2.19 "Nevermind the Buttocks"

Aired Apr 18, 2006


Lawyers Office: Cliff pours a glass of water as Aaron's lawyer asks Veronica if she wants him to repeat the question. She says she does and the lawyer says that Veronica said she saw Aaron and Lilly having sex on the video tape. He asks if it was actual intercourse and Veronica says that a sheet was covering them but it looked and sounded like they were having sex. He checks whether Veronica would know what sex is, and Cliff objects and says Veronica has taken the required sexual education at school. Veronica informs him she got an A- and has watched Animal Planet. The lawyer tells her that statutory rape is a grave offence, but Veronica replies that it isn't to a murderer. The lawyer finally asks her if she is still in contact with Duncan Kane.

Mars' apartment: Veronica loads some food into the microwave as Keith bursts in through the door, telling her to prepare herself for having her mind blown. He tells her that Richard Casablancas was using the insurance that he took out on Cassidy and Dick as a tax shelter, and the payout, which would be over eight figures, should the brothers die simultaneously, would go to Kendall. Veronica jokes that the wicked stepmother trying to bump of her stepchildren has been done by Disney. Keith points out that Kendall definitely had a motive, but he doesn't know if she is capable. Veronica informs him that he shouldn't underestimate Kendall, as she went from spandex to cashmere very fast. Keith says he will have a look around and see what she was up to on the day of the crash.

Neptune High: classroom: Locker searches can be seen occuring in the hallway. In the class, the teacher takes the register and then tells Weevil to feed the python. He gets a rat and is talking to it when Veronica comments he's baby-talking a python. Weevil says he and the snake have a special connection as they are both top of the food chain. Veronica thanks him for doing his part in the circle of life and he tells her he has no problem sacrificing a rat. Veronica reacts to his words.

Neptune High: hallway: Veronica walks away from her locker and notices a boy standing looking at her. She carries on walking until she reaches Mac, who is banging her head against her locker. A piece of paper is attached to the front. Veronica asks her what's happening and Mac tells her that Clemmons took her cell phone interceptor out of her locker and they plan on keeping it until the end of the year. Mac asks Veronica to get it back as she borrowed it from a friend at Radio Shack. She says she's become the psycho ex-girlfriend and was going to use it to listen into Cassidy's conversations. Veronica looks at her and Mac asks if she is judging her. Veronica says she is judging herself; she should have a cell phone interceptor. Mac tells her to respect the business model — she's the gadget girl and Veronica does the espionage. Veronica tells her she will see what she can do.

Neptune High: administration office: An alarm is going off and a woman hurries out from behind the desk searching for her keys. Veronica says she doesn't know if waiting for Clemmons to go to lunch is espionage, but setting off his secretary's car alarm is pure Bond. She sneaks into the office and tries to unlock Clemmons door, but finds he has changed the lock.

Neptune High: hallway: Veronica waits for Butters to come out of class. She asks him if he will help her get into Clemmons office, to get to the box of confiscated items, and he says he wants a prom date in return. She says she won't go with him, but he tells her he wants to go with Mac. Veronica says it can be arranged, so Butters tell her that Clemmons has bus circle duty after school, and she can meet him in Clemmons' office.

Neptune High: Clemmons' office: Veronica stands next to Mac and knocks slowly on the door three times. Butters opens the door and asks if that is her secret knock. Veronica tells him that the genius is in the simplicity. Butters tells them they have eleven minutes before Clemmons gets back and the box is under the desk. Veronica rushes over and begins to dig around. Mac thanks Butters and says it's very cool of him. Butters replies that he is an excellent dancer, so she won't have to worry. Mac confusedly says she will try not to. Butters continues to say he doesn't have to dance, he likes a good conversation as well. Veronica interrupts the awkward conversation to point out some fake vomit she found and a t-shirt saying Smell It, Bitch. Butters once again jumps in, asking Mac what color dress she's wearing. Mac, completely flummoxed, tells him she is wearing pants and he laughs loudly as she looks slightly scared. Butters says he doesn't want her dress to be red, and the corsage blue, and have her think he is an idiot. Mac begins to catch on and Veronica quickly tells her she's found her cell phone interceptor. Veronica has also found Weevil's The Anarchist Cookbook and asks Butters if she can return it. He asks how she knows Weevil's locker number and Veronica points out his locker is number 333, and Weevil had bragged he was meeting Satan halfway. Butters agrees, then tells Mac he is thinking about getting a while limo.

Neptune High: parking lot: Veronica is leaning against Weevil's car. He tells her she looks exactly like a calendar in his uncle's garage, but she should get off the car otherwise she will scratch the paintwork. Veronica asks if he's seen Thumper lately, as no one has heard from him and if he doesn't get back soon, he will miss prom. Weevil says that he's sure Thumper's crushed and laughs at his own joke. Veronica pulls out the cookbook and says it was confiscated at the beginning of the year from his locker. She asks if there was any reason he needed it. Weevil says he was making the survivalists stew, but didn't care for it. Veronica points out that on top of the stew, it's also a manual for making bombs. Weevil checks whether she is accusing him of blowing up the bus and she says she is exploring a theory. He didn't just happen to be at the gas station, he was following them. She goes on to say the explosion didn't kill them, the fall from the cliff did and someone had to have timed it properly. Weevil could have hit send on his cell phone while on the bike, and Veronica wouldn't have known. Weevil points out that Cervando, a PCHer, was on the bus. Veronica informs him that he didn't mean to blow up the bus; he meant to take out the limo. He put the rat on the bus to force the rich kids into the limo. Weevil sarcastically asks whether they got the big yellow bus and the long black limo mixed up. Veronica says they put the bomb in Dick's goody bag, without knowing he'd give it to Betina. Weevil asks her if she thinks any of the 09ers were worth all that effort. Veronica points out that Logan was. Weevil argues he wasn't there. Veronica says he was supposed to be and asks if is he telling her he wouldn't kill the guy that murdered Felix? She tells him that at least he got it right with Thumper, so he's top of the food chain again. She walks away.

Neptune High: eating area: Veronica sits alone eating lunch and the guy from the hallway earlier approaches her. Without turning around, Veronica points out that he has been following her. The boy, Harry, says that he heard Veronica can find stuff. Veronica tells him she can sometimes, for a fee. Harry asks her to find the owner of a car that ran over his dog. Veronica says she is really sorry, and he tells her he caught a glimpse of the back of the car. He asks how much she would charge to track it down. She says $50 if it's an easy online search, but if she really has to dive in, it could go up to $250. Harry asks her if he can pay her in meat and Veronica echoes him in confusion.

Neptune High: classroom: Harry says that the best times of his life were with the dog. Veronica is looking through a car book for the car that ran over the dog. They find the right one, a Plymouth Barracuda, in green. Veronica says they don't see many of those kinds of cars and goes to find out how many are registered in Neptune — none. She says she will keep looking.

Neptune High: classroom: The editor of the newspaper asks where Bob Patten is; he owes a story on the high price of graduation. He asks Veronica to find a generic photo to fill the gap. Veronica asks how much would it cost to place an ad the size of the gap and the editor tells her $40.

Neptune High: hallway: Veronica is at her locker when Jackie approaches her to ask a favour. She wants Veronica to put in a good work for her at Java the Hut; she has already dropped an application off. Veronica jokes that $6.75 an hour won't keep Jackie's dog in sweaters. Jackie tells her the Cook's assets have been frozen and the repossessors are in. Veronica says she will see what she can do.

Java the Hut: Veronica is at the till when the Cute as a Bug manager walks past. Veronica tells her that a friend dropped off an application. The manager says that Jackie has no experience and has never held a job. Veronica says Jackie could really use the job. The manager agrees, if Veronica vouches for her and fires her if she sucks. Veronica says she will and the manager says Jackie can start tomorrow.

Mars' apartment: Veronica arrives home to Keith sitting on the sofa, with documents in his hands. She says he can't be working that hard, he probably just turned off South Beach. Keith asks why Logan would have gotten three calls for Kendall the day of the crash. Veronica tells him they were sleeping together. Keith points out it was weeks before her husband fled the country. Veronica comments Logan isn't up on the commandments. Keith asks her if she can stomach finding out if Logan was with Kendall at the time of the crash.

Neptune High: parking lot: Logan gets out of the Xterra and walks over to where Veronica is waiting for him. He says he likes to start every school day with a hot blonde waiting for him. Veronica says she does as well. Logan exclaims that he isn't blonde. Veronica adds he isn't hot either. She asks whether he remembers to back when he was doing the deed with Kendall. He tells her that Kendall thought he was hot. Veronica asks if he was with her the day of the crash, because he and Kendall spoke on the phone a few times that day. Logan tells her she is obsessed with sex life, and asks if he needs to start carrying around a webcam with him. Veronica tells him that Kendall stood to make millions killing Dick and Cassidy, with the insurance policy. Logan jokes that Kendall needs a domestic staff to make cereal, does Veronica really think she could plot a murder? Veronica asks again if he was with her at 7:03. Logan says she kicked him out before the sheets were dry, but he doesn't blame her – Mr. Casablancas has a gun and Dick and Cassidy were due home any time. Logan then tells her he got to second base with a girl in eighth grade and he made a townie girl moan without using his hands last summer. Veronica walks away.

Neptune High: hallway: Veronica enters the school, as Gia calls her and rushes over. Gia asks if Veronica put the ad in the magazine asking for people with info about the car to email her. Gia says she saw the car; some guy in it mooned her. Veronica asks where it happened, and Gia replies September 13th, 7:00pm, Pacific Highway — it passed by the limo minutes before the bus went off the cliff. Veronica asks what the guy looked like, but Gia said she only saw his butt. She also says that she was the only one facing in that direction. Gia says she thought they were a couple of stupid college kids, because they had a mascot in the window. Veronica asks how long before the crash it was, and Gia says a couple of minutes. She only remembers because she was on the phone to her dad at the time, who was phoning to see where she was and find out if she could pick up Rodney from his piano lesson.

Neptune High: hallway: Wallace approaches Jackie and tells her he tried, but it doesn't work. If she wants them to be platonic, she has to make a few changes. He tells her it's been two weeks, and Jane already has a date. Wallace tells her that she's already the girl whose dad blew up the bus, people won't care if she's the girl that keeps her hands off other girl's boys. Offended, Jackie storms away.

Neptune: Veronica pulls up outside Harry's house and knocks on the door. A younger boy answers with a nasty black eye. She introduces herself and he recognizes her from Neptune High, as a cheerleader or something. Veronica says it's the or something. She asks where she can find Harry and he asks what she will give him. She says a dollar and as a bonus, won't beat him silly. He laughs and says he might like that. She flicks him in the eye and says she thinks he wouldn't. He tells her Harry is out the back, and she walks around the house. Harry has a crossbow in his hands and is shooting a stuffed deer. Veronica jokes she hates deer as well. Harry asks how the investigation is going and Veronica says they may have a small lead. She asks if there was a sticker on the car, and Harry said it was pretty dark. He shoots the deer in the eyes as he says he really wants this guy found.

Garage: Weevil is under a car fixing it when someone walks in. He slides out and finds Hector. Hector said Weevil made a mistake. The Fitzpatrick's have been all over them, treating them like their bitches. They need help. He tells him about Arturo, who Weevil wouldn't let in to the PCHers; he got a cigarette lighter to the face when he missed a payment.

Mars Investigations: Veronica is looking through cars on her laptop. Keith comes in with a Kendall's year book and asks Veronica to look at page eighty seven. Veronica finds the page, and finds Kendall's name, but the curly haired blonde girl under Kendall's name isn't Kendall. Keith has found Kendall later in the book as a senior under Priscilla Banks. Keith has also found a newspaper clipping about a Kendall Shiflett that was killed in a car crash, Priscilla behind the wheel. She also spent six months in jail for wire fraud. Keith commends himself on his PI skills, as Veronica gets distracted by an instant message coming through asking her to PayPal them the money and in return they will send the address of where they saw the car. She replies back asking for their email. She jots down the address, and tells Keith has got a lead on the Barracuda that ran over a classmates dog.

Neptune: Veronica knocks on a door and realizes she should have brought some kind of weapon to confront the dog killer. An old lady wearing dark glasses opens the door and demands to know who she is. Veronica asks if the lady has seen the car around the neighbourhood and the lady tells her she hasn't seen a thing since her cataracts came back. The lady asks what Veronica wants with her car. Veronica pretends her dad is into them and the lady tells her the car belonged to her departed husband and will be staying in the garage until she dies. She dismisses Veronica to watch Wheel of Fortune and Veronica sneaks into the garage at look at the car. She discovers an area on the window which still has the remnants of glue, and using powder, she discovers the outline of the Irish leprechaun that was there. She gets into the car, looks around, and plants a tracker, before discovering a gun in the dash compartment.

Mars Investigations: Keith phones Mr. Banks, saying he is from Priscilla's (Kendall) school's alumni association and they are planning a reunion, but are unable to get hold of Priscilla. Her father tells him they are also trying to track her down, but they know she is in Neptune because she sent her mom a get well card a few weeks back. Keith asks if it had a return address and Mr. Banks says it didn't; he thinks Priscilla doesn't want them knowing where she is. Before they hang up, Mr. Banks asks that if Keith tracks her down, to tell Priscilla her mom died.

Mars Investigations: Weevil knocks on the door and Veronica asks if he has come to confess. Weevil asks Veronica to get him into Clemmons office, because she has a key. Veronica says that if he wants her help, he has to answer a few questions. First, why does he need to get into Clemmons' office? Weevil tells her to get a paddle that belonged to Thumper than was confiscated. Veronica notes the interesting use of the past tense before asking what's so special about the paddle. Weevil says it had licence plates on it and he thinks that the cars probably belong to the people the Fitzpatrick's deal to, and Thumper might have made it as an insurance policy. Veronica asks how that's working out for Thumper. Weevil tells her that the Fitzpatrick's have turned PCHers into slave labour. Veronica then asks why Weevil was following the bus the day of the crash. Weevil explains that Cervando was book smart, but street dumb. They had hustled Liam out of some money, and Cervando was bragging about it to anyone that would listen. Weevil had heard that Liam was out looking for him, so Weevil was keeping a watch on Cervando as protection. Weevil asks if Veronica believes him, and she asks how could she not when he's batting his Maybelline lashes at her. Keith comes out of his office and tells her he is heading out, and asks if Veronica will be home soon. Veronica tells him she has a shift at the Hut and she'll lock up. Keith disapprovingly greets Weevil as Eli, and Weevil greets Keith as Sheriff. Keith leaves and Weevil stands, asking for the key. Veronica hands him the key then tells him it's useless, as Clemmons changed the locks. Weevil begins to get annoyed before Veronica produces the photocopy she took of the paddle. He says she's unbelievable. Veronica offers to help him figure out who some of the people on the list are.

Java the Hut: Jackie is efficiently serving different customers and Veronica notes that Jackie has turned out to be a good waitress after all. Veronica goes over to Jackie and tells her she has someone waiting for her at table eight that requested to be seated in her area. Jackie finds Wallace seated alone. He apologizes for what he said at school; he didn't mean for it to come out the way it did. He asks if it is really her reputation she is worried about, because then he hopes she can get past that. But if she just doesn't like him the way he likes her, then he understands and will back off. Jackie tells him that she likes him a lot, even too much, but she's been accepted to a school in Paris, and will be leaving the day after graduation, in five weeks time. She tells him they won't have a happy ending; it's just enough time to get their hearts broken. Veronica notices the car is on the move from the tracker she put on it and asks Jackie is she would mind watching her tables.

Neptune: Veronica follows the car in her Le Baron, tuning into the bug so she can hear what's going on. Someone, wearing a Claddagh ring and singing along to the radio, is driving. The car pulls up outside a house and a dark haired woman gets in the car. She tells him she thinks someone is in the house; she saw a flashlight moving around. The male voice asks her to pass him the gun out of the glove compartment. Veronica quickly phones her dad and asks for his help, because she thinks someone is going to get shot. Keith asks where she is and Veronica gives him the address. Keith tells her to pull up outside the house with the engine running, and if she sees anyone pull up other than him, she should leave. Veronica asks him what's going on as Keith hangs up. Someone opens the front door to the dark house Keith is standing in as Veronica continues to call to her dad. She drives in front of the house and waits. Keith moves into the kitchen, keeping to the shadows as he hears footsteps. He looks around before making a dart for the door when a voice asks him if he has found anything. Liam Fitzpatrick steps out of the shadows with a gun in his hand, pointing at Keith. Liam laughs as he realizes it's the former sheriff. He says that Keith is on the wrong end of a robbery, as Keith looks at a window. Liam says if Keith makes a run for it, it will help his story when the crime scene investigators show up. Keith turns and pleads with Liam, saying he has a daughter. Liam tells Keith they've meet: she's a sweet girl, and he'll keep an eye on her when he's gone. He pulls the trigger and fires, and Keith flinches, then realizes there was no bullet in there. He tackles Liam quickly as Liam continues to try and fire. Outside, the lady gets out of the car and walks towards Veronica in the car, asking what's she's doing there. We see that is it Kendall as she stops in the light and asks who is in her house and what's going on. Liam and Keith suddenly fly out the window, still fighting. Keith elbows Liam in the stomach and makes a run for it to Veronica's car. Veronica shouts to Kendall to move, and they speed off. Liam walks over to Kendall, and she asks him why Keith was in the house. Liam tells her he didn't say and Kendall points out that it is bad. Liam suggests tracking him down and asking him, and Kendall says it will be worse.

The Le Baron: Keith tells Veronica the gun wasn't loaded and Veronica informs him that if he hadn't have hung up on him, she could have told him that, the bullets are in her ashtray. Veronica asks if they should return them and Keith affectionately rubs her head. Veronica says that she guesses Kendall/Priscilla has a secret house and Keith agrees, and says he takes it she found her car and Veronica agrees. Veronica then asks if he found anything in her house, like plans to blow up a school bus, and Keith holds up her hard drive.

Mars Investigations: Mac is connecting the hard drive to a laptop as Veronica cleans up Keith's injuries. Veronica thanks Mac and Mac tells her she isn't speaking to Veronica. Butters asked if he should rent a room for prom night, so she is doing it for Mr. Mars. Keith asks Mac to print off Kendall's emails and Mac replies that his wish is her shift command. Veronica points out she preferred it when Mac wasn't talking to her.

Neptune: docks: The PCHers are standing in a row as the Fitzpatricks arrive, to get the money that the PCHers got that week. Liam points out the money is short and Hector says it's supply and demand, and that was all they could sell. Liam tells them to create demand; they should hold a rave on the beach, or finals are coming up, people need to stay awake to study. Liam suggests they try a motivational technique and they pick out Harry's brother from the PCHers and tie him on a hook. Liam takes a hat and puts it on the floor and tells them they'll let him go when it's full of money. One of the Fitzpatricks begins to beat him as the PCHers quickly try and fill the hat. A car suddenly pulls up and Weevil gets out. Liam taunts him and Weevil tells him the PCHers won't be dealing for them anymore. Weevil gives him the list of clients they deal to, the famous and rich people, and tells him he has many copies. Weevil tells him that the day he goes missing is the day the list goes public. The Fitzpatricks leave and the PCHers greet Weevil enthusiastically. Weevil tells them they are on their own now and leaves.

Mars Investigations Veronica and Keith are going through the emails. Veronica tells Keith she found out the old lady with the car is Liam's grandmother. Veronica then goes on to say that Cervando thought the Fitzpatricks were after him, because he ripped them off and then went bragging. Liam wanted to shut him up and he has access to explosives through Danny. She says she can't find anything to connect Liam and Kendall. Keith tells her that he found sixty five emails to Cormick Fitzpatrick, Liam's older brother who is doing time in San Quentin for fraud. He says that Cormick and Kendall were partners, working the long con and Kendall was his roper. The stint she did was when she took the rap for Cormick, to save him a third strike, so the Fitzpatrick's owe Kendall. They think that Liam could have been on the road as Kendall's eyes, and she could have made the phone call to the bomb for the comfort of the Casablancas' pool. Keith asks if she has spoke to Logan, and Veronica says that Logan was with her than day, but was kicked out hours before the crash.

Java the Hut: Jackie spots Wallace waiting for her and goes over. He says that he has been thinking about what she said, but he doesn't care — five weeks is five weeks. They should live in the now and be happy. Jackie sits down and Wallace says he doesn't know where he's going to meet another girl like her. She says she doesn't think she will find another Wallace either. Wallace then asks her to prom and she says yes.

Mars' Apartment: Keith calls Veronica into the living room, where he is watching TV. He pauses the news and tells her than they found the murder weapon that was used to kill Lilly. Veronica asks about the glass ashtray that was found and Keith says they assumed that was used, as it was in the pool. Veronica asks if it changes anything and Keith explains that the new weapon was found buried at the Kane's when the new owners were moving the swimming pool and came across Aaron's Oscar statue. Veronica points out that it should help their case, but Keith tells her than in addition to Lilly's blood, Duncan's hair was found on it. Veronica looks stunned.

Neptune: Harry's house: Veronica goes up to the front door and notices a motorbike parked outside. She knocks on the door and Harry's brother answers with fresh bruises. He immediately says that Harry is in his room, and Veronica grabs his arm before he can leave. She asks if the bike is his and he says it is. Veronica tells him that he knows exactly who killed Harry's dog; the same person that gave him the bruises — Liam Fitzpatrick. She asks if he was late with the payment. He gapes at her and Veronica points out that it means he's probably guilty. He pleads with her not to tell Harry. Harry isn't afraid of anyone, and he would go after Liam straight away and end up in jail for murder. Harry calls out to ask who it is and Veronica goes into his room. She tells herself that she just has to give Harry the name of Liam, who tried to murder her father and who has killed other people, not to mention he probably had something to do with the deaths of everyone on the bus. She says she wouldn't miss him. She finds Harry sharpening his weapons. He asks her if she found out who ran over his dog. After a long pause, she says no.


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