2.17 "Plan B"
Aired Apr 05, 2006
Veronica: "Freedom: That's what it's all about. But talking about it, and being it, that's two different things."
Logan: Whew. You came up all deliberate-like, I figured you wanted to be first in line to ask me to the Sadie Hawkins dance, not recite my prize-winning essay.
Veronica: Neither, actually. I'm quoting Easy Rider, which you may remember making me watch last summer.
Logan: That's funny, it sounds a lot like my essay.
Veronica: Yeah. Weird.
Weevil: Sure. I mean, who doesn't use algebra every day of their life, but, Felix, algebra II? Come on. What am I still doin' even showin' up here? Oh. Whoa, whoa, whoa. It's all comin' back to me now.
Jane: I heard the FBLA won the drawing to host the Sadie Hawkins dance. Dances are the best fundraisers — the band made like three grand at last year's.
Veronica: This face? Right here? My over-the-moon face.
Jane: Thinking of asking some special boy?
Veronica: I'm flying solo for the foreseeable future. I'll be working it, though.
Wallace: You work it, girlfriend!
Veronica: Taking keepsake couples photos.
Veronica: What about you? Anyone on your radar?
Jane: Well, I've got a dilemma. I'm torn between this sweet band dork and this all-hands Nubian prince.
Veronica: Oooh. Tell me more about this band dork.
Weevil: Need your help.
Veronica: Augh, if I had fifty bucks every time someone said that...
Weevil: Look, I know it's a drag being you—
Veronica: No, seriously, I'm gonna need fifty bucks if you expect me to keep listening.
Weevil: Well, I'm banking on, uh, curiosity getting the better of you.
Veronica: ...All right, tell me! Damn my curiosity.
Weevil: And, uh, Thumper has something on me. There's this video on his cell.
Veronica: Do go on.
Weevil: I didn't exactly tell you the whole truth about how I handled the Curly situation.
Weevil: I think that's Scout's honor, and your fingers are supp—
Veronica: Not important. Moving on.
Weevil: I saved his life. My boys wanted to send him off a cliff behind the Road Hog.
Veronica: Don't suppose you noticed whether Curly had my name written on his hand while you were...saving his life.
Weevil: No. But uh, the cameo he was wearing looked a lot like you.
Wallace: How's your dad doin'?
Jackie: Fantastic. So good, in fact, they took him off suicide watch yesterday. Banner freakin' day in the Cook household, let me tell ya.
Mr. Wu: This is study hall. Do you two know what we do in study hall?
Jackie: Gimme a minute, I think I know this one...
Mac: What are you doing?
Cassidy: Um, you know, just standing here, wondering what I've done to make you ashamed of me. It's the age thing, isn't it? You know, me and my full blush of youth, and you and your...advancing years.
Mac: I'm standing in the middle of the hallway holding your hand, dorkwad.
Cassidy: And if the dance blows half as much as I'm guessing it will, we can cut out early. Go straight for the good stuff.
Mac: Ooh, my.
Cassidy: I'm talking about Neptune's Best Pizza Quest '06. You, get your mind out of the gutter.
Veronica: Hey. I need a second.
Logan: I'm sorry, I can't be late for my first day. Call the county courthouse, ask for the assistant to the honorary deputy mayor. Have her pencil you in.
Veronica: I need you to do something for me.
Logan: Veronica. Ask not what Logan can do for you, but what you do for Logan.
Veronica: That's gonna get old real soon.
Logan: Let me know when that time comes. Until then, you know me: I'll just be speaking softly and carrying a big stick.
Veronica: Tell me everything you remember about the night Felix was killed.
Logan: You do know I've been cleared of all charges, right? The whole dead Felix business has lost its intrigue for me, and when something stops being important to me, my memory gets a little fuzzy. Wait...who are you?
Veronica: The murder is still unsolved.
Logan: And yet, somehow, I sleep like a baby.
Veronica: If Thumper did do it, he's about to get away with killing Felix, framing you, taking over the PCH bike club, and cornering the high school drug trade. We should invite him to speak at FBLA.
Logan: Follow the bouncing ball: Not. My. Problem.
Veronica: You don't remember anything about the guy who stopped and helped you? The 911 caller?
Logan: Mexican dude, driving a truck. Oh, his truck had a bumper sticker. It said "How's my driving? Call 1-800-EAT"...something.
Veronica: Thanks. Well, run along, Deputy Dawg, go serve your community.
Woody: Now, I'm sure you're aware that I've introduced a bill proposing the incorporation of Neptune.
Logan: Glad you brought it up. I'm backing the plan. In fact, I'm throwing my considerable weight behind it. I say we take it a step further and erect a wall around Neptune proper, keep the rifraff out. You want me to visit some of the local community centers, sell them on it?
Woody: Not quite yet, but I appreciate the offer. For now, we just need this mail separated into pro- and anti-incorporation piles.
Logan: Uh, isn't Beverly here a bit more suited to this kind of thing?
Beverly: I've got a letter opener you can borrow.
Woody: Beats pulling a drive-through shift at Woody's Burgers, right?
Logan: I wouldn't know. You're the one who's served twenty billion.
Logan: That's Honorary Deputy County Commissioner Echolls to you.
Logan: So this is staking out, huh? Looks sexier in the movies.
Veronica: Did you hear anything from Hannah?
Logan: Does deafening silence count?
Veronica: You know, I'm not sure, but I think when they start shipping your girlfriends off, you're officially a bad boy.
Logan: Her dad and your dad should get together and go bowling.
Logan: Covering your own ass made the last seven months of mine Hell.
Luis: That's one way of lookin' at it. And here's another: if it was me who stopped, chased off the bikers, and called 9-1-1? Then I guess I'd be the guy who saved your life.
Logan: I was planning on sending a fruit basket from prison.
Luis: A rich, white son of a movie star getting convicted in Neptune? I'd say your future's safe.
Weevil: You find the witness?
Veronica: Yeah. Found out he's as good as no witness at all. Not a big fan of the PCHers.
Weevil: Yeah. Their popularity's really gone downhill without me.
Mac: This serves as a pre-emptive apology for the conversation that's about to take place. Okay. And...Beaver and I occasionally, you know, uh, make out.
Veronica: Mmm. I made out once. Back in the day. I think he had me pinned up against a woolly mammoth.
Mac: So not that I'm an expert in this sorta stuff, but four months, typical high school boy, there should be some...under the...bra action, no?
Veronica: Let me consult my Idiot's Guide to Wanton Behavior. Basically, you're asking me because I'm the sluttiest person you know?
Mac: Um, "slutty" is your word choice. Mine was "worldly."
Jackie: Did you just check that girl out?
Wallace: I was admiring her sweater.
Jackie: Her second skin rack-magnifying sweater?
Wallace: I love the fabric.
Jackie: It'd be a good color on me.
Wallace: I got news for you: there's not a bad color for you. I think you should ask her where she got that from.
Jackie: Oh, you think so, huh?
Wallace: Anytime a hot girl wants to wear a tight sweater with a zip down the middle? I'm on board.
Woody: You know, looking at you, reminds me of the good old days, when I was young and ripped. Betcha have some fun with the ladies, huh?
Logan: Uh, the ones that survive.
Veronica: So after all this, it looks like Felix got himself killed bragging about his sex life.
Weevil: Thumper made it up, okay? You wanna make a guy like Liam lose his mind? Call a girl in his family a whore, say that she'll let you do what any—
Keith: Eli. Veronica. Don't tell me: lab report.
Veronica: History exam. Roman history. Man, that Caligula...whoo.
Lamb: Look up Eli Navarro. There's gotta be something outstanding we can book him on.
Weevil: Well, if I did it, it's outstanding.
Lamb: Still pickin' winners, huh, Veronica?
Veronica: I told you: when I start picking losers, it's all you. We were just in the neighborhood, thought we'd drop by, solve a murder case for you.
Lamb: Well, bonus points for bringing the perp along. So who's the deceased?
Veronica: Eduardo Orozco killed Felix.
Lamb: Thumper. But he's got such a cute nickname.
Veronica: Here's proof that they're working together. Liam Fitzpatrick practically confesses to orchestrating Felix's death on this tape.
Liam: [on tape] —how he plugged the good ship Molly-pop. You should be glad he's dead. If your dad wasn't in prison, he'd a done it himself.
Lamb: Imagine how helpful that recording would be if was obtained legally. Not to mention an actual confession.
Veronica: Note the absence of a silver platter. This was more to steer you in the right direction than to, say, do your job for you. Actually, it was doing your job for you. Getting admissible evidence seems like the least you can do.
Lamb: There's less I can do. Trust me.
Weevil: You know, an 09er could come in here with tea leaves and a ouija board and they'd send out a SWAT team. It's time for Plan B.
Veronica: Not just yet, Dirty Harry.
Weevil: In case you haven't noticed, I ain't no mick cop.
Veronica: Uh...okay. Dirty Sanchez?
Gia: Hi, welcome to the Sadie Hawkins Spring Fling. Enjoy!
Logan: Don't worry, gang, if she's a two at ten, she'll be a ten at two.
Gia: This is cool, huh? It would've been cooler to have, like, a date, but, actually, I'm kind of proud of myself that I came alone. It's kinda huge for me, don't you think? It's like I'm evolving.
Jane: I'm seventeen years old and my mom decides that last night was the perfect opportunity to give me the sex talk. Wallace?
Wallace: Yeah, uh, my lecture was one word: don't.
Gia: So my dad likes having you at work. He says you've got potential. I think that was the word.
Logan: Well "potential" was the word, but "underachiever" is the sentiment.
Gia: Ha ha. The demolition ceremony's gonna be fun. Are you nervous? What if you push the plunger and nothing happens?
Logan: You mean like if there were total silence? Let's try to imagine it.
Gia: For a friendship to work, you have to be completely honest, which is something I have absolutely no problem with. But you...you run from the truth.
Logan: Only when it's chasin' me.
Gia: Do you know what I think? I think you use sarcasm and anger as a way to keep people from getting too close to you.
Logan: You know, I do. But it doesn't always work.
Gia: Tell me what you think about me. Seriously. Be completely honest.
Veronica: Dance with me.
Logan: Oh, God.
Logan: When I dreamed of this moment, "I've Had the Time of My Life" was always playing. Well, what can you do.
Thumper: I was goin' into Saint Mary's to make the drop. Next thing I knew, somebody grabbed me and I was out. When I woke up, the cash was gone.
Liam: That baby face looks real pretty for someone who got jumped. So what, you get hit in the head?
Thumper: No, some kind of a...
Liam: Used the Vulcan death grip?
Liam: Oh, duct tape. Is there anything it ain't good for?