2.22 "Not Pictured"

Aired May 09, 2006


  • Veronica: Posted today: Meg's dad offering twenty grand for the capture of Woody Goodman.

    Keith: Well, I'm sure someone'll get him.

    Veronica: Didn't you say something about "we have a business to run"? Shouldn't you be out hunting him down like the dog he is?

    Keith: I also said something about us being people with lives. See, I have this kid who's gonna graduate from high school, I don't want to miss it.

    Veronica: This is Woody Goodman. He blew up a bus and molested children.

    Keith: Guess I'm just sentimental.

  • Veronica: When the management gives you free cake, you're supposed to eat it. I thought you were prepared for Jackie going.

    Wallace: Never figured it'd go down like this.

    Veronica: She left you a note?

    Wallace: "But I was afraid if I saw you, I wouldn't be able get on the plane. I'll always..." Well, then it's just a bunch of private stuff. What can you do about that?

    Veronica: You could use a method time-tested by women throughout the ages: gorge on cake.

  • Vinnie: So, 'course you know about the bounty on this Goodman guy.

    Keith: I'm aware of it, yes.

    Vinnie: Twenty G's. That's big boy money. Gonna be a lot of top guys out there for it. I had a thought: we team up. Mars and Van Lowe, pool our resources, split the cash.

    Keith: Sheriff got you on video breaking into Woody's house.

    Vinnie: Johnny Law don't know what I got.

    Keith: Whatta you got?

    Vinnie: All his records. Tax, medical, corporate, the whole enchilada. We nail him, we split sixty-forty. I'm the sixty, by the way.

    Keith: Fifty-fifty. If the stuff you got pans out, and no action until after my daughter's graduation.

    Vinnie: I'm in jail! I deserve sixty. ...I risk my life to bring a fugitive to justice and you're giving me World's Tiniest Violin.

    Keith: Guess I'm just heartless.

  • Keith: Seasonal allergies, bad arches...and he had the clap. Hm. Treated twice for chlamydia. Didn't see that in his campaign material. Bingo: heart arrhythmia.

    Veronica: So that's our strategy? Just wait for him to drop dead?

    Keith: He has to take a pill every day. There any way you could find out Gia Goodman's cell phone access code?

    Veronica: Gia's cell?

    Keith: Woody's lawyer's also an old college buddy of his. If he'd call anyone, it'd be him. If we had Gia's code and could forward her calls...

    Veronica: I guarantee you she hasn't changed it from the factory default.

  • Keith: What? No comment? "Get a room," you just gagged in your mouth...?

    Veronica: No. It's nice.

    Lianne: Are you okay?

  • Veronica: So how's the Sheriff business?

    Keith: Pretty sweet. We got Otis sleeping it off in cell one and Lamb has to wear the Clete the Crime-Fighting Canine costume to all the elementary schools this week.

  • Dick: Guess who's going commando?

    Duncan: Must we?

  • Veronica: Anyone know...Wallace Fenn-el?

    Duncan: I do, he's in my P.E. class. Awesome baller. I think he works at Sac 'N' Pac.

    Veronica: Awesome baller...that doesn't really help me. Can you point him out?

    Dick: You didn't hear what happened to him? Sac 'N' Pac got held up when he was working. The robber forced him into the walk-in cooler, he got frostbite.

    Duncan: Yeah. Dude lost three fingers.

    Veronica: Oh my God, that's awful!

    [Duncan and Dick laugh]

    Logan: Aw sweetie, I love you, but you have to be the most gullible girl I've ever met.

    Veronica: I'm trusting. Sue me.

  • Wallace: So...looking forward to getting out of here?

    Veronica: I guess. I don't know. High school was a blast. Right?

    Wallace: Oh. You're one of those.

    Veronica: What's that supposed to mean?

    Wallace: Nothing. Have a good life. I'm sure you will.

  • Veronica: Tell me about everything! Tell me about this new guy, tell me about Vasser...

    Lilly: Guy is gone. There was a little disagreement about fooling around with his ex.

    Veronica: That bastard.

    Lilly: Oh, no no, it was um, it was me. I kinda fooled around with his ex. I mean, you'd think that guys would dig that, right? ...What? It's college, it's expected. You'll see.

  • Veronica: I don't know if I like the idea of you running around a place full of armed, drunk businessmen.

    Keith: That's why I rarely go to Texas.

  • Mac: Guess what?

    Veronica: What?

    Mac: Beaver got us a room at the Neptune Grand for tonight.

    Veronica: Ooh la la.

    Mac: Any advice?

    Veronica: Close your eyes and think of England?

  • Clemmons: I can't decide if my life is going to be easier or more difficult with you gone. Anything I should know in case I get another one like you someday?

    Veronica: Don't keep all your passwords taped on the bottom of your stapler. And stay cool, Mr. C.

  • Keith: For you, on this momentous occasion.

    Veronica: A pony?!

  • Veronica: New York?

    Keith: We leave Tuesday!

    Veronica: Broadway, SoHo, the MoMA?

    Keith: Yankee Stadium, Shea Stadium, Madison Square Garden.

  • Dick: Put on your dancing shoes, Mars, 'cause tonight we're gonna up-chuck the boogie to the rhythm of the boogie to beat.

    Veronica: Up...chuck?

    Dick: You heard me.

  • Kim: You're ten minutes late.

    Jackie: Cut me some slack, ma, I haven't even been back two days.

    Kim: Jackie, you ain't in Neptune no more. Terrence Cook fantasy camp is over. This is real life.

  • Jackie: Hello?

    Veronica: What, no "bonjour"?

    Jackie: Veronica? How did you know?

    Veronica: Well, first, three point one GPA? Doesn't scream Sorbonne. And the Java job — you're a pretty good service industry worker for the daughter of a model living on the Upper West Side who never held a job before. I've known for a while.

    Jackie: Look, I might've lied about my life, but I swear I never lied to Wallace about how I felt.

    Veronica: Whatever you told him, it really did the trick, because he just got on a plane to Paris. The good news is, he has a four-hour layover at JFK, so you can go tell him the truth before he's forced to endure several ugly days of rude waiters for nothing.

  • Logan: What are you doing here?

    Aaron: Well, I need a place to stay. How are the suites?

    Logan: Well, probably an improvement over your previous digs. Might be a little weird, though: I don't think any of the other guests killed anyone.

  • Woody: I didn't crash the bus. I could never have hurt all those kids.

    Keith: I don't know, Woody — the welfare of children doesn't seem to have been terribly high on your list.

  • Dick: Chug! Chug! Chug! Oh! That's what I'm talkin' about! Feels good to be a man from time to time, does it not?

    Cassidy: Yes.

    Dick: Enbom! Get over here!

    Mac: All I ask is that you don't follow that performance with a belch.

    Cassidy: Do you wanna go check out the room?

    Mac: It's liquid! It's courage! It's liquid courage!

  • Veronica: Where's your brother?

    Dick: I think he took Ghost World up to his room. They're probably up there makin' love. Or playing Dungeons and Dragons. Or both. At the same time. They're both, like, twelfth-level dorks. Just sayin'.

  • Aaron: Hello, Veronica. Well, don't look so surprised. It's a small town. Now that I'm no longer in jail, we might just run into each other from time to time.

    Veronica: I'll have to pay better attention to where I'm going, then.

    Aaron: Well, it's a free country. Those founding fathers were really onto something. Freedom. Ah, it's pretty damn sweet. I like it.

    Veronica: So did Lilly. Bummer you murdered her.

    Aaron: You know, I can see why the two of you were such good friends. You're so much alike. Not afraid to speak your minds. You know, that just might be the best part about the day I smashed her head in with an ashtray. Knowing that once and for all, she would finally shut the hell up.

  • Logan: Beaver, don't!

    Cassidy: My name...is Cassidy!

    Logan: Cassidy, don't!

    Cassidy: Why not? ...That's what I thought.

  • Aaron: Have I told you how much I love...freedom?

    Kendall: I like it too. And any more freedoming tonight and I'm gonna need a wheelchair.

  • Aaron: Well, well, well. Ha ha. Who's that handsome fella?

  • Duncan: CW?

    Wiedman: It's a done deal.

  • Keith: I wasn't on the plane. Lamb didn't want me arriving with Woody, getting met by the press, so he had them take me off the plane at the last minute. I rented a car, I drove home. I was a little surprised to find, you know, Logan on the couch, but it was better than finding him elsewhere, right?

  • Bill Lee: The cops found these in Cassidy's room, however. Phoenix Land Trust? It's all in your name, I assumed...

    Kendall: Right. Phoenix, the real estate thing. How am I doing these days?

    Bill Lee: Eight million and change. Tell him I said nice going.

    Kendall: "Him"?

    Bill Lee: Betting against incorporation? Ballsy. Feels like a Richard Casablancas move to me.

  • Keith: I can feel it already: the little town blues are melting away. You all packed?

    Veronica: Vagabond shoes and all. And pepper spray. For if we run into that Trump character.

    Keith: You sure you don't want to drive with the old man?

    Veronica: Logan's giving me a ride. We're supposed to "talk."

    Keith: How'd he take, um...what happened?

    Veronica: Shrugs it off. Calls himself "Little Orphan Annie." Which I think means, badly.

  • Keith: I should get my autograph book. Carol Channing is still alive, isn't she?

  • Veronica: What are you doing?

    Logan: I'm not gonna see you for a whole week. That's like, a month.

  • Kendall: Aw, young love. No, no, hold that position. Norman Rockwell wants to come in and paint you two. Did he pin on his pin, or was he too shy?

    Veronica: Why are you here?

    Logan: Yeah, I didn't know you could come out during daylight hours.

    Kendall: I have a business proposition for your father.

    Veronica: Okay, but I'm warning you: he doesn't carry much cash.


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