2.06 "Rat Saw God"
Aired Nov 09, 2005
- Rats Saw God (Literature)
Episode Title: "Rat Saw God"
Rats Saw God is a young adult novel by Rob Thomas. No, not the singer for Matchbox 20. Yes, that Rob Thomas. Our Rob Thomas. Featuring a Logan-like protagonist, Rats Saw God is an unsurprisingly awesome... Hello? Anyone still reading this? Oh, you all ran to the store to buy the book as soon as you saw "Logan-like," didn't you. Rats.
- Club Fed (Places)
"Our lawyers say if he ever sets foot on U.S. soil, he's looking at 10 to 15 at Club Fed."
A euphemism for any low-security prison for white-collar criminals, Club Fed is a play on Club Med, a chain of resorts. 10 to 15 years? Doesn't sound so bad, and it certainly wouldn't require any Michael Scofield-style tattoos to break old Big Dick out.
- Barbara and Jenna Bush (People)
"I thought I'd go more Bush twin-style. You know, public drunkenness, sluttiness, and minor scandals."
First Daughters of the United States, Barbara and Jenna Bush made headlines for their underage drinking, possession of fake IDs, and general debauchery. They must make their father very proud. Gia hopes to do the same for her dad, the new mayor of Neptune.
- Who's Who bio: Bush Twin
- Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen (People)
"And I'd like to be the cream filling of an Olsen twin sandwich, but —"
Dude, two famous Twin references within a minute of each other? Sounds like some writer's got a fetish! Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen got their start by jointly playing Michelle Tanner on Full House. All grown up now and favorites of the paparazzi, Mary-Kate and Ashley have had their share of personal troubles.
- Who's Who bio: Olsen Twin
- Douche chill (Words, Sayings, and Slogans)
Celebrates a burn, a snap, a good comeback. Alternatively, may indicate a very awkward situation. I think. I'm old. Said by Tobias Funke on Arrested Development, although googling indicates that it may have originated with Howard Stern.
- Sally Field (People)
"Oh, wow, I'm stunned. You like me! You really like me!"
Although Logan is misquoting Sally Field's famous Oscar acceptance speech, the intent is clear. Sally Field, a woman who began her career playing roles like Gidget and the Flying Nun (and seriously, did you guys know that their explanation for how she flew was that her wimple caught the wind? That's, like, the most ridiculous thing ever, and I just learned it recently), won her second Oscar in 1985 and gave that immortal and often-misquoted speech. Wait, two Oscars?
- See all references about Sally Field
- Black AmEx (Religion, Folklore, and Urban Legends, Organizations, Companies, and Products)
"…put the bail on my black AmEx, and call me a limo."
The black AmEx began as an urban legend about a card issued by American Express to its ultra-rich customers that would allow them to buy absolutely anything. Unfortunately, American Express had to go and ruin the fun by issuing a real black American Express card, called the Centurion. You can't apply for it; you can only be invited to get one, and it apparently offers unparalleled customer service and allows its holders all kinds of VIP treatment. Lucky bastards.
- Tara Reid (People)
"You mean like, 'There's Tara Reid passed out on the beach' Ibiza?"
Tara Reid went from fresh-faced all-American girl in the American Pie movies to slutty hobag in, like, record time. She's notorious for her partying and her breast exposing and her total ridiculousness the world over.
- Who's Who bio: Tara Reid
- T-shirt: "And all I got was this lousy T-shirt" (Organizations, Companies, and Products)
"Well, at least you got to go to Europe."
"And all I got was this lousy T-shirt."
Whatever the original "my [blank] went to [blank] and all I got was this lousy T-shirt" T-shirt was has been lost to the sands of time. But I'm betting it was Disney. Or Vegas. Whatever the first, they're ubiquitous now, although in this case, the saying's actually accurate. Dave went to Europe and he really did get a lousy T-shirt, and it doesn't even say "...and all I got was this lousy T-shirt"! So weird!
- Girls Gone Wild (TV)
"She's hardly the Girls Gone Wild type."
Girls Gone Wild is the sleazy, disgusting, gross, voyeuristic, evidence-of-our-society's-imminent-destruction straight-to-video semi-porn series that shows, well, girls going wild. Pretty self-explanatory actually. And, um, forget all that editorializing above. I was just trying to appeal to our more conservative readers.
- See all references about Girls Gone Wild
- Greek Booze Cruise (Events)
"I practically had to put a gun to her head just to get her to do the Greek Booze Cruise last year."
A Greek Booze Cruise is when one or more fraternities or sororities goes out on a boat with...booze. I guess that one was pretty self-explanatory, too.
- Fred MacMurray (People)
"Nothing melts an operator's heart like an overwrought Fred MacMurray."
Perhaps best known from My Three Sons, Fred MacMurray was famous for…oh, who am I kidding. I've never seen anything he's been in. I'm sure Cliff did a bang-up impression of him being a worried father, though. Hey, his first role on IMDb is in a movie called Girls Gone Wild! It was released in 1929, though, so it's probably a safe bet that there weren't any naked chicks making out with each other.
- Who's Who bio: Fred MacMurray
- Thelma and Louise (Movies)
"Isn't that Thelma and Louise?"
The chick-flick to end all chick-flicks, Thelma and Louise stars Susan Sarandon and Geena Davis as women on the run from the law. It was also the first time I ever saw Brad Pitt's ass, so, you know, good times.
- Chip off the old block (Words, Sayings, and Slogans)
"So, Chip, how about you thank me by taking the old Block's advice.
Get a new lawyer."
When someone says someone else is a chip off the old block, they're implying that the person is like their parent. So, you see Cliff's point: Logan is just like Aaron! With the womanizing and the getting in trouble with the law and the murdering...oh, wait. Not so much with the last one. But still, you see Cliff's point.
- Jennifer Lopez (People)
"Hey, why the long face? Somebody rip down your J.Lo calendar?"
Nickname for Jennifer Lopez, Latina actress/singer/rumored-diva-bitch. J.Lo is also the name of her line of clothing-wear. Hey, maybe Hector just had a calendar featuring Ms. Lopez's clothing designs! Probably not.
- Who's Who bio: Jennifer Lopez
- Ellen (TV)
"Best thing about two days in jail – two days' worth of Ellen on the TiVo. That's a sweet feeling."
Ellen is Ellen DeGeneres's eponymous talk show in which she dances, acts goofy, and, like, interviews people. Maybe Logan namechecks the show because he just really wants to go on it?
TiVo, the sweet, sweet god of television. We worship at your altar. Ahem. TiVo is a device that allows users to record programs digitally with no tricky VCR programming, play back shows at their leisure, and fast forward through commercials and such. Oh, TiVo, how I love you so.
- Who's Who bio: Ellen DeGeneres
- Staind (Characters)
"...some of us were going up to see the Staind show."
Staind is a modern-rock band most famous for hits like "It's Been Awhile," "So Far Away," and "Everything Changes." Now excuse me while I go play some Prince to get "It's Been Awhile" out of my head.
- Who's Who bio: Staind
- Jawohl (Words, Sayings, and Slogans)
"Wow, you speak German?"
- Say Anything... (Movies)
"...otherwise, unless you get lucky at the Gas 'n' Sip, your options are pretty limited around here."
Sigh. Lloyd Dobler was so dreamy. Ahem. In one of this most excellent 1989 movie's most excellent scenes, Lloyd asks a group of guys the following question: "If you guys know so much about women, how come you're here at like the Gas 'n' Sip on a Saturday night completely alone drinking beers with no women anywhere?" Anyway, whether or not Rob Thomas was shouting out to the best '80s movie ever is debatable, but just remember: "By choice!"
- See all references about Say Anything...
- Bluetooth (Organizations, Companies, and Products)
PalmPilot (Organizations, Companies, and Products)
"Speaking of technology, my Bluetooth connection is detecting Amelia's PalmPilot."
A Bluetooth is one of them newfangled gizmos the kids are so crazy about. It lets its user send messages to any other users with cell phones, PDAs, laptops, etc, within a certain range. Grumble. I bet the kids use it for the porn and whatnot.
Palm Pilots were among the first generation of the now-ubiquitous PDAs, personal digital assistants. Why, back in MY day, we just used a calendar!
- Leo Tolstoy (Literature, People)
Ivan Turgenev (Literature, People)
"I just got my psychology degree, and now I'm reading the Russian masters... Tolstoy, Turgenev. You know."
Count Lev Nikolayevich Tolstoy, or Leo Tolstoy, was the Russian author of the very famous War and Peace and Anna Karenina. For more information, you might want to check wikipedia, because I've, like, never read anything of his.
Ivan Sergeyevich Turgenev was a Russian novelist and playwright. His most famous work is Fathers and Sons. Aaaand that's all I've got. Y'all, I don't read a lot of Russian literature. Sorry.
- Who's Who bio: Leo Tolstoy
- Who's Who bio: Ivan Turgenev
- 15 minutes of fame (Ideas and Concepts)
"So, did you come here today to thank me, Keith? You know, for your 15 minutes? 'Cause if it wasn't for me, no one would have bought that hack book of yours."
15 minutes of fame is the common expression (coming originally from Andy Warhol, who predicted that, "In the future everyone will be famous for 15 minutes.") for someone's limited time in the spotlight. Some examples of people who enjoyed 15 minutes of fame are such "celebrities" as Kato Kaelin, John Bobbitt, and Joey Buttafuoco. Of course, with the advent of reality television, Warhol appears to have been psychic. Now we've got William Hung, Evan Marriott, Jonathan Baker, etc. etc. ad infinitum.
- Grassy knoll (Places)
"You know, they give you enough press, you'd find a way to put me on the grassy knoll."
The grassy knoll is where the alleged second shooter in the Kennedy assassination supposedly shot from. Now, we would never consider ourselves conspiracy theorists, but something about the facts of that day…they just don't add up. Or we've been watching too many Oliver Stone movies. Anyway, grassy knoll has now come to be slang indicating any kind of suspected conspiracy or cover-up.
- Martha Stewart (People)
"And the other sweet thing is I'm in constant video contact with Martha Stewart, right?"
Martha Stewart is the Queen of the World! Actually, she's just the host of Martha, but she's also famous for her participation in and eventual jailing for a stock market scandal. Hey, she stayed at a Club Fed! It all comes full circle with this show.
- Who's Who bio: Martha Stewart
- See all references about Martha Stewart
- Dick Tracy (Literature)
"...kind of like a Dick Tracy kind of thing."
Dick Tracy is the super-detecting, crime-avenging, gadget-using hero of first a comic strip, then comic books, and finally a movie where he had the misfortune of being played by Warren Beatty and being involved with Madonna. He is famous for using fancy gadgets, which is what Logan is referring to.
- Who's Who bio: Dick Tracy
- ESL (Things)
"Okay, I'll translate, just don't tell the ESL teacher I helped you cheat."
ESL is shorthand for English as a Second Language: an excellent classroom program that helps immigrants and the children of immigrants catch up to their peers in English. Logan might need to put more thought into his snappy comments, though, as Weevil clearly speaks English better than he speaks Spanish.
- Mi casa es su casa (Words, Sayings, and Slogans)
"That's right. Su casa es mi casa."
Mi casa es su casa means "my house is your house" in Spanish. It's used to indicate to guests that they should make themselves at home. Or, the way Logan uses it, it's used to indicate that he bought someone's house in order to evict them, 'cause that's just how he rolls.
- What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas (Words, Sayings, and Slogans)
"You know the drill, Veronica. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas."
The unofficial slogan for Sin City, a.k.a. Las Vegas, the phrase has been used the world over to convince normally law-abiding folk that they can lie, cheat, and steal, so long as they do it while they're in Vegas. It's like how when you get free ice cream, the calories don't count.