2.21 "Happy Go Lucky"
Aired May 02, 2006
Keith: Honey, when you get your chance to testify, it's important you keep yourself in check, okay? Aaron's lawyer's going to use everything in his bag of tricks to rile you.
Veronica: Ah, but here's the thing: I'm unrileable. Easygoing Veronica Mars. That's what the kids at school call me.
Keith: You sure you don't want to go over your testimony with the lawyers again?
Veronica: You know what I want? More than anything in the world? I wanna be there, in court, watching Aaron at the moment the jury reads the verdict. I wanna see that smirk wiped from his face. I wanna see his expression at the exact moment he realizes he'll never be a free man again.
Keith: Easygoing Veronica Mars, huh? You know how fat men are sometimes called Tiny?
Gia: That's for saving my life.
Veronica: What do I have to do for a pie? I'm...kidding. They're great.
Wallace: Where'd these come from?
Veronica: Saved someone's life. Can't talk, studying.
Wallace: Well, not me, baby. I'm cruisin' through this week.
Veronica: Did he just call me "baby"?
Wallace: I got my scholarship to Hearst, my grades are fine, good to go.
Veronica: Do you want me to cry?
Wallace: I'm just sayin'—
Veronica: 'Cause I'll cry.
Veronica: Do you know how long I've wanted to go to Stanford?
Wallace: Since middle school?
Veronica: Elementary, my dear Wallace. Do you have any idea how long I've waited to say that?
Jackie: It's so funny that you're working so hard to go to Stanford with Angie Dahl when Wallace, Mac, and your dad will all be in Neptune.
Wallace: Said the girl who's leaving all this to go to France.
Jackie: Ah, do you see a plane ticket in my hand?
Wallace: Seriously? You might stay?
Jackie: With Dad still in this mess...
Veronica: Could you guys tone down the adorable? Western Civ isn't gonna learn itself.
Jackie: I'm gonna need some milk to go with those cupcakes. Anyone want anything?
Veronica: Uh, peace? With a side of quiet?
Weevil: I need your help with something. Um, 'kay, this is a little weird for me, you know—
Veronica: Is this going to make me nauseous?
Weevil: I need your help with...you know, algebra.
Veronica: Like...the math?
Keith: I'm thinking about getting you some sort of...giant hamster ball, so you can roll everywhere in this protective sphere.
Veronica: It'd just draw attention to me. Nobody likes a blonde in a hamster ball.
Veronica: So, if you have is password...
Keith: Which I do. I looked over his shoulder once when he was signing on.
Veronica: He should know: you never log in with a Mars nearby.
Keith: Woody's got a Sharks team dinner tomorrow night, a whole table reserved for the Goodman family, the coast should be clear.
Veronica: Actually, it won't be. Gia is having her number one study buddy over. So...
Veronica: What? Why should you break in when I'm invited? Woody'll be at the dinner, and...we both know: if it came down to it, I could take Gia. The password. Give it.
Keith: You'll remember it. It's "Mr. Goodwood."
Veronica: I'm so not touching his keyboard.
Logan: You know, if you'd would've given Lilly the performance you gave today, she might've given you the Oscar.
Veronica: Hey, Cassidy. Who's Amber?
Cassidy: I have no idea.
Veronica: They keyed the wrong car? How's Amber gonna know that she's a bitch?
Gia: Oh my God!
Veronica: Doesn't look that bad.
Gia: No, I'm on MySpace, and I used to have like a thousand friends, and suddenly for some reason now I only have nine hundred something.
Woody: So. How'd it work out for you?
Woody: Your practice test. Are you as smart as you think you are?
Veronica: I hope so.
Ethan Lavoie: Is that why you propositioned Mr. Echolls upon discovering the tape of Lilly and my client kissing?
Veronica: You mean naked kissing? With Aaron on top gyrating? That tape?
Lamb: You wanted to see me, Judge?
Judge Ferris: There's been a development, Sheriff. Seems Mr. Lobo here was struck by a bolt of lighting.
Lamb: What, that he could cash old ladies' social security checks himself and get rid of the slot machines?
Weevil: This is pointless.
Cassidy: No, okay, look. So you know quadratic equations, right?
Weevil: Do I look like someone who knows quadratic equations, huh?
Cassidy: All right, look, so this equation here: what do you think that we should do first?
Weevil: Am I a five year-old girl? Huh? Lay it out for me, dawg, come on. Make me understand!
Cassidy: Okay, okay, okay! Okay. Okay, so let's say that you and your buddy, you want to buy a twelve pack of a certain item. Say, like, um, like spark plugs, for x dollars, and you want to find out how many of another item, like, um, I dunno, like oil, right, like oil that you can get for the same amount, except oil is y times as much as—
Weevil: If this is your idea of terms I'll understand, I'm going to kill you. Or myself. It's a toss-up. Screw it, man, I'll just cheat.
Cassidy: No, but — what about my car?
Weevil: You know power buffers, right? Well, let's say your door panel is a summer home, right, and you need to clear out the south lawn to make a tennis court so—
Mac: F-O-I-L. That's all it is. First, outside, inside, last. All algebra, it's just the formula.
Weevil: Now can you teach me that?
Mac: You'll still fix his car?
Weevil: That's the deal.
Mac: Okay. Say you and your buddy buy a twelve pack of spark plugs... I'm just kidding. Here's the quadratic equation.
Keith: Can you fly to New York, stop by NYU real quick, find Rick Pickett, and see if he was one of the batboys Woody molested?
Veronica: You know I don't fly coach.
Woody: Most adults don't have their children doing espionage work for them.
Keith: Most adults keep their hands off of other people's children.
Veronica: I want to ask you about something.
Logan: How unlike you. You never come to me out of the blue with some random question.
Weevil: 'Kay, you put another "x" on that paper and we're gonna have a problem.
Mac: I'd put little smiley faces, but I don't know if that's gonna sell "wrong."
Cassidy: I told you you went too fast on bouncing equations.
Mac: I didn't go too fast.
Cassidy: You plowed right through! I didn't understand what you were talking about!
Mac: No surprise there.
Cassidy: What, are you saying you're smarter than me?
Mac: No, I wasn't. Here's what that would've sounded like: "I'm smarter than you." Hear the difference?
Cassidy: You don't really believe that.
Mac: Then why'd I get it tattooed on my hip?
Cassidy: Well, if this is what you need to do to feel better about yourself...
Mac: If I get you an A, will you shiv him?
Weevil: Hey, I got an idea: how 'bout you two geniuses go work out your aggression in some coat room, and then come back here and teach me algebra, huh?
Wallace: I just took my last high school test ever. Done. Over. I'm outta here.
Veronica: And you decided to celebrate by torturing me?
Wallace: Whatta you got? One more?
Veronica: Nothing like having your future rest on how much you know about the ascendency rules of Babylon.
Wallace: Well, I gotta go clean out my locker.
Veronica: You got that salmon I left in there for you, right?
Wallace: You better enjoy this, 'cause this is as nostalgic as I get. I just wanted to say...it was worth getting taped to a pole.