3.08 "Lord of the Pi's"
Aired Nov 21, 2000
Grim Squeaker solves the rape mystery! Again!
grim squeaker: I solved the rape mystery! Again!
Inigo: So, you've solved it! Again!
grim squeaker: Yes! Well, I found another part of the puzzle, and boy, this is sick! And let me tell you, if I'm wrong and they are really only going with Moe and Mercer working as a tag team, I'll use this as a plot for a novel, because it is awesome! Do you know why Mercer doesn't remember the nights of the rapes?
Inigo: Why doesn't he?
grim squeaker: Because Moe drugs him; that is, I suspect he drugs the prescription we saw in the drawer with the clippers. Remember, Moe can get into that room pretty easily.
Inigo: Okay, I'm with you so far. But how does Mercer broadcast if he's drugged?
grim squeaker: He does not, or he only broadcasts a bit. I'm assuming it's all a tape. We suspected before that Moe can estimate the dosage he needs somehow; otherwise he wouldn't have been able to drug Teri so precisely. I also think that he gets Mercer back in his room afterwards, because I suspect Mercer would remember if he had woken up in the studio the next morning — as would other people.
Inigo: Why does Moe drug him? What is he hoping to achieve?
grim squeaker: He wants to set him up as the rapist. He only rapes these girls to set up Mercer. I think this is where that wretched sociology experiment comes in, because I'm guessing they were indeed both in there — only that Moe is "Rafe," and Mercer "Logan." I'm guessing Mercer was snotty as per usual, that Moe took it very personally, that the guards lost, and that Moe has simply decided to teach Mercer a lesson - which is a rather elaborate one, since Moe is psycho. I also think he originally only planned to set him up for one rape, but then Dawn didn't report it. And the second time Troy and Veronica got in between...
Inigo: Nancy's? Mercer wasn't even in the country. Also, I'm still struggling with how either Mercer could have broadcast while drugged or how Moe slips in to set up a tape of Mercer on a radio call-in request show.
grim squeaker: Nancy wasn't raped, because Nancy is a Lilith girl. We know that because she went into the boo-room dressed up as a rat trap with Claire. And Moe can slip into the studio pretty easily with a tape, because we saw at the end of Piz's show that by that time the food court is closed and empty. And call-in request shows get taped, it happens.
Inigo: Yes, they can be taped, although to avoid calls or complaints to the station which would surely be logged, there would need to be a taped announcement at the start and throughout saying that it's a taped show and don't call in.
grim squeaker: On the other hand, this is college radio. And it could be very possible that Mercer has these tapes in some capacity.
Inigo: Yes, good point on Mercer having the tapes, though. I like the basic theory. I think some of the details would need honing. I'm not convinced Nancy's rape was faked.
grim squeaker: What makes you think Nancy's rape wasn't faked? She is actually the only possibility that still could be faked.
Inigo: Claire's rape was opportune, brought on by The Lampoon's reaction to the demonstration. There's nothing about Nancy's rape to suggest the same thing. Also, being in the summer, before college started, it doesn't have the same impact. Nancy was certainly with the Lilith House girls after her rape, but we don't know that she was one of them before.
grim squeaker: But she organized the rally, and her main topic was the closure of the fraternity houses. I think Stacy's rape gave the feminists the idea. Why they continued after Parker had been raped is kind of beyond me, but I don't claim to understand their logic in any way. And having it be in the summer makes the rape stand out a lot, as does the fact that it is not a girl Veronica is involved with in some capacity, or a girl who has kept silent, like Dawn.
Inigo: Whoa, whoa. No, I've lost the sense here. Dawn was raped in February and kept silent. Stacy was raped in March and reported it, at which time Veronica cleared Troy and found Dawn.
grim squeaker: Yes, and the problem is...?
Inigo: We don't know of any Lilith House activity until the Take Back the Night Rally in October, after Nancy was raped in August.
grim squeaker: We do, actually. There were girls who were giving Stacy pamphlets.
Inigo: Giving a pamphlet to a girl who's been raped isn't the mark of a radical feminist organisation. It's what would happen in any college. Why would the Lilith House girls care a fig about Veronica, or even know of her. From Stacy's point of view, Veronica did a good thing - finding Dawn, finding out where the hair came from, giving her the opportunity to throw it back in the Pi Sigs face.
grim squeaker: Maybe the fact that Veronica investigated the Pi Sigs and the fact that Stacy humiliated Gordon with the hair made the Liliths come up with the idea. The Liliths don't care about Veronica.
Inigo: In August, very few people are at the university. Very few would even know about Nancy's rape. How does that make the rape stand out?
grim squeaker: I was thinking how the summer rape stands out for the VIEWERS.
Inigo: Okay, I understand that, but why would Nancy and Lilith House fake a rape in August, when there's no one around?
grim squeaker: For me, as a viewer, the summer rape stands out. Because it was in the holidays. Because it's Mercer's only really solid alibi, the only alibi he actually remembers. Because the victim was a Lilith girl, or at least a feminist - the same who we just learned faked probably not one, but several rapes, and they wouldn't tell Veronica which rapes. I'm guessing they faked it in August because of the holidays. I cannot really say. My logical chain is really, she's a Lilith, she faked it.
Inigo: We don't know if Lilith first, "rape" victim second or rape victim first, Liltih second.
grim squeaker: And they must have faked at least one other rape, because they all seemed to be feeling pretty guilty about what Veronica said. And that can only have been Nancy's. Because Dawn kept quiet, because with Stacy, there was the whole Troy stuff and I doubt that Parker faked it.
Inigo: I thought they were feeling guilty, Fern and Claire at least, over the rape of Chip and the faked rape of Claire.
grim squeaker: No, they jumped on Veronica speaking about faking multiple rapes.
Inigo: That wasn't my impression.
grim squeaker: But it makes sense! Why on earth should they even bring this up when it wasn't Nancy's rape that has been faked?
Inigo: Because Claire's had been, and it would have been stupid of Veronica, and us, not to suggest that the others were too, motivated by the desire to get the Pi Sigs and the Theta Betas, their true targets.
grim squeaker: But in connection with this being a mystery, how would this be worthwhile information, if there wasn't at least one other rape that was faked? And given that Veronica discovered Dawn, Veronica investigated Stacy because of Troy, and Veronica investigates Parker, how can it be anyone but Nancy?
Inigo: I'm not following your leap that the question of whether they faked all the rapes, the question Veronica put to them on the grounds of the lack of DNA and hair evidence, means that they faked more rapes than Claire's. You are not suggesting they faked Dawn's, Stacy's and Parker's. Veronica is. The audience should be. That was the purpose of the question, not, in my view or for any reason I can see, to indicate they faked Nancy's. They might have, although I can't see their rationale at this point, but I don't see that one leads inexorably to the other.
grim squeaker: My point is, that we only have one more episode left to solve the mystery, so in one way or the other, this is a clue. Either it means all the rapes are faked - which we know they weren't, because faking it includes the participation of the "victim" - the feminists wouldn't have drugged and raped Stacy or Parker. Or it means that something we thought was secure before isn't, and the only thing that might be relevant here is Mercer's Tijuana alibi, because, again, it's the only one he remembers, and the only one he actually has a solid witness for. So, if Nancy hasn't been raped, Mercer's TJ alibi is for naught. That would either mean Veronica starts suspecting him again, because she was already quite hellbent on proving he did it - because she thinks he is an issue between her and Logan - or it means that he effectively is the culprit, and she'll notice the connection very late.
Inigo: Okay, I like this as a structural argument, that it brings Veronica back to Mercer because Nancy's rape, the one he has the best alibi for, was faked. But, and it's a big but and it's a but that recognises my disappointment with the resolution of S2, it has to make sense storywise too, so I'd have to see that there was some logic in the feminist's minds for faking Nancy's rape in August. Right now, I can't see that logic.
grim squeaker: I don't know, it doesn't seem such a big obstacle to me. I could live with them simply having to work up the nerve, or something. Also consider that is relatively easy for Veronica to figure this out. All she has to do is ask Nancy, who seemed rather mellow compared to the other Lilith girls.
Inigo: Which is another reason why I don't...or at least didn't...think her rape was faked.
grim squeaker: There is something else I remember that played into my rationale: Lamb said that GHB was used on two of the victims. I'm pretty sure they couldn't determine what was used on Dawn since she reported it too late, but they could have determined it in Stacy's and Parker's case. Both drugged with GHB, a drug that Mercer had in his cashbox, on a night that he had his show and that he doesn't remember.
Inigo: Yes. That is a good case for saying Nancy's rape was faked, that it would seem she was the one in respect of whom the use of GHB couldn't be determined.
grim squeaker: Exactly. I do like my theory. Does that make me a sick, sad person?
Inigo: No. Or if it does, then every mystery fan is a sick, sad person.
grim squeaker: If they are going this road, I will admit that they crafted an excellent mystery.
Inigo: I like parts of your theory. Liking it more and more as I think about it, but I need to fill in some holes.
grim squeaker: And frankly, I have no clue how Veronica should solve this, because to prove any of this seems nearly impossible.
Inigo: Plan the Perfect Rape. I wonder if Moe did Intro to Criminology?
grim squeaker: Maybe. Isn't it rather, plan the perfect set up?
Inigo: Well, perfect set up and perfect rape. Both have to be.
grim squeaker: Yes, true. I was just wondering what came first, and I'm assuming it was the set up - or rather, the revenge, or whatever - as that seems to make more sense than raping someone and then randomly decide to blame the annoying 09er for it. And I do think it got out of hand, a little.
Inigo: That's putting it mildly. Maybe he enjoyed it so much the first time that he continued because he wanted to and because his aim was still unachieved, that is getting Mercer blamed for it.
grim squeaker: Yes, true, which gets me back to the idea that for Moe, this is really about control. I mean, by now Moe must spend more time drugging Mercer, dragging him around and borrowing his clippers than he spends on sipping Oolong and listening to Mozart.
Inigo: I do still have problems with the planting of the GHB.
grim squeaker: Yes, the fragging GHB. I don't know, maybe Mercer writes the combination down in his platitude-a-day-calendar?
Inigo: Well, also the timing of the planting, so convenient in the light of a completely unpredictable robbery.
grim squeaker: I think that's really not such a huge part, though. That easily could be an accident. And he really could have decided to tell someone about the GHB, say, let it slip to O'Dell if he actually is his student aide, or something. Oh, and did I mention that I think Moe used the cologne on purpose, so that Parker would remember it?
Inigo: But if he planted it, it had to have been with a view to it being discovered by someone other than Mercer, and that is problematic. It is pure serendipity that it ended up in Lamb's hands. It bothers me as an action that has meaning. You did mention the cologne before, yes.
grim squeaker: I think that way around it would work, actually, Parker giving the suspicion, leading to a deeper investigation. He even might have figured Veronica in by that time - and I do think we can be quite sure that Moe does have Veronica on his radar. Especially if he was originally meant to be Dean.
Inigo: Absolutely if he was meant to be Dean.
grim squeaker: So, I'm guessing he might somewhat rely on her curiosity. I don't know if her animosity of Mercer is really well-known, but it would certainly helpful if he knew about it.
Inigo: See, this is where I start losing it. It smacks too much of Moe being a scriptwriter, controlling or relying too much on what he predicts others can or will do.
grim squeaker: Or maybe that's just me giving him access to stuff. *shrugs* Let's put it that way, I do think they are giving out hints equally that it might be Moe - who has all the equipment, but a solid alibi - or Mercer, whom they've painted suspicious as hell, and here's the important part, mostly because Veronica sees him that way. I don't believe that the solution is the two of them working together, because that would copy Rafe/Horshack too much, and frankly, I see neither of these two characters - Moe and Mercer - as a Horshack, but if Mercer didn't orchestrate the attack on Veronica, and if that wasn't the feminists - and I doubt that - his alibi for that point is pretty solid.
Inigo: When it comes down to it, I don't have a better theory, so I'll hang on to your coat tails, although I may tug at them occasionally.
Meanwhile, back in the lab...
Inigo: Grim's latest theory is twisted but cool. Want to hear it?
Inigo: Okay, here we go. The rapist is Moe, the motive is revenge against Mercer and the aim is to set him up as the rapist. Nancy's rape, the only one Mercer has a solid alibi for, was staged, like Claire's, because she is a Lilith House girl. The motive stems from Kinny's experiment, where Moe was like Rafe, a guard, and Mercer was like Logan (not Horshack). The guards lost and Moe felt humiliated by Mercer. The reason Mercer doesn't remember the nights of the rape is because Moe has doctored his medication (pill bottle in same drawer as clippers) and he was passed out on those nights. Moe used tapes of the show Mercer has to cover the radio show.
misskiwi: Okay, let's start at the top. If Moe aimed to set up Mercer, you have to assume that the robbery and the cops ending up with the GHB was a coincidence and Moe had intended to call the cops himself. And Parker pointing Veronica (and then Lamb) in that direction was also a coincidence. That's one coincidence too many, in my opinion.
Inigo: I too have a problem with the GHB being planted, although I think there may be another answer, which doesn't affect the integrity of the basic argument. It is simply this: Mercer lied about the GHB. He's a party boy. He frequents Mexico. He lied because he knows enough about Veronica from Logan to know that she can help him, but won't if she thinks he's into drugs.
misskiwi: Okay, but without the GHB, the "setup" does not exist as it was pure chance that led Parker and Veronica to suspect Mercer. So setting up Mercer isn't a good motive.
grim squeaker: I'm almost willing to admit that Mercer lied about the GHB, except: how on earth did Moe plan to set him up then? I mean with what?
misskiwi: He didn't. Occam's Razor.
Inigo: On the cologne, it's not a conscious planting of Parker and Mercer and cologne. As part of acting as "Mercer the rapist," Moe used Mercer's cologne, Mercer's clippers, maybe even Mercer's clothes. He has easy access to the room. Moe isn't/wasn't doing it so Veronica would discover it. He started this long before he knew of Veronica. He's doing it as if he was Mercer and, when, finally, Mercer is "caught," all the evidence will point to him. I think it stands up on that reading.
grim squeaker: Oooh. Sick. I like it.
misskiwi: Well, it stands up, but I think more due to lack of contradicting evidence than any clues pointing in that direction. For point number two, I think Mercer's alibi for Stacy's and Parker's rapes is solid. I don't think anyone except Mercer himself could play a taped version of his show, and we've been told that even that is impossible. Or at least, extremely unlikely. I think when he said he didn't remember the nights of the rapes, it was more of a "I can't remember what specifically I was doing on those nights" than a "Those nights are a total blank."
Inigo: At the time Mercer broadcasts, the Food Court is closed for business. There isn't an audience to see who the DJ is or whether there is a DJ there or not. When you look at the log, there is space for whether other staff are needed. In Mercer's case it says no. So Moe could turn up and run the tape. All he needed to do was start it saying that it was a repeat.
misskiwi: True, I just think it's unlikely. I think there would be incoming and outgoing DJs who would notice if Mercer wasn't there, much like Mercer and Piz crossed paths when Piz and Veronica were there.
Inigo: But as far as we know, nobody's checked that. In fact, for March, he was the last. For Sept, he was meant to be. They stop broadcasting at midnight.
misskiwi: Ah, but if he was the last one, then someone would presumably have to shut down the station. Which is hard to do if you're running a tape. So you'd have to make it back in time, which, considering Veronica was in the room at around 11:45, might be a tight squeeze.
Inigo: As for his forgetting, he broadcasts every Friday and Saturday night. It is odd that he can't tell Lamb that.
misskiwi: But if someone asked you what you were doing the night of September 14th, and you didn't think to ask (or remember) what night of the week that was, it might not click.
Inigo: True. Though careless on the part of Mercer, Mercer's lawyer and Lamb.
misskiwi: Yes. But I think that was in service of the plot, rather than a clue. Okay, back to the theory: if Moe was in the Kinny experiment, I see him in the Horshack role, myself, not as a guard who got one-upped. But that's just my impression; I don't have anything to justify it.
Inigo: I'm not sure where he was in the Kinny experiment. I initially had him down as a Horshack too, but grim's persuaded me that it was more likely that he was a guard.
misskiwi: And I can accept that, but if it drove him to become a serial rapist I think it was a power trip of some sort, not because he lost.
Inigo: I like the fact that it's twisted. He's now exercising the control he failed to exercise in that experiment. I think him losing is necessary to give him the motivation to blame someone for it.
misskiwi: Ah, but I don't subscribe to the theory that he's trying to set someone up. And that could work for him as a prisoner, too.
Inigo: Whether it was Mercer, Nish or anyone else, something happened there that made him want to hurt people, humiliate, whether there was a set up or not.
misskiwi: Yes, I agree. Do you realize how completely embarrassing this is going to be if it's NOT Moe? We've pretty much discarded everyone else for weeks.
Inigo: I know, but such is the nature of spec. You try and keep an open mind...
misskiwi: Or, you know, not.
Inigo: I'd be delighted if it wasn't, so long as it was believable.
misskiwi: And I'll be delighted if, for the first time in three seasons, I've been able to guess something right.
Inigo: Hey, I've been stuck on Moe since 301 and the "What the frak" on Parker's door.
misskiwi: Shoot, I've got to run back up to the lab. We'll have to pick this up in a bit.
Inigo: You know I have Frankenstein visions of you.
misskiwi: Mrreaahhhh *flails arms*
Sheep cloning break
misskiwi: The cloned sheep aren't running loose anymore and I've got a bit of free time before I have to head for home.
Inigo: Well, one thing we debated was that grim strongly felt that the scene at Claire's meant that Nancy's rape was also faked. I didn't get that. However, it weakens the basic theory if this isn't true, because Moe would have known Mercer wasn't around that night.
misskiwi: I'm on the fence on the veracity of Nancy...I think that comment of Veronica's was probably thrown into the mix just to make us wonder if the feminists were responsible for more rapes. I can't see them (the writers) faking more than one, since it sort of invalidates the idea that there's a *serial* rapist. There would still be three valid rapes, but still.
Inigo: Yes, I didn't read the scene that way either. Grim felt that there was no reason for the thought, that they'd faked the rapes, unless there was at least one other that was faked. I thought it was there because it leads naturally from the one and Veronica (and the audience) would be stupid not to think that it was possible.
misskiwi: Yes, it's basically a comment meant to lead us to a red herring — that the feminists are responsible for some or all of the rapes.
Inigo: Also, I don't think we can say that just because Nancy is a Lilith girl in September, that she was one in August, or that because she is a Lilith girl, she would fake a rape. I got the impression that Claire's rape was cooked up between her, Fern and Nish, with Nish the leader, and that it was opportune because of the Lampoon article.
misskiwi: I retroactively resent that Fern and Nish were in on that, by the way. Their outrage seemed real.
Inigo: It did, but they were performing, performing well. It explains the timing and everything.
misskiwi: *grumble* And I agree with you on Nancy. Also, Parker protested with the Lilith girls after her rape -- there's no reason Nancy couldn't be the same.
Inigo: Yes, I think Nancy's could have been faked, but I'm not convinced. But it does of course harm the basis theory that the rapes are aimed at Mercer. Unless, for some reason, Moe either just wanted to do that one or thought Mercer would be around.
misskiwi: ...Wait, not necessarily. If someone set Mercer up, they may not have known if he had an alibi for any or all of the rapes, so whether or not Nancy's was real doesn't necessarily come into play.
Inigo: Well, it does if Moe drugs Mercer on the nights he rapes, so Mercer won't have an alibi. I think there's a lot of merit in this. That pill bottle was very accessible to Moe.
misskiwi: Was the pill bottle just there, or did Veronica, like, pick it up and look at it?
Inigo: It was just there, lying next to the clippers. The implication at the time, no doubt meant to be that it's what Mercer used to drug people.
misskiwi: I don't know, that seems pretty random.
Inigo: Well, how random is it that they were there at all? They were under some clothes, just like the clippers, not plainly in sight.
misskiwi: ...The props department wanted something other than boxer shorts to fill drawers?
Inigo: Maybe. But...I think not.
misskiwi: Aha! I have a hole in your theory. So, you're Moe, and you want to set up Mercer, drugging him and faking his radio show so he has no memory of those nights. Why would you purposely pick times when you would have to fake his radio show? Not only is it way more work for you and increases the risk that you'll get caught, you're giving Mercer an alibi that would take a lot of digging to be able to invalidate. Do it on a Wednesday night, or before or after his radio show is on.
Inigo: That's a problem. Mercer is a party animal. He runs the casino and is constantly, outside the radio stint, surrounded by other people. During his radio show is the only time Moe knows there won't be others around, wondering why Mercer is knocked out.
misskiwi: But if you're drugging him hard enough that he has no memory of the entire night...won't said people notice that Mercer is completely MIA?
Inigo: No, because they expect he is on the radio, which he is. As far as they know, he is doing his show.
misskiwi: But, in order for Mercer to not remember the evening at all, the drugs would have to be in effect past his radio show. And people would probably notice. He probably goes back to the casino afterwards.
Inigo: I doubt it. He's not going to let others run it. And he's about the money. Opening for too short a period wouldn't be cost-effective.
misskiwi: So he shuts it down Friday and Saturday nights?
Inigo: Yep. Because there's too much competition with other campus events those nights...I'm making this up as I go along. I love spec!
misskiwi: Nice try, but wasn't Logan at the casino on a Friday night?
Inigo: Was it a Friday? I don't remember.
misskiwi: I think it was, but I'm not positive. I find it hard to believe he would close it entirely -- that's prime time. So either he shuts it down to go do his show -- in which case people would know when he would be back to open up -- or he leaves someone in charge -- in which case, they would find it odd if he was gone for too long.
Inigo: Hmm. Could be that he only does that show bi-weekly or something. I mean, you have to ask why he does it at all, as it eats into casino time.
misskiwi: Yeah, I have no idea. But I still think you're wrong. ;)
grim squeaker: I'd still say that I'm pretty grounded in the textual reality. I mean, there is at least reason to presume that Mercer might have been set up, there is reason to presume that if Moe was in the experiment, something similar happened than what happened in Wallace and Logan's experience, there is the fact that Mercer does not remember the nights, while Moe in turn has a perfect alibi based on a timestamp, etc. It gets much shiftier when I go into the terrain of food metaphors and the Imperial March.
grim squeaker: The solution to everything is pizza. Believe me. Funnily enough, I even see the fact that Moe doesn't want to swear as a possible hint that he sees himself as above other people. And it amuses me so much because he is such a sociologist/anthropologist. I mean, one of the earliest theories I had about the rapes was that someone was conducting an experiment, using a weak personality as the rapist, and trying to determine how the campus would react to certain impulses. You have to be at least acquainted with the social scientist's mind to come up with shit like that.
Inigo: Maybe it's all Dr. Kinny!
grim squeaker: I guess he simply sets their creative energy free.
Inigo: No, no. It's Kinny, with the botany professor providing the drugs! And Landry the "leave no trace" advice!
grim squeaker: Yeah, and the den mother of the Theta Beta's provides them with the keys to the rushee's rooms. Cool, this is just like The Faculty. Maybe they're all aliens.
Inigo: All masterminded by O'Dell, who has made a deal with one of the evil coporate companies!
grim squeaker: That's it! We solved it!
grim squeaker: So, the GHB: does he deal with it, does he use it himself, or is it Logan's?
Inigo: Mercer has GHB for recreational use.
grim squeaker: I would agree, except that I would think he would then notice if he is being drugged.
Inigo: Well, there's nothing to say that Moe knocks Mercer out with GHB.
grim squeaker: If he really uses more than one drug I'm beginning to wonder if Moe is a Sociology/Chemistry double major.
Inigo: Well, they are serving different purposes. Moe could simply have replaced Mercer's pills with sleeping pills.
grim squeaker: What did he use on Teri?
Inigo: Say he's got strong ones after his Kinny-trauma. Same sleeping pills on Teri, but half a pill. Or a quarter.
grim squeaker: I suspect it's easier to figure out the doses. Maybe he experimented a bit. Uhm. Yuck. On the other hand, it could be that Mercer simply isn't as perceptive to it because he normally only uses it recreationally, or not in connection with alcohol. But wouldn't that be too responsible for him?
Inigo: Yes. I get the feeling Mercer may be on a regular "happy."
grim squeaker: Eh, now I remember why I thought Mercer had been roofied, not just "put to sleep." Would sleeping pills really let you literally forget where you were the evening before? Not that it really changes much in the basic theory. It just means he swallowed GHB even more regularly than we - or he - thought.
grim squeaker: What?
Inigo: It's a good point. I'm thinking. And eating a sandwich.
grim squeaker: Ah. Btw, did you know roofies are sometimes used by robbers to keep calm? They are also more used on robbery victims than in date rapes, which is interesting. The things you learn from reading wikipedia.
Inigo: I did not know that.
grim squeaker: The things you are inspired to read from watching Veronica Mars! So, if my theory is right, Mercer is like the easiest set up guy ever. He is worse than Abel and Terrence combined.
grim squeaker: That's what I love about VM, their "Say No to Drugs" messages are always so persuasive. "Say no to drugs and binge drinking, or you might end up getting framed as a serial rapist by a psycho sociologist who's holding a grudge."
Inigo: Ha ha.
grim squeaker: Srsly.