2.19 "Nevermind the Buttocks"

Aired Apr 18, 2006

Cultural References

Never Mind the Bollocks (Music)

Episode Title: "Nevermind the Buttocks"

There are some who hold the Sex Pistols debut album to be one of the greatest albums of all time. There are others who hold it to be a collection of discordant, melody-free noise by snotty yobs ranting for the sake of it. Thus was punk born (more or less: Ramones fans...spare me). Creator Rob Thomas is of an age and of a history which suggests that he subscribes to the former view and that the episode title is a tribute. The latter view could be applied to the content of the episode. Symmetry is cool.

Animal Planet (TV)

"I'm sure Ms. Mars has had the required sexual education course provided by Neptune High School."
"I got an A minus. Plus, I watch Animal Planet."

The network for animal-watchers, it is available in many countries around the world. Like the magazine National Geographic before it, the popularity of which was due in some part to pictures of naked, human breasts, Animal Planet is watched by many for its films of sex. Sex, sex, sex. Animals are a randy bunch, and the proclaimed source of Veronica's knowledge of sexual intercourse. Come on. You really didn't think it was Duncan, did you?

Wicked stepmother (Literature)

"The wicked stepmother trying to bump off her rich husband's spawn. That's a Disney movie, isn't it?"

No, Veronica, it's not, but it could be. The wicked stepmother has been a staple of myth and fairy tales for as long as stories have been told. Disney's stock in trade has always been to mine such stories for their animated features, which have included such classic nasty-second-wife tales as Cinderella and Snow White. The perfection of the natural, usually deceased, mother is counterbalanced by the evil of the interloper, whom children can loathe without causing themselves the Freudian guilt of hating their mother. Of course, it's a real drag for stepmothers the world over as families become increasingly likely to be re-formed just like the Casablancases. Euripides said: "Better a serpent than a stepmother!" Don't be surprised to find Stepmothers on a Plane at a theater near you soon.

Who's Who bio: Walt Disney
"Circle of Life" (Music)

"Top of the food chain."
"Well, on behalf of nature, thank you for doing your part in the circle of life."

Another Walt Disney extravaganza gets a shout-out as Weevil relishes feeding a live rat to a hungry python in biology class. This Tim Rice/Sir Elton John collaboration was an Oscar-nominated hit song, reflecting the main theme of The Lion King, wherein a cub witnesses the murder of his father, the King of the Pride. Really! In a Disney movie! Simba runs away from it all before growing up, finding himself, and assuming the role he was born to. The rat would have been glad to learn that in the greater scheme of things, life goes on. Just not for him.

Who's Who bio: Walt Disney
See all references about The Lion King
James Bond (Characters)

"I don't know if waiting for Clemmons to go to lunch qualifies as espionage, but setting off his secretary's car alarm, pure Bond."

This fella's name sure does get mentioned a lot on this show. The British Secret Service's Agent 007 of countless books and movies never fails to get his (wo)man and save the world. He's sexy, he's resourceful, and he loves his gadgets.

Bond. James Bond.

Mars. Veronica Mars.

Get it?

Who's Who bio: James Bond
See all references about James Bond
Stick it to The Man (Words, Sayings, and Slogans)

"What's in it for me?"
"You get to stick it to The Man, and by 'The Man,' I mean your dad."

The Man. Oh, you don't know The Man? The Man's everywhere: in the White House, down the road, anyone in authority; she or he's The Man! And The Man ruined Mac's day when he searched all the lockers and he kidnapped Mac's cell phone interceptor and put it in a box of confiscated items! Okay! And there used to be a way to stick it to The Man, it was called duplicate keys. But guess what? Oh no! The Man had to ruin that too with a little thing called a new lock! So don't waste your time trying to keep anything cool or pure or awesome 'cause The Man's just gonna call you a fat, washed-up loser and crush your soul. So do yourself a favor and just give up...unless you're Veronica Mars and have an in with The Man's son. (This definition owes much to Jack Black.)

Who's Who bio: Van Clemmons
Anarchist Cookbook (Literature)

"Do you mind if I give this Anarchist Cookbook back to Weevil?"

The original, written by an angry youth of n-n-n-n-n-n-nineteen facing the draft to go to Vietnam, was published in 1971. It's a hodgepodge of mostly inaccurate and possibly suicidal ways to stick it to The Man (see above) including bomb-making, telecommunications hacks, and, most ludicrously, homemade drugs out of banana skins. Weevil cooks? Who knew?

Nash Bridges (TV)

"Green Plymouth Barracuda, 1970 to '73. Good news, Harry. Don't see a lot of 'Cudas except on Nash Bridges reruns."

There was life after Miami Vice and Cheech and Chong for Don Johnson and Cheech Marin in this late '90s effort which ran for six seasons. Set in San Francisco, it followed the head of the San Francisco Police Department's Special Investigations Unit and his Latino partner in both their work and personal lives. Not content to give up on the cool cars, Johnson drove a canary yellow Barracuda. It's worrying that Veronica knows this.

Who's Who bio: Nash Bridges
South Beach (TV)

"There's no way you're working that hard. You heard me coming and turned off South Beach, didn't you?"

Whoa there, Veronica! Is there really any need to quite so insulting? As if Keith Mars, who may never have been cool but who was always smart, would be caught dead watching such drivel. As described by Phil Gallo on Variety.com, it comprised ludicrous plots, inane dialogue and pitiful characters squeezed between glamour shots of southern Florida. UPN pulled it after eight episodes, which was sadly after its role as lead-in to Veronica Mars led to a plunge in the latter's ratings.

The Ten Commandments (Religion, Folklore, and Urban Legends)

"Logan may be a little fuzzy on the Commandments."

Veronica doesn't go on to specify which Commandment of the Ten God handed down to Moses on a stone tablet that Logan is fuzzy on, although "You shall not commit adultery" is the one most on point, as she's telling Keith about Logan and Kendall's "relationship." However, the moral imperatives include honoring your father, not taking the Lord's name in vain, not bearing false witness, and not coveting a neighbor's ass...

See all references about The Bible
Feelings journal (Things)

"Day of the crash, day of the crash...uh. I'd really have to consult my feelings journal to be sure."

Less cultural reference than a "What the hell is this?" thing, herewith an explanation for the sane parts of the world. It's a Yank thing. No one took the philosophies and ideas of the early psychiatrists and ran with them with more enthusiasm as the Americans. The nation's penchant for the leather couches and psychoanalysis, so prevalent in popular culture in the '60s and '70s, has given way to a home-made variety whereby adolescents are encouraged to express their emotions in diaries in the hopes that this outlet will prevent them from being the pains in the ass that teenagers are prone to be. In a technology-enhanced time, the trend has been to put these babblings online, so that everyone can know one's deepest and darkest thoughts of angst. Logan admits to one? He's kidding.

Pressed ham (Words, Sayings, and Slogans)

"All I saw was his butt. He gave us a pressed ham as they drove by, or, should I say, gave me, and I was the only one in the limo facing that direction. I just figured they were a couple of stupid college kids."

No wonder Gia is such a ditz. That urban slang should dictate that a bare bottom pressed against a car window have the same name as a lunchmeat says much about modern-day society. Exactly what that is is...a mystery, but it can't be good, can it?

Two bits, four bits, six bits, a dollar (Words, Sayings, and Slogans)

"Can you tell me where I can find Harry?"
"What'll you give me?"
"Two bits, four bits, six bits, a dollar? And as a bonus, I won't beat you silly."

This is an expression familiar to pirates, cheerleaders, and one embryonic bully who met his match in Veronica Mars. For pirates, it was all about pieces of eight, that is to say, Spanish dollars that would literally be cut up into pieces — in half, in half and in half again. There was a time when US currency was similarly divided, though not literally. This gave birth to a cheer: "Two bits, four bits, six bits, a dollar. All for [whatever], stand up and holler."

Dick Cheney (People)

"I hate fake deer too. Every time I see their stupid fake deer faces I wanna grab a shotgun and go all Cheney on 'em."

Veronica's response to watching Harry practicing his archery was, on airing, a very topical reference to President...no, that's not right...Vice President Dick Cheney's little accident when he shot a fellow in the face. Well, it really is hard to tell quails and people apart, you know? Actually, as a "shoot first, ask questions later (so long as it's not in Vietnam as a draftee)" reference, it works any time.

Who's Who bio: Dick Cheney
Rick Springfield (People)

"Dad, you've shown me your yearbook. The whole Rick Springfield feathered hair thing, it looked awesome on you. But those days are over, and it's time to move on."

From teeny-bopper singing sensation to soap star to credible, Grammy-winning musician, it's a little sad that Springfield is best remembered for his Farah Fawcett 'do in the '70s. In a scary episode, it's a little sad that the most memorable fright is the thought of Keith with feathered hair.

Who's Who bio: Rick Springfield
Space Ghost and Dino Boy (TV)

It's in the fine print, but the real Kendall Shiflett, killed in a single-vehicle car accident in which our Kendall was at the wheel, was a big fan — so much so that she made ceramic figurines of the villains. The cartoon was fairly short-lived, only two seasons, but the characters and universe in which they existed evolved into comic books, guest spots on other cartoons, and eventually into a parody chat show called Space Ghost Coast to Coast.

Who's Who bio: Space Ghost
See all references about Space Ghost and Dino Boy
Paypal (Organizations, Companies, and Products)

Veronica's informant demands cash for information about the Barracuda, asking her to "Paypal me." For non-computer users, it is a service whereby credit card payments can be made without having to give details to the payee. It is damn nigh mandatory for using eBay, another internet phenomenon. Or is that just me? Hang on. If you're not a computer user, then you're probably not reading this, are you? Hello? Anybody there? Anyone?

Vanna White (People)
Pat Sajak (People)
Wheel of Fortune (TV)

"That car belonged to my dear, departed husband, bless his soul. And it's staying right where it is in that garage until they carry me out in a box. Now, excuse me, but I'm missing Vanna and Pat. And what enjoyment, exactly, do the blind get out of Wheel of Fortune?"

Veronica traces the Barracuda to the home of an elderly woman who is cranky and anxious to get back to her favorites. Vanna White is blonde, hostessy, and has been on Wheel of Fortune for, like, ever. She points to things. It's called talent by somebody somewhere. As host, Pat Sajak encourages greed, recklessness, and phony emotion — in other words, daytime television at its Emmy-award-winning best. What enjoyment a blind woman get from this is one of those Season Two mysteries that will likely never be solved, just like the continuing success of a game show based on hangman.

Who's Who bio: Vanna White
See all references about Wheel of Fortune
Who's Who bio: Pat Sajak
Notre Dame (Places)

Even though it isn't exactly the same, it's hard not to think of Notre Dame's Fighting Irish logo when Veronica (un)covers the sticker that used to be on the window of the Barracuda. Notre Dame is a Catholic university in Indiana with a long history of success in college football. "Catholic=Irish=brawling" or so the stereotype went, and the nickname became common in the 1920s. "Fitzpatricks=thugs=Irish=Notre-Dame-or-some-such-place fans" shows that the stereotype is alive and well in Neptune.

Maybelline (Organizations, Companies, and Products)

"You believe me?"
"How could I not when you're battin' those Maybelline lashes at me?"

Maybe he's born with it. Maybe it's Maybelline. Yes, folks, those deep, long, luscious lashes of Weevil's just may be the result of the application of one of the cosmetic giant's little tubes of mascara. If Veronica says it is so, we must, with regret, believe it.

Claddagh ring (Things)

Designed in the seventeenth century in the village of Claddagh outside Galway, this ring has two hands (friendship) clasping a heart (love) surmounted by a crown (loyalty). As any lover of Buffy the Vampire Slayer knows, how the ring is worn tells the world whether the wearer is available or committed to another. For the record, the ring as worn by Liam, on his left hand, indicates that he is married, although it doesn't tell us to what.

Luck of the Irish (Ideas and Concepts)

"Oh, my, my, my. Well, maybe it is true about the luck of the Irish. Keith Mars. On the wrong end of a robbery in progress. Unbelievable."

The origin of this expression is confused. Some explain it as referring to the Irish being lucky. Some explain it as referring to the Irish being unlucky. Some explain it as referring to the Irish tendency for good luck to be followed by bad. What's clear is that the expression has a long history of popular use, confused or otherwise. And that in Liam's Fitzpartrick's case, all of the above applies when he finds Keith in Kendall's house.

Heidi Fleiss's little black book (Things)

"Ask yourself this question: Exactly how much business did Heidi Fleiss do when her little book went public, huh?"

Weevil is being a little disingenuous here as he blackmails Liam Fitzpatrick to release the PCHers from their servitude. Heidi Fleiss's little black book never actually went public. She was arrested on charges of running a high-priced call-girl service to the great and the good of Hollywood. Rumors circulated of her little black book, containing the names, addresses, sexual preferences, and total money contributed by these worthies. But Heidi's business didn't go bust because of the book. It went bust because prostitution was illegal and she went to jail.

Who's Who bio: Heidi Fleiss
Oscar statue (Movies)

"They found the murder weapon...buried in the Kane's back yard. The new owners were moving the swimming pool, and they found Aaron's Oscar statue."

Ha ha ha ha, Aaron got an Oscar! This means that Aaron Echolls won an award from the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences for something he did that was deemed by his peers to be the best of the year. It couldn't be for acting, could it? The award is in the form of an Oscar statuette, made of gold-plated britannium on a black metal base and depicting a knight with a sword standing on a reel of film. The reel has five spokes, one for each original branch of the Academy: actors, writers, directors, producers and technicians. Weighing eight and a half pounds, it makes a handy murder weapon.

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