Piz has two guests — a conservatively dressed girl who wants to turn one of the Greek houses into a residence for devoutly Christian students and is complaining that the dean dismissed her out of hand in a way he would not have done had she been lobbying for African American or gay students, and a guy dressed in combat fatigues. They are all surprised at the arrival of the dean, who peremptorily announces that as one of the trustees who voted to end the Greek system had a conflict of interest, and that his vote has been discounted. The dean has the casting vote and votes to retain the Greek system.

Hearst campus: The Pi Sigs are celebrating their reprieve, driving around campus in a souped-up SUV in parody of the Lilith House parade. Dean O'Dell watches bemusedly before continuing his drive to the car park. As he gets near, Fern steps out from behind a parked vehicle, forcing him to stop. She throws an egg at the car, triggering other girls gathered around to do the same. They close in on the car, shouting things like "Rapist" and "Traitor," and telling him that he won't get away with it.

Dean O'Dell's office: The dean enters his office, and Cora tells him that she tried to stop the man who's waiting for him, but when the dean sees that it's Keith, he invites him in. Keith tells him that there's nothing to worry about — Wally is gay, and Mindy was alone in her hotel room all night. The secretary enters with a copy of the Hearst Free Press, pointing out a classified ad from the rapist, warning the student body that he's going to choose his next victim at the Pi Sig party. Keith looks concerned.

Hearst campus: Veronica walks across campus, until Parker calls to her from a Take Back The Night stand. Parker shows Veronica a newspaper that claims that the rapist will choose his next victim at the Pi Sig party. Parker points out that the rapist is getting cocky, and Veronica suggests it could be Nish trying to scare girls away. Parker informs her that the plan isn't working, if that's the case, as they probably had over a hundred girls stop by to pick up a drink-testing coaster. Parker explains that if you put a drop of drink on the coaster, it'll turn red if there is any rohypnol or GHB in it. Veronica asks to take a bunch, and Parker points out that you can test up to ten drinks per coaster. She also gives her a rape whistle. Veronica asks if Parker really thinks that people would come running if they heard the whistle. Parker shrugs, and Veronica tells Parker she has more faith in humankind than she does.

Dean O'Dell's office: The dean is looking at a coaster, asking what it does, and Veronica tells him that it turns red if there's a date rape drug in the drink. Veronica suggests that he require the Pi Sigs make them available at the party, and the dean agrees, asking Cora to find Chip Diller. She also tells him that she poked around at the newspaper office, trying to find out how the ad made it into the paper, and that she figures the ad was changed at the printer. Dean O'Dell compliments her, calling her a credit to the college, and Veronica comments on his good mood, given recent events. The dean tells her that his wife's getting back into town from her trip to Sacramento and he's got something special planned. Veronica's face falls.

Professor Landry's lecture: Professor Landry says he had an enlightening weekend reading their perfect murder papers. He jokes that he's scared to be in front of them today, after a good half-dozen students killed him. He also mentions people got rid of ex-boy/girlfriends and the local sheriff. Veronica looks slightly guilty, having obviously killed Lamb. Tim hands the papers out, as Landry says that the results fell into a bell curve, and he'll be posting the three A papers onto the website. Veronica gets her paper back to find she got an A, along with a note from Tim asking to see her.

Tim Foyle's office: Veronica knocks on the door but finds Tim isn't there. She uses the time she waits to look over his rape investigation board. She finds a picture of the Pi Sigs, and Dick, Chip and another frat boy are all ringed. Tim arrives back and Veronica asks about the circles. Tim doesn't want to tell her because he wants the credit from Landry when he solves it. Veronica points out that she thought they were trying to protect girls. Tim asks her to share her theories, and she goes silent. He then brings up her paper, and Veronica looks nervous. He asks if she can correct the syntax and bookmarking errors before he posts it on the website, and she looks relieved. Just then, a girl steps in, and Tim introduces her to his girlfriend. It's Bonnie, the girl making her way through the frat boys, including Dick.

Mars apartment: Veronica is eating soup when Keith comes in and gives her a hard time about soup as a meal. She asks about the case he took in Sacramento, and when he tells her that it was good news, she informs him that Mindy is cheating on the dean with Dr. Landry, that she knew about the investigation because of Dean O'Dell's comment about his wife getting back from Sacramento, and that she knew about the affair because she ran into Mindy and Landry at the Neptune Grand. Veronica gives Keith a few more details, including Landry's pseudonym, Rory Finch, and asks if he's going to tell Dean O'Dell. Keith says he has to.

Hearst dorms: Moe is trying to find out which dorm resident is consistently failing to flush the toilet in a particular stall, leaving a daily surprise for others. He is in Wallace and Piz's room, asking if one of them is the culprit. Wallace denies it, as does Piz, but not before teasing Moe. Veronica enters, very upbeat, asking them if they are going to the Pi Sig party. She is pleased to learn that they are and tells Wallace and Piz that she needs their help. Moe confirms that he too will be there, sort of, as he is on duty for the Safe Ride Home carts. Veronica demands his phone, which he hands over without question. She plugs in her number and tells him to call her if he sees any girls beyond drunk or any shady men.

Hearst dorms: Mac isn't impressed with Veronica's request to go to the Pi Sig party. She voices her disgust, and Veronica pleads. Mac still looks unconvinced, so Veronica drops to her knees, her hands clasped together. Mac gives in. Veronica smiles.

Hearst college: The dean thanks Cora for working on a Saturday as he sets to leave the office. He gets as far as the hallway when he sees Keith. Dean O'Dell can tell from the look on Keith's face that the news is bad. Moments later in his office, Keith lays out the evidence of Landry's calls and credit card bills. He explains about the arrangements at the Neptune Grand, made under the name of Rory Finch. The dean is very shaken, saying that the nights Mindy and Landry meet coincide with her Junior League meetings.

Pi Sigma party: The party is in full swing when they arrive. Veronica hands Wallace, Mac and Piz the coasters and tells them to do their own thing at the party, but if they see a girl that looks out of it, test her drink. Wallace asks if he can dance with people, and Veronica says he can, but he should know his libido caused someone to get raped. Wallace grouses at her, and Veronica points out if they give her a hard time, she's less likely to not give them the thank you presents she spent the afternoon making for them. She then hands them an ID card, each proclaiming them to be twenty-one. Piz excitedly says he can buy a beer cup. The guy at the entrance table, Drew Barndale, the same guy Veronica poured her drink over in "The Rapes of Graff," greets Veronica as his favorite drink tosser and sarcastically tells her he's glad she came to Hearst. He gives them an option of a beer cup or a soda cup, as they have to buy one or the other to get in. Piz gets a beer cup and Mac a soda cup, saying she's not going to drink at the party when Piz looks at her quizzically. Veronica spots the drink testing coasters on the table and examines them. She angrily asks where Chip Diller is. Drew unenthusiastically points to inside and tells her not to get raped.

Party: Veronica storms through a party and finds Chip talking to a girl. She holds up the coaster she got from Parker, and the one from the Pi Sigs and asks him to spot the difference. The one from Parker has been printed on both sides with the name of the drug testing manufacturer on it, and the Pi Sigs' has only been printed on one side. She points out one tests for date rape drugs and the other tests to see if drinks are wet. Chip says she doesn't know that and suggests she finds a laced drink to test. Veronica drops the real coaster into the girl's cup that Chip was flirting with. She tells her if it turns red, he's trying to rape her and if it doesn't — he still might be trying. She asks him how he lives with himself, and he tells her it's a struggle, but he manages.

Party: Out in the back of the fraternity, the Neil Diamond tribute band, the Diamond Smugglers, are performing. Piz and Wallace watch over the party. Piz suggests it's like a normal party, but instead of trying to avoid the drunk girls that will puke in your car, they're trying to find them. Wallace spots a girl looking almost passed out on a guy as they dance. Piz goes and dances crazily in front of them to keep the guy's attention as Wallace checks the girl's drink. Wallace finds it to be clear and gives Piz an incredulous look at his dancing, gesturing that he can stop.

Party: Inside, Bonnie is giggling on Dick's lap. Veronica dips a piece of coaster into Bonnie's drink before asking her where her boyfriend is, Bonnie responds that she's not wearing a ring. Dick mocks Veronica's boyfriendless state. Veronica tells them that they remind her of a couple of Petri dishes and that her advice is that they use lots of protection. Bonnie nods happily, missing the sarcasm.

Party: Mac stands watching the band, looking unhappy, wearing a shirt that says ‘Ask me about my STD.' A guy comes up and laughs at her t-shirt. He offers her some whiskey to add to her cola. Mac agrees, and he pours some in. She tests the drink, finds it safe and then throws the whole drink into some bushes. She thanks him, and he nods, before walking away confused.

Dean O'Dell's office: The dean is hosting his own pity party and getting drunk under Keith's watchful eye. Keith can't tell him what induces a man to sleep with the wife of another, save a lack of honor. After confirming that Dean O'Dell plans to stay in his office over night, Keith goes to pour him another scotch. O'Dell cries out to stop Keith opening a cherished forty-year-old bottle of Glencracken. Anticipating drinking it is one of the chief joys of his existence and for tonight, he'll stick with the swill.

Party: Wallace and Piz find a girl passed out on the floor. Wallace asks a girl dancing nearby if she's her friend. She says she is, and Piz asks her if the girl's okay. She says they've already called the Safe Ride Home people, then points out Moe and Fern as they arrive. Moe asks Piz and Wallace for their help with the girl, as Fern storms through and heaves the girl onto her shoulder. Fern sarcastically says it's a nice way to take care of their friend. Moe apologizes for her, saying she's always like that.

Dean O'Dell's office: The dean gives all the appearance of being asleep/passed out on the couch. Keith leaves him. As soon as Keith is out of the door, Dean O'Dell rouses and goes to his desk. He unlocks one of his drawers and pulls out a revolver.

Party: Veronica continues to be vigilant as she comes down from upstairs at the fraternity. She pauses in surprise at seeing Tim arrive and follows him. Tim finds Bonnie and Dick on the couch and makes an emotional scene, screaming at her that he's known of her infidelity and that each time she's been with a knuckle-dragging frat boy, he's been with someone new too. He storms off and Bonnie tells Dick that it looks like she's single. They go back to making out. Veronica follows Tim to another room, where...

Party: Veronica spots Logan, standing next to Mercer, talking to two girls. Veronica freezes as Logan looks up. Their eyes lock. The two girls walk off, and Veronica walks over to him. Mercer says hello, and she says hey to Logan. He says it back as they continue to stare at each other. Mercer looks between them as Veronica gives Logan a small smile, which Logan returns. Mercer uncomfortably tells them to have fun and begins to step away. Veronica tells him he doesn't have to go, she was just saying hi. Mercer points out his show is on after the band. Logan asks if she's there because of the investigation, and Veronica replies that she is what she is. Just then, Piz and Wallace arrive to say they've found a cup with a positive match for a drug. Wallace says it belonged to Kim Kaiser. Veronica asks where she is, and Piz says they asked around and no one knows, but someone told them she lived off-campus by the marina. Veronica asks whose car is nearest, and Logan says his is, but she has to stay. She begins to argue, and he pleads with her. She agrees he should go and tells him to be careful. Wallace says he'll go with him.

Party: The Diamond Smugglers finish their set and Veronica grabs the microphone. She announces that Kim's drink has been drugged and asks if anybody can help find her or knows her, to come see Veronica who will wait at the front of the stage.

Neptune Grand: Dr. Landry lounges back in the bed, watching Mindy complete her dressing. Landry wants her to stay. Mindy says that he's always stoned when they meet. They kiss. There's a knock at the door. Mindy opens it and is shocked to see the dean. He asks to come in and pushes past her.

Party: Veronica stands impatiently by the front of the stage until a girl walks up to her. She tells Veronica that Kim didn't come to the party, but her little sister Carrie used her ID. Veronica asks where Carrie is, and her friend said that Carrie wasn't feeling well and left to go back to her dorm at Benes Hall. Veronica begins to walk away, as Mercer's voice over the radio says they're going to their first caller. Just then, the tape warps and Veronica freezes. She turns back to look at the stage, a look of realization on her face.

Sheriff's department: A rookie deputy tells Sacks that a bomb threat has been called in for one of the residence halls. Sacks says it's probably a prank, frequent at this time, and to let the Hearst police handle it. The rookie isn't so sure, but doesn't want to be the one to wake up Lamb to check with him.

Hearst Dorms: Mercer walks into a darkened room and turns a lamp on. Someone is lying in the bed. He glances in disgust at the unicorns decorating her shelves. He says they need some mood music, and puts the radio on which is playing Fatboy Slim's "Right Here, Right Now." He takes his jacket off while talking about the music and sits down on the bed. He tells the unconscious girl it's unfortunate that the only thing she'll know about the night is that her hair's gone. He tells her it will be good, her best ever. He tells her he has no patience. If he met her at a bar or party, he'd have her in her room and on her back within an hour, but it's an hour of his life he wouldn't get back, and an hour of her life he'd have to listen to her talk about unicorns and her high school boyfriend. Mercer tells her he's just taking what she'd have happily given later, when he hears a thump coming from the closet. He opens it and sees Carrie lying there, just as Veronica runs up and tasers him. She runs towards the door, until he grabs her and brings her crashing to the ground, thumping her head. He drags her across the floor as she screams for help. He yanks her to her feet by her hair, and tells her no one invited her. He asks what he's going to do with her, and she viciously scratches him down his face. He grabs her as she tries to run and punches her. She crawls under the bed as he goes to check the damage in a mirror. He says he's going to fix her hair. She grabs hold of a unicorn under the bed, and as he grabs her ankle and pulls her out, she twists and stabs him in the leg. As he's distracted, she runs out the room, and falls into the wall. She runs along the corridor (as in her first scene of the episode). She reaches Wallace and Piz's room, knocks on the door then sinks to the ground. Someone comes to stand next to her, and she looks up to find Moe looking at her in concern. He asks if she's okay and she tells him that Mercer's the rapist, and his mouth drops open in shock.

Hearst Dorms: Veronica sits in Moe's room, drinking some tea and wincing in pain. Moe is making a phone call to the police, asking them to get there as soon as possible, as there has been an attempted rape and the rapist may still be in the room. He hangs up, and Veronica points out that Carrie's still in the room, so they can't wait. Moe puts his phone on the desk and assures her he'll get some guys together and go down to her room. He tells her to wait for him in his room, she'll be safe. He walks out the room as Veronica looks up and spots a photo on the notice board. She stands up and looks closer as the room begins to spin. It's of Mercer and Moe — Mercer dressed in a guard's uniform and Moe in a prisoner's. The room continues to flash as Veronica looks at it in dawning horror. She shakes her head and steps back, the mug of tea falling out of her hand and smashing on the floor. She checks the door to find it's locked, and she staggers over to the window, clearly having trouble walking. She opens the windows wide and looks down to find it's a long drop to the concrete beneath. Having grabbed Moe's phone, Veronica gets into the closet and with difficulty phones Keith. His answering machine picks up as she looks up and pulls down a hammer. As her arm moves back, hair drops down on her from the previous rape victims. She hears Mercer and Moe come back into the room, Mercer complaining that she was supposed to be there. Moe protests that she was. They look out the window and close it. Moe apologizes, as Mercer backhands him across the face. Just then, Veronica's phone rings and they both look towards the closet. Veronica answers, asking her dad for help. Mercer and Moe open the door, and Mercer commands Moe to get the phone. As he steps forward, Veronica swings the hammer down onto his foot. He screams in pain as Mercer drags Veronica out of the closet. He tells Moe to shut up, and Moe begins to get scared, shouting they're going to get caught. Mercer backhands him again, telling him to shut up. He asks Moe to get all his GHB together, so Veronica won't remember anything. Mercer says he'll go to his room and get some, he has plenty. Just then, Veronica gets the rape whistle out of her pocket and begins to blow on it. They dive towards her.

Hearst Dorms: Two girls walk past Parker's room, talking and laughing until Parker opens her door and steps out, looking worried. Mercer goes back to his room and takes a vial out of a beer can. He limps back down the hallway, only to find Parker standing in the middle, her hands on her hips. He says hi, asking if it's Parker. She asks him if he's going somewhere. He says he is and begins to walk off, as Parker steps into his path, angrily asking where she is. He begins to protest as she steps back and screams "rape" at the top of her lungs over and over. The hallway fills as guys come out of their dorm, including Moe. They ask what's going on, as Parker backs away crying. One of them nearest Parker asks who blew the whistle, as Moe asks Mercer what they should do. The same guy asks Mercer what happened to his leg, and Mercer says his pet cougar did it. Mercer tries to get them to leave and tells Moe to shut up and go in his room. Parker stares at him in hatred. Another guy asks Moe if he's got someone in his room. Mercer tells them that Parker's a psycho, and they're all falling for it and leaves. Moe runs after him, shouting his name. Someone asks Parker if she's okay, as she walks over to Moe's room and opens the door. She sees Veronica lying on the ground and gasps, dropping down next to her.

Dean O'Dell's office: Dean O'Dell is back in his office, asleep on the couch. He is awakened by the sound of eggs hitting one of his windows. He stands and gazes at the goo sliding down the window. Someone enters from the outer office. A little testily, he asks what the person is doing there.

Sheriff's office: Keith bitterly tells Sacks that it is procedure to take bomb threats seriously and evacuate. Sacks apologizes. Keith collects Veronica, still out of it but somewhat coherent. Sacks wants them to wait as Lamb in on his way in and wants to talk to Veronica. Keith ignores him, gathering his daughter in his arms and leading her out. Veronica groggily tells Keith that Moe took his phone with him and won't be smart enough to turn it off, so Keith can find them.

Motel: Mercer, with his trousers pulled down, steels himself before nodding to Moe. Moe applies a pair of pliers to the wound and pulls out the unicorn horn. Mercer screams. The door bursts open and Keith enters, his gun pointed at them. He calmly suggests that they don't give him any further reason to shoot them.

Mars' Apartment: Veronica sits on the sofa looking bruised, as Wallace, Mac and Piz all sit looking at her. Veronica explains that Moe was the set-up man, the one who dosed the victims then called Mercer with the room number and key. She tells them that Moe was the one who shaved her hair in the parking lot, probably not to rape her, but to provide an alibi for Mercer. Wallace asks what the Pi Sigs have to do with it, and Veronica tells them they did nothing, just provided nights of drunken girls and a convenient scapegoat. Mac then asks her if Logan has been by, and Veronica shakes her head, telling them she hasn't seen him.

Diner: Two police officers sit by a window in a diner, their police car parked outside. Logan pulls up, gets out the car, casually looking over to check that they're watching and begins to smash up the windscreen with a baseball bat. The officers jump up.

Sheriff's department: Mercer and Moe lay in the police cell, on the beds. A shadow falls over them as someone approaches the cell door and opens it. A figure steps through, flexing his hand as the deputy walks away. Mercer looks up to find Logan staring at him with an angry expression. Mercer looks scared.

Dean O'Dell's Office: Weevil manages to get the door open despite carrying a large box. He smiles, having the promised high definition equipment, but the smile turns to an expression of shock when he sees the dean, slumped at his desk with a bullet hole in his temple.

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