2.05 "Blast from the Past"
Aired Oct 26, 2005
Veronica: Can I guess? You got a sweet love hangover and you don't need no cure.
Mr. Wu: As you know, Homecoming season is upon us.
Veronica: Much like the plague.
Veronica: You know sometimes, when I'm feeling a little, I don't know, glum, I like to get a little Pirate love.
Mr. Wu: Veronica.
Veronica: I'd like to nominate Wallace Fennel!
Corny: I'd like to nominate Veronica Mars!
Ashley Banks: Like, ironically?
Corny: Yeah, she's badass, smokin' hot, and overall nice to come home to.
Logan: Hm, Zippy the Pinhead with a smashing idea.
Ashley Banks: My ass'd make a better Homecoming Queen.
Mandy: We should nominate Veronica. She deserves it. Remember when she helped me find my dog? She was totally nice to me even though we barely knew each other. Plus, she found Polly the parrot last year.
Logan: Veronica Mars: saving the world, one pointless act at a time.
Jackie: Wait, wait, wait, let me get this straight — no alcohol, no dimly lit corners, and I'm not allowed to freak, grind, and/or mosh? Ahh, what's the allure of Homecoming again, besides the chance to wear pink taffeta and cheek shimmer?
Cora: It's really all about the afterparty. The dance itself is more like a means to an end.
Jackie: Cora, I'm kidding. I want it all: the corsage, the photos under the balloon arch, the clandestine loving with my age-appropriate date...with the focusing problem. Hey! Dreamweaver.
Wallace: Could you just keep this to yourself? I just need to figure things out before—
Jackie: What? Are you guys still planning my surprise party?
Veronica: Hi, Jackie.
Jackie: Bye, Veronica.
Wallace: I better go take care of that.
Veronica: You are aware that "blanketing the electorate" is like a figure of speech? ...What's that smell?
Keith: A buddy of mine in sanitation called. One of his crews found those in a dumpster downtown.
Veronica: At least Lamb has the sense not to use the dumpster behind the sheriff's department.
Keith: Ahhh, look, Veronica, your father's campaign is riding on a gravy train with biscuit wheels. Woody's numbers guys just called to say I've got a twelve-point lead. I don't need to roll around in the mud with Lamb.
Veronica: In that case, it sounds like you don't need a photographer from the Neptune Navigator who knows how to shoot your good side?
Keith: I got nothing but good sides, baby.
Madame Sophie: Your grandma wants me to remind you that you're a risk taker, with an...if-it-feels-good-do-it approach to love. You're, uh, supercharged, you're wired, you're ready for action.
Jackie: That lady oughta know — she was married four times.
Veronica: Lip balm? It's a surge of lip-quenching fruit flavor.
Jackie: I think she hit every store in the mall.
Veronica: Except for Unicornicopia!
Wallace: How many kneecaps did you break to make that happen?
Veronica: Only like four. The people have spoken, my friend.
Logan: There's always Winter Carnival. (gasp) Veronica can be a Ice Princess!
Jackie: Can we skate on her?
Veronica Voiceover: Talk about Fashion Police. I'm on a stakeout for a pair of enhanced lips, a fifty-dollar push-up bra, a vintage purse, and...blingo! Why buy the cow when you can score a $1200 calfskin jacket on your friend's credit card?
Veronica: You have amazing taste, Cora.
Cora: You know who I am?
Veronica: Eighth grade badminton partner? You never forget someone you've been in the foxhole with.
Duncan: So I was thinking. You're an emancipated minor. I'm an emancipated minor. Maybe we should get together Thursday night. Chug cough syrup, mug some old ladies.
Logan: Oh, golly, I don't know. I was thinking about staying home, making a hope quilt for the lonely.
Veronica: It's weird that you live here. I don't want you going all Howard Hughes-y on me.
Duncan: I am not a shut-in. These nails? Neatly trimmed. Though, now that you mention it, I have started bottling my own urine.
Duncan: Hey, what do you say we invite some people over here for an afterparty?
Veronica: Afterparty? After what?
Duncan: The Homecoming dance? The thing after the big game?
Veronica: Oh. Tell me more of this thing you call "Homecoming."
Duncan: I haven't asked you yet. I'm such a dope. Of course I want you to go with me. You're my woman.
Veronica: See? Was that so hard? Okay, I'll be needing an orchid wristlet, preferably in the fuchsia family, a Rolls Royce limo...and some Kane Software stationery.
Duncan: Seriously? Stationery? What for?
Veronica: You're here for your looks. Why don't you leave the heavy thinking to me, sugarpants. Now go make yourself pretty.
Duncan: You sure you want to do this?
Logan: Does a bear wear a funny hat?
Duncan: You know this visit's all about mending fences, building bridges, and I'm afraid that my waxing your ass just isn't going to help.
Logan: Woo hoo. You talk it; let's see you walk it.
Madame Sophie: You'll see, honey. You're going to do just fine at those baton-twirling tryouts.
Veronica Voiceover: Apparently, the dead are looking out for the shallow. I, on the other hand, am here for emotional guidance from dead-before-his-time Uncle Roger, who I gushed about ad nauseum to crazy, big-haired lady with the rhinestone glasses.
Veronica: Chesty LaRue. Hey, Duncan. I'm fine, I'm slathering up my boobs as we speak.
Wallace: You okay, Veronica?
Veronica: Compared to how your girlfriend's gonna be feeling, fan-friggin'-tastic. I hope she really got a kick out of tonight's little performance.
Wallace: What are you talking about? She was worried for you.
Veronica: If by "worried" you mean "enjoying the fruits of her evil labor," yeah.
Keith: Honey, you have a gentleman caller. You got the emphasis on the gentleman part, right?
Duncan: I did.
Keith: Tell Wallace I'm pulling for him.
Duncan: Hm. Not feeling the Mars family love. Tough crowd.
Veronica: Oh, come on. It's like rootin' for the Yankees.
Veronica: Jackie, you want to lock horns with me, duck and charge. But if you think I'm gonna let you break Wallace's heart for sport you have grossly underestimated my wrath.
Keith: Is that you and the governor?
Lamb: Governor? That's a marlin I hooked down in Cabo last year. Is your eyesight starting to fail?