2.11 "Donut Run"

Aired Jan 25, 2006

Cultural References

Snow White (Characters)
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (Movies)

"Hi-ho, it's off to work you go."
"I guess that makes me Snow White."
"You must be on your way up to see Mopey."
"How's he doing, Sleazy?"

In the fairy tale "Snow White," Snow White does meet seven dwarfs. It was Walt Disney, however, who gave them names and made them sing in the 1937 classic animated film Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. As they go off to their dwarven labor, they sing, "Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work we go!" Because work is AWESOME, you guys. It's totally fun. Especially when you've got names like Happy and Dopey and Sleepy and...are you sensing a pattern? Hence, Logan's and Veronica's fake dwarf names. But what was up with Doc, anyway?

Who's Who bio: Snow White
See all references about Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
Dunkin' Donuts (Organizations, Companies, and Products)

"Time to fake the Donut."

In one of the five best commercials of the 1980s (according to the Television Bureau of Advertising), a portly man in a small baker's cap leaves his house for work and states, "Time to make the donuts," signifying Dunkin' Donuts' commitment to freshness. Somehow, despite Logan's not even being alive when this commercial was popular, he manages to make a clever reference to it. See, it's clever because "fake" rhymes with "make" and "Donut" is a nickname for Duncan! That Logan. He does his research.

Coke (Words, Sayings, and Slogans, Things)
Meth (Words, Sayings, and Slogans, Things)
E (Words, Sayings, and Slogans, Things)

"He's got a pipeline of coke, meth, and E."

Weevil is way too cool to use the entire names of the illegal drugs he sells! Coke is for cocaine, meth is for methamphetamine, and E is for Elmo. I mean, Ecstasy. Though Elmo should really be an illegal drug, seriously.

Who's Who bio: Frank Hardy
See all references about Ecstasy
Emo (Words, Sayings, and Slogans)

"Who's this emo girl?"

Cheer up, emo P.I.! It is difficult to pin down the one true definition of "emo," though the salient point is that the term itself is a shortened form of "emotional" and refers to a musical style and sensibility. But simply having emotions does not make you emo! Emoness is characterized by extreme unhappiness and melancholy, a mood enhanced by the music from whence the term originated. If you want to seem knowledgeable, you can tell people the very first emo band was mid-1980s hardcore punk band Rites of Spring. Like feminism, however, emo has had waves and evolved to encompass not just music but fashion styles (thick, black-rimmed glasses are "emo glasses") and attitudes (complaining about this girl who won't go out with you in your LiveJournal is "being emo").

See all references about Emo
"Private Eyes" (Music)

Vinnie is not wiping the tears from his eyes but making a pair of binoculars with his hands to signify that he will be watching Veronica, possibly even when she takes a shower. Being the fan of Hall & Oates we know he is, he is also likely singing, "Private eyes / They're watching you," in his head.

Call me (Things)

You know how when you use one of those glorified soup cans that allow you to talk to people across long distances, you've got one part of it by your ear so you can hear the other person, and one part by your mouth so you can talk to them? Vinnie is doing that with his fingers to implore Veronica to call him with such a device.

Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball (Sports, Games and Toys)

It is clear that Dick and Logan are playing a volleyball game. What is not apparent, however, is that said game is a spin-off of the popular fighting game series Dead or Alive. Because after you rip out your opponent's spine, you really want to relax on the beach. I suppose we can't fault the game for its existence; how else would men who majored in breast physics get jobs? We're looking forward to Street Fighter Sand Castle Dance Party and Mortal Kombat Bikini Kar Wash.

Whitney Houston (People)
Bobby Brown (People)

"It's not that favor that Bobby Brown does for Whitney, is it?"

Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston are both singers, but the favor Dick refers to has nothing to do with singing. So, pretend you have a jar of marbles and this jar has a very narrow opening. And you ask your partner to reach in and dig out a small marble for you. Now, replace the jar with your posterior and the marbles with the sort of thing that you might find in your posterior, and it becomes clear why Dick would not want to perform this favor for Logan.

Who's Who bio: Whitney Houston
Who's Who bio: Bobby Brown
Osama bin Laden (People)

"Am I hearing you right? Because you'd tell Osama bin Laden before you'd tell me..."

Osama bin Laden is very, very bad. See, he's the leader of al-Qaeda, the terrorist group responsible for the attacks on September 11, 2001. This makes him the #1 Enemy of America. If you haven't heard of him, you must be living under a rock. Which is probably where he's hiding.

Who's Who bio: Osama bin Laden
See all references about al-Qaeda
Late night infomercials (TV, Organizations, Companies, and Products)

"Five thousand dollars, the karma points are yours to keep, and if you act now, I'll throw in a free set of steak knives!"

Capitalism is awesome, you guys. Any schmuck with the slightest bit of ingenuity can hawk his product on TV if he gets Everyman and Everywoman (in addition to a washed-up celebrity) to endorse it. Sure, he'll be relegated to a slot between the hours of two and five in the morning, when most people are sleeping, but that is just the reason why you should always throw in a known-quantity incentive to entice your zombified potential customer! The free set of steak knives is stereotypically popular because Americans sure love to eat steak, and how can you eat your steak without steak knives? It's impossible! Ah, capitalism.

See all references about Late night infomercials
Trevor Hale (Characters)

Trevor Hale is the name of Wallace's high school in Chicago. Trevor Hale is the main character of Cupid, starring Emmy Award winner Jeremy Piven. Rob Thomas is obviously a hack who can't come up with any new ideas.

Who's Who bio: Trevor Hale
See all references about Cupid
What's time to a hog? (Words, Sayings, and Slogans)

"He gave me the 09er discount. Charged me double."
"And you paid it?"
"What's time to a hog?"

This antiquated expression stems from an old joke with multiple variations, although the root of the conflict is thus: A farmer is doing something with his hog. Feeding it, using it to dig up potatoes, whatever. A man of more intellectual acumen, a salesman or Harvard grad, for instance, asks what he's doing, and the farmer answers. The intellectual naturally proclaims that it "takes a lot of time" or "is a waste of time." The farmer responds as Dick does, completely missing the point, as Dick so often does. Just as time means nothing to a hog, money means nothing to an 09er.

World's Largest Roadside Attractions (Organizations, Companies, and Products)

"And when that time comes — and it usually comes quickly in Sleepyburgh or World's Biggest Ball of Stringsville or wherever the hell we are this week."

America. Land of freedom and opportunity. Also, land of the World's Largest Talking Cow (Neillsville, Wisconsin) and the World's Largest...World (Wellesley, Massachusetts). Agent Morris may never have seen the World's Biggest Ball of String in any of the small towns she's been called to, but perhaps she has sat in the World's Largest Office Chair (Anniston, Alabama) or listened to the World's Largest Wind Chimes (Lakeside, California). Hey, everyone needs to feel important. Unfortunately, this need to feel important is not limited to America, as freaking Norwood, South Africa, usurped the title for World's Largest Pizza. Grr.

al-Qaeda (Organizations, Companies, and Products)
Gitmo (Places)

"Sheriff, we have interrogated al-Qaeda members at Gitmo."

Al-Qaeda is the most hated terrorist organization in America, due to their involvement in the September 11 attacks. Terrorists are generally considered more dangerous and feared than blonde teenage detectives. But the most fundamentalist of Muslims is not half as snarky as Veronica Mars. Veronica, however, has never been to Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, which serves as the site of a detainment camp headed by Joint Task Force Guantanamo (JTF-GTMO). Nicknamed "Gitmo," this camp has seen much controversy over the years due to accusations of torture and— Did we say torture? We meant interrogation. Definitely just interrogation. They asked the prisoners questions is all.

Nick Lachey (People)
Jessica Simpson (People)

"Nick and Jessica. Is nothing sacred?"

Nick Lachey of 98 Degrees and Jessica Simpson of...Jessica Simpson were the perfect couple. Pretty, popular, and on their very own MTV reality show, Newlyweds. AND THEN THEY GOT A DIVORCE OMG. Do you see the capital letters? Do you see the use of Netspeak? Do you understand Veronica's reaction now? It was hipster ironic, by the way. Just like ours.

Who's Who bio: Nick Lachey
Brer Rabbit (Characters, Religion, Folklore, and Urban Legends)

"Don't bother. Duncan hates Mexico."
"Is that so, Brer Rabbit?"

Folklore is rife with trickster characters. Loki. Anansi. Ashton Kutcher. Brer Rabbit (short for "Brother Rabbit") is the trickster character in African-American folklore. The best-known tale is "Brer Rabbit and the Tar Baby," in which Brer Rabbit pleads with Brer Fox not to throw him into the briar patch when, in fact, that is exactly what he wants him to do, as he was "born and bred in the briar patch." Reverse psychology! Naturally, then, when Veronica insists that Duncan hates Mexico, Lamb suspects that Duncan was born and bred in Mexico. Which he wasn't, but Lamb isn't that bright.

Sam and Ralph (TV, Characters)

"Mornin', Sam."
"Mornin', Ralph."

Sam and Ralph were a sheepdog and wolf, respectively, in the Looney Tunes cartoons of yore. You know, the ones with EXTREME amounts of violence that were considered suitable for children under five? Those were the days. Anyway, Sam's job was to protect the sheep from Ralph, whose job it was to eat the sheep. The key word in that last sentence was job. The cartoons often began with the two characters clocking into work while exchanging pleasantries and and often ended with them clocking out similarly. The idea was that the conflict between them was nothing personal, just business. It's a perfect way to describe the relationship between Veronica and Vinnie, who, though professional adversaries, don't harbor any genuine malice for each other.

Blow (Words, Sayings, and Slogans, Things)
Crank (Words, Sayings, and Slogans, Things)

"What can I get you? A little crank? Some blow?"

Sean is not offering Weevil a metal tool or, um, some kind of job but a little methamphetamine, some cocaine.

LeBron James (People)

"Yeah, he's the best high school player in the nation. This year's LeBron James."

In 2003, LeBron James was drafted by the Cleveland Cavaliers to play professional basketball. He was eighteen. EIGHTEEN. And then he got a $95 million endorsement contract with Nike. You're not allowed to become that rich out of high school! Punk kid.

Who's Who bio: LeBron James
See all references about LeBron James
Dimebag (Words, Sayings, and Slogans, Things)

"The Fitzpatricks. They take a blowtorch to you if you're short a dimebag."

A dimebag is a bag of illegal drugs worth a mere dime. Ten cents! Why would the Fitzpatricks care so much about ten cents?! Oh, wait, ten dollars. Why would the Fitzpatricks care so much about ten dollars?! They shouldn't, and that's Sean's point.

Jimmy Hoffa (People)

"A couple months in, he disappears like Jimmy Hoffa."

Jimmy Hoffa was President of the International Brotherhood of Teamsters. Now, ever since Magneto put together the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants, we're pretty suspicious of any organization with the word "Brotherhood" in the name. And, sure enough, the IBT had Mafia ties like nobody's business. Except, of course, the family business. Har, har. Hoffa was finally convicted for attempted bribery of a grand juror and served time in prison. On July 30, 1975, on his way to meet two Mafia leaders, however, he disappeared as few people had disappeared before. No one has any clue what happened to him or even whether he's alive or dead.

Who's Who bio: Jimmy Hoffa
Richard Bach (People)
Lost (TV)

This simple fortune has layers of meaning way behind anything Veronica imagined. The fortune itself bears a strange resemblance to "Real love stories never have endings," something New Age author Richard Bach said when he wasn't writing about seagulls ascending to higher planes of existence. Hey! Something's going on here. Either he was reading a lot of Confucius, or the fortune-cookie industry sure likes seagulls. And below, we find 4 8 15 16 23 42. The Numbers are bad! These six numbers play a prominent role on Lost, where they seem to be following the castaways throughout their entire lives, even before they were stranded on the mysterious island. While their appearance here was undoubtedly meant as a gesture of goodwill toward the time-slot rival, one can also theorize that Duncan is an operative of the Hanso Foundation. The head of which seems to be...Richard Bach!

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