1.16 "Betty and Veronica"
Aired Mar 29, 2005
- Archie (Literature)
Episode title: "Betty and Veronica"
"Hi. I'm… [long pause] Betty."
"At my old school, I was Horny. We were the Rhinos. I was the mascot."
"And what school was that?"
Archie is a comic book series that depicts the lives of a group of squeaky-clean teens in the fictional town of Riverdale. Archie Andrews, Betty Cooper, and Veronica Lodge are three of the main characters. While undercover at Pan High, Veronica tells Pan's star basketball player Richie that she is a transfer student named Betty from Riverdale High. Her references to the Archie comics obviously go over Richie's head since he buys her cover story hook, line, and sinker. But then again, who in their right minds would expect today's average teen to get a reference to this old-fashioned, out-of-date comic strip?
- Wildlife Alliance (Organizations, Companies, and Products)
Valley Girl (Movies)
"I never donated to the Wildlife Alliance, yet I kept that stupid pencil sharpener they sent. Wiedman was listening when I booked my flight to Barstow. I should have left right from the dance, but I didn't want my mother to see me for the first time in a year looking like an extra from Valley Girl. It seemed important at the time."
The Wildlife Alliance is the name shared by three independent conservation groups in Maine, Alaska, and Oklahoma. They all focus on the preservation of natural resources and animal wildlife. Veronica's love for animals made it easy for Wiedman's bug to make it into her bedroom and for him to overhear her making travel plans to see her mother. Ever hear of Expedia.com, Veronica? On a completely unrelated note, Valley Girl is a 1983 romantic comedy about a teenager from Encino Valley, California, who falls in love with an urban punk played by Nicolas Cage. Veronica compares her outfit from Neptune High;s '80s dance to some of the movie's costume choices, but no one in the movie was nearly that hot.
- "Call Me Super Bad" (Music)
"Do you need to jump back and kiss yourself? ‘Cause I can wait."
Sometimes I feel so nice, good Lord!
I jump back, I wanna kiss myself!
I've got soul, huh, and I'm super bad, HEY!
I said I'm super bad
Veronica thinks Wallace must be singing this classic James Brown tune in his head while he talks trash and displays his superior basketball skills during practice. Wallace laughs in response to her question, though a loud "Hey!" would have been a more fitting tribute to the Godfather of Soul.
- Sally Field (People)
"They like you! They really like you!"
While Wallace walks down the hall at Neptune High receiving praise and practicing complex hand shakes with fans (sounding out the moves as he proceeds), Veronica is by his side, mis-quoting Sally Field's famous Oscar acceptance speech. The tearful actress actually ended with: "I can't deny the fact that you like me. Right now, you like me!" Wallace definitely could have said this, but he might have gotten a few strange looks from his friends. Veronica's version is a little more palatable.
- See all references about Sally Field
- Mae West (People)
"Wow, your own cookies?"
"Snickerdoodles. And they just appear in my locker, just like that. Open my locker, bam. Homemade cookies. And that's not all."
"A peeled grape?"
"Beulah, peel me a grape." This famous quote is from actress and sex symbol Mae West in her role as a high-society entertainer in the 1933 film I'm No Angel. Mae's quippy one-liners are often repeated and parodied and have become a fixture in American culture. Veronica teases Wallace about his newfound status as high school royalty, but since she's the baker of his mysterious snickerdoodles, we know she really loves giving Wallace an ego-boost.
- Orangina (Organizations, Companies, and Products)
"Pan High, the Un-Neptune. Just 15 miles away, but when those miles are heading inland, there are no yacht clubs and no five million dollar homes with coastal views. The parking lot is full of American-made cars from the '90s, and the vending machines don't carry Orangina."
This carbonated orange- and lemon-juice drink is sold in cute little glass bottles and was first produced in Algeria in 1936. It gained popularity in North America only recently, and Veronica seems to equate it with wealth. Perhaps Orangina is popular among rich kids in Neptune because they're the only ones willing to pay a dollar or more for an eight-ounce (250 ml) bottle of juice.
- Google (Places)
"A day in the life of a human Google. Always in search mode. One moment tracking down the absurd — parrots and goats, metaphors for a school pride I don't possess — and an hour or two later, going after the appalling — the murderer of a teenage girl."
Veronica compares herself to the popular internet search engine Google. The main difference between these two searching wizards is that while Veronica uses her skills to search for the truth, people use Google to search for porn, porn, and more porn.
- See all references about Google
- Cyndi Lauper (Music)
"Well, I guess things don't just stop, do they? There's still birthdays and dances and Christmas."
"No, there's really not."
"You remember that time you wanted to shave your hair like Cyndi Lauper?"
Lianne couldn't be more wrong when she assumes that nothing has changed for Veronica during her mother's year-long absence. She even reflects on a carefree time when Veronica wanted her hair to look like eccentric pop singer Cyndi Lauper's 'do. Kind of like a young Kristen Bell wanting to be named after the cartoon character Smurfette. Ah, I love the '80s.
- Philip Marlowe (Characters)
Sam Spade (Characters)
"You got a weird call yesterday. The bank wanted to let you know you were overdrawn. I thought you were squirreling away all that college money."
"Must be a mistake. Forgot a decimal or something? Or I blew it on dames and horses."
There's no specific reference here, but Veronica's "dames and horses" line pays homage to pulp fiction detectives of the 1930s and 40s, such as Philip Marlowe and Sam Spade. Veronica actually blew her money trying to reunite her family, but she isn't ready to tell that to Keith. So she does what she does best — she lies to him. Tsk-tsk, Veronica.
- Who's Who bio: Philip Marlowe
- See all references about Philip Marlowe
- Starbucks (Organizations, Companies, and Products)
"Guess you couldn't tell Dad you were in a hotel with your ex."
"It wasn't like that."
"It doesn't matter what it was like, Mom."
"I just went there to talk to him."
"On the one day all the Starbucks were closed."
The day every Starbucks coffee shop in this nation-wide franchise closes will be the day the earth stands still. Or the day Starbucks goes out of business. Whichever comes first. Veronica reminds her mother that two ex-lovers meeting in a hotel room, when they both happen to be married to other people, is plain wrong.
- Sports betting (Sports, Games and Toys)
"Well, hey, Betty. I just learned that Zeke here bet $200 on Neptune."
"Richie! They're 14 and 6, we're 6 and 14. I mean, there's no line. I'd be crazy to pass this up."
"Why would a bookie take bets on a team to win straight up, no line, if one team is heavily favoured?"
"H-he wouldn't. A bookie usually tries to find a line on a game in which half the money gets bet on one team and half the money gets bet on the other. They make their money on commission. If a bookie accepts bets that are all on one side of the line, he's, well, he's either going to make a killing or he's gonna get killed."
"Why would he risk it?"
"I don't know. Maybe he knows something that the people who are betting don't."
Bookies are adventurous risk-takers, but they rarely make choices that are likely to cost them money. Deputy Leo explains to Veronica why a bookie shouldn't — but might — take bets on a game with no line. A line is a certain number of points a team is handicapped when their opponents are favored. For example, if Neptune High is the favored basketball team, and Pan High is handicapped ten points, then the line is ten. Neptune High would have to win the basketball game by at least eleven points to cover the line so that the people who bet on Neptune could collect on their winnings. But this game has no line, which means that Neptune High simply has to win and the people who bet on it would win. The bookie, who just happens to be Weevil, would be a fool to accept so many bets on Neptune High. Unless he knew the game was fixed and that Pan High was going to win the game. Hmmm...clear as mud?
- Happy Days (TV)
"Okay, all I'm saying is I'm not the only one. There's a bookie that set up camp at Rest Stop 15…"
"What's Rest Stop 15?"
"It's halfway between here and Neptune. It's like a cross between Inspiration Point and Tijuana. It overlooks the ocean, people go there to park. Plus guys sell stuff out of their trunks. You can get your hands on anything — beer, weed, porn, car stereos. That's what I'm told."
Inspiration Point, as seen on ABC's long-running television program Happy Days, was the name of the off-road location where teenagers sat in parked cars and made out. Tijuana is a decadent city in Baja, California, known for its free-flowing alcohol, women, and drugs. And stolen goods. Richie informs Veronica that Rest Stop 15 has the best of both worlds, which means stoned teenagers sit in their cars making out, drinking alcohol, and buying stolen merchandise. Their parents must be proud.
- See all references about Happy Days
- Looking for love in all the wrong places (Words, Sayings, and Slogans)
"Hey there, buddy. Looking for love in all the wrong places?"
The phrase "looking for love in all the wrong places" was made popular by Waylon Jenning's song "Lookin' for Love." The phrase reflects man's often misguided attempts to find love. Wilson goes to the teen make-out spot Rest Stop 15 looking to spending time with a very flirty blonde who thinks he's a hero for stealing Neptune High's parrot. Unfortunately for Wilson, instead of finding everlasting love, or at the very least a five-minute quickie, he only finds a very menacing biker who thinks he's a zero for lying about stealing said parrot.
- Polly want a cracker? (Words, Sayings, and Slogans)
"Where's the bird, Wilson? I'm nearly bursting with Pirate pride here. Weevil wanna punch a cracker."
"Polly's kidnapping is more than just a juvenile school prank. It is an act of terrorism."
"Wow. Polly wanna payback."
The origins of Polly the parrot and this expression are debatable, but it's come to signify a common phrase that parrot owners teach their birds when training the parrots to talk. Weevil varies the words a little and lets Wilson know that he feels like punching the little white kid who claims to have stolen the school mascot, Polly. And in the spirit of "Hey, if the joke was funny the first time, it'll be twice as funny the second time," Veronica reacts to emotional letters to the school newspaper about Polly's kidnapping.
- Hell (Words, Sayings, and Slogans)
"All right. Look, I know what you're talking about, but I didn't take the parrot, I swear to God."
"Someone's going to H-E-double hockey sticks."
"H-E-double hockey sticks" is the nonprofane way of describing HELL (with all caps). It's the final destination for high school students who steal school mascots then lie about it. Weevil, the good Catholic boy that he is, informs Wilson of his fate.
- See all references about The Bible
- Air Jordans (Organizations, Companies, and Products)
"This was Jack's idea. I don't even know how I got stuck with the damn thing. I had it in the guest house and it ate everything: the rug, the sofa, my Air Jordans."
"And he lived to tell the tale?"
Air Jordans are the high-top sneakers named after Michael "Air" Jordan, arguably the best basketball player of all time. First introduced by Nike in 1984, they've undergone several incarnations and are now marketed by Nike under the name "Jumpman23." The sneakers and related merchandise have earned hundreds of millions of dollars for both Nike and Michael Jordan. Air Jordans have always been some of the highest-price sneakers on the shelf, so the goat who ate Wallace's shoes must have expensive taste. Or maybe he's just a goat who eats whatever gets near his mouth. Veronica, unlike Wallace, sees the humor in the situation.
- Carrie (Literature, Movies)
Animal-rights activists (Organizations, Companies, and Products)
"I think she's one of those SAAC girls."
"Yeah, that's gonna need a little further explanation."
"Uh, Students Against Animal Cruelty. They threw the bucket of blood on the homecoming queen a couple of years ago for wearing fur."
"Bucket of blood. Have we learned nothing from Carrie?"
Carrie, the Stephen King novel and 1976 Brian DePalma film, tells the story of a teenage girl with telekinetic powers. As a malicious joke, a group of students rig the election to get Carrie voted prom queen and then pour a bucket of pig's blood on her during the coronation. As a result of this humiliation, Carrie uses her powers to massacre everyone at the prom. Apparently the SAAC girls did not heed the moral of that story. A bucket of blood + one pretty dress = one revengeful dance queen. Starting in the 1990s, militant animal rights activist resorted to throwing buckets of red paint onto fur coats to protest the fur industry. Apparently the SAAC girls VM writers got their signals crossed when they decided to throw blood, not red paint, onto the fur-coat-wearing homecoming queen. A bucket of blood + one fur coat = one mixed-signal protest.
- Humphrey Bogart (People)
"Grab your lip gloss and your pepper spray, sweetheart. Your date's here."
When sending Veronica off on her date with Leo, Keith channels Humphrey Bogart's classic movie roles from the 1940s, where he usually referred to women only as "sweetheart," "doll," "honey," or "angel." But Keith wants his little girl to be prepared for love and war, so he tells her to bring supplies for both.
- Who's Who bio: Humphrey Bogart
- See all references about Humphrey Bogart
- San Diego State University (Places)
Stanford University (Places)
"I've saved nearly every penny since I started working for Dad. I know I can't count on college money from him and I know it kills him that he can't offer. It's gone now. I had enough for four years at San Diego State, a year at Stanford, and a semester at the Sorbonne. Let's hope it's worth it."
Veronica lays out her educational options: San Diego State, the local, state-funded college; Stanford, a private university in Northern California and the Harvard University of the West Coast; or the Sorbonne, the historical university in Paris. Not that it matters much: Veronica spent all of her savings paying for her mother to go into an inpatient alcohol rehabilitation facility. Maybe there's a special private investigator scholarship at one of these universities.
- Big Bear Lake (Places)
"…not knows that there are still thirteen seats left on the Big Bear ski bus for the weekend of the 18th through the 20th. And on a more serious note, the SATs are coming up and the deadline…"
Big Bear Lake, California, boasts top-notch resorts for skiing, biking, golfing, and hiking. Meg informs students during her TV news report that it's still possible to ride on the Neptune High bus for the weekend excusion. She then proceeds to scare everyone into not going by reminding them of the upcoming SATs.
- Michael Jordan (Sports, Games and Toys, People)
"Go kick some ass, Air Fennel."
Michael Jordan, one of the greatest basketball players of all time, got the nickname Air Jordan because of his gravity-defying leaping abilities and highlight-reel-worthy slam dunks. While it was awfully sweet of Veronica to offer these words of support to Wallace before his big game, I'm not sure if 5'6" Wallace deserves such lofty praise.
- Who's Who bio: Michael Jordan
- See all references about Michael Jordan