1.05 "You Think You Know Somebody"

Aired Oct 26, 2004


  • Troy: I've spent the last forty minutes listening to Logan dry heave so you could buy a deformed piñata?

  • Luke: These border checkpoints, man, they always freak me out.

    Logan: Maybe you shouldn't volunteer for the full cavity search.

  • Veronica: Dude. Where's your car?

  • Veronica: Your monkey's gonna have to ride in the back.

    Logan: Ha ha. Nice car. Must have been a huge cereal box.

  • Logan: Thanks for the ride. This mean you're gonna play nice now?

    Veronica: Walk in front of the car. We'll see.

  • Troy: I think this is beyond even your superpowers.

    Veronica: Haven't you heard? I've got friends in low places.

  • Veronica: Let's go back to your house.

    Troy: And...take my mind off my problems?

    Veronica: And get the details on the car. Model. License number. VIN.

    Troy: How do you make VIN sound so hot?

  • Veronica: You'd be surpised what one can find with a few nimble keystrokes.

    Wallace: All right then, Velma, why don't you see what you can find on, say, me?

    Veronica: It's Daphne, thank you very much.

  • Veronica: Wait, if I'm Daphne, what does that make you? Fred?

    Wallace: Oh, no. If I gotta be any of those white boys, I gotta be Shaggy all the way, baby. Shaggy's got mad flavah.

    Veronica: Aww, you still have a subscription to MAD Magazine? You're all about the flavor.

  • Veronica: So for my dad's birthday, I'm thinking...rock climbing?

    Wallace: Because he loves heights?

    Keith: Not so much, but keep thinking outside the box, I like it. And don't wait on me for dinner. I'll probably get takeout from the Italian place.

    Veronica: Luigi's? Will you get me some lasagna?

    Keith: Some lasagna? No, I'm just saying, last time we went to Luigi's, you ate your weight in manicotti.

    Veronica: Aaand now your birthday will be spent skydiving. Alone.

  • Veronica Voiceover: You know those people who can predict when change is coming in their life? I'm not one of them. Change has a way of just walking up and punching me in the face.

  • Veronica: Next time, could you shoot for a real teacher? Beause this has no potential benefit to my grade point average.

  • Veronica Voiceover: The best way to dull the pain of your best friend's murder is to have your mother abandon you as soon as possible. It's like hitting your thumb with a hammer, then when it's throbbing so badly you don't think you'll survive, you cut the damn thing off.

  • Luke: I wanted to get pumped for varsity baseball. I was pretty much down for whatever.

    Veronica: Including shrunken testicles and acne scars. Well, speaking for the women of America, good plan!

  • Keith: Well, I thought, um...

    Rebecca: And, and I agree.

    Keith: ...that if you had the chance to talk...things would seem a little less awkward.

    Veronica: And are you starting to see the catch-22 inherent in the plan?

  • Veronica: I talked to my buddy Earl yesterday at the impound yard.

    Troy: What do I love more? That you actually have a buddy named Earl or that he works at the impound yard?

    Veronica: I'm guessing both.

  • Veronica: Time for a chat?

    Logan: Well. You'd think if Hell froze over, maybe it'd be on the news.

  • Logan: Wow, you suck at this Nancy Drew stuff. You should get a new hobby.

  • Lianne: So...when are we gonna cook for your boy?

    Veronica: We're Mars women. Shouldn't we play to our strengths?

  • Weevil: Maybe I'll buy you a piñata.

    Veronica: Will you buy me a piñata full of steroids?

  • Luke: Am I in trouble? What? God!

    Veronica: We need to talk.

    Luke: All right, well does it have to be next to the feminine hygiene machine?

  • Veronica: One more hour and this might actually constitute a walk of shame.

  • Ms. Dent: Remember, start with light, easy questions first. Let your subject get comfortable.

    Ashley: So, Ms. Mars, how do you respond to rumors that your boyfriend hooked up with strippers in Tijuana last weekend?

    Veronica: Ms. Banks. Have you decided which parent you're going to live with after the divorce? And if I may, a followup: can you believe your father's choice in mistresses?

  • Ms. Dent: You look ready for a fight.

    Veronica: I get that a lot. I guess it's just my usual expression.

  • Keith: I can't do this to Veronica. She's not ready to see me dating yet, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, but she's having a really hard time.

    Rebecca: Can you do me a favor?

    Keith: Of course.

    Rebecca: Can you just tell me it's another reason, like...like a crappy one? Your being a good father isn't really something I can bitch about to my girlfriends over margaritas.

  • Troy: Hey, sexy. Gimme a kiss, make all my troubles disappear?

    Veronica: All your troubles? That would take a lot of kissing. I'm just glad we weren't dating when you were kicked out of those two schools for drug possession and trafficking. My lips would've fallen off!

  • Veronica's Letter: In case you're wondering, the former contents of the package are somewhere between my toilet and the Pacific Ocean. Say hi to Shauna for me! She sounds like a keeper.

-persnicketier, misskiwi

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