2.02 "Driver Ed"
Aired Oct 05, 2005
- Say Anything... (Movies)
"Okay, I'll help you, but you must chill."
In the classic Cameron Crowe film Say Anything..., Lloyd Dobler coins a new catchphrase by responding to Mark the Gas N' Sip Boy's pleas for his keys with "You must chill! You must chill! I have hidden your keys!" Veronica has hidden nothing from Jessie, but she urges the loose cannon in the girls' restroom to Doblerize, all the while reaffirming to the children of the world that "must" is an important part of the English language.
- See all references about Say Anything...
- Clerks (Movies)
Guest Star: Kevin Smith as Duane Anders, a clerk
With dialogue so filthy we can't reprint it here, Clerks made Kevin Smith a household name in the world of indie film in 1994...the households that generally consisted of ramshackle apartments with an Xbox and a stray cat, that is. While he did not actually play a clerk in his debut film, his role here is a clear homage. Dante Hicks would be proud.
- "Afternoon Delight" (Music)
This Starland Vocal Band song from 1976 is about delight...in the afternoon. We think you can figure out exactly what the song is about from Logan and Kendall's activities, unlike certain members of the Bluth family.
- Good Will Hunting (Movies)
"Veronica, it's not your fault."
"I'm afraid that line only works in Good Will Hunting."
Veronica refers to an emotional scene in the 1997 film written by Ben Affleck and Matt Damon back when they were still best friends. In the scene, Will's psychiatrist, Sean, repeats the line "It's not your fault" to Will to make him believe that his abusive past has nothing to do with him. Despite the power of the scene, these four simple words would not normally be associated with Good Will Hunting on any day of the week. It's almost as if someone examined Duncan's line and thought about an appropriate pop culture reference to use as a response. Amazing!
- The Munsters (TV)
"But if we've been getting a lot of Munsters in here, I'd say that you're the Marilyn, hon, 'cause you're...pretty."
In 1964, CBS decided to counter ABC's The Addams Family with a kooky family of their own: the Munsters. The family comprised ghoulish creatures like Herman, who looked like Frankenstein; Eddie, who looked like a werewolf...because he was; Grandpa, who looked like a sexagenarian Dracula; and Lily, who looked like, appropriately, the Bride of Frankenstein. And then there was Marilyn, who looked like she walked in from another show altogether: pretty, blonde, and perfectly human. Just like our Veronica.
- Who's Who bio: Marilyn Munster
- "Close to You" (Music)
"Honestly, and really tell me the truth, how much of an ass-kiss would I be if I admit it's to be close to you? Seriously, why do birds suddenly appear every time you're near?"
Written by Burt Bacharach and popularized by the Carpenters, this incredibly sappy song describes a guy who is plagued by birds, stars (like, the ones in the sky), and girls following him around just to be close to him, like he's soooooo special and amazing. If Veronica's assessment is correct, Lamb also has moondust in his hair and starlight in his eyes. Now do you appreciate the true depth of Veronica's sarcasm?
- The Oprah Winfrey Show (TV)
"If I die unexpectedly, do me a favor. Go on Oprah and tell the world I loved kittens."
Oprah's talk show is known for its "compassion and intimacy," the kind of emotions that resurrect literary classics and give away free cars. It is entirely possible that at some point in the show's history, someone has actually gone on the show and proclaimed that their deceased friend loved kittens, but we're not going through the archives.
- Who's Who bio: Oprah Winfrey
- Stand and Deliver (Movies)
"'Cervando wept the first time he saw Stand and Deliver.' Where do they even get that stuff?"
It's not hard to see why Cervando would have found this 1988 film, based on a true story, inspiring. Telling the tale of Jaime Escalante, a dedicated teacher who blessed his students with knowledge of calculus, it argued that Hispanic youth could do so much more than steal cars, engage in knife fights, and punch rich white boys in the face. It's a shame Cervando never got a chance to integrate Weevil's derivative, if you get our drift...okay, we don't get it either.
- Never Been Kissed (Movies)
Drew Barrymore (People)
"She doesn't go here. She's a reporter. Think Drew Barrymore in Never Been Kissed. Hey, if Drew's in it, I seen it."
Wallace refers to the 1999 film in which Drew Barrymore plays a journalist who goes undercover as a high school student to research a story. Because no one would ever, ever question a twenty-five-year-old woman pretending to be a teenager. Also, according to Wallace's statement, he's seen Waxwork II: Lost in Time, Motorama, and The Adventures of Con Sawyer and Hucklemary Finn.
- Who's Who bio: Drew Barrymore
- Jacqueline Lee Bouvier Kennedy Onassis (People)
"Umm, who was that kissing you?"
"That was Jackie."
Look. Wallace says "Jackie." Veronica says "Oh." "Jackie" + "Oh" = Jackie O., as in First Lady to John F. Kennedy. Known for her pillbox hat and her savoir-faire, she had very little in common with Jackie Cook that we can tell. Maybe Veronica just really likes making references to First Ladies. Future conversations could go like this: "That was Martha."/"Wash." "That was Abigail."/"Ad." "That was Hillary."/"Clint." These kids and their new slang.
- Who's Who bio: Jackie Onassis