1.05 "You Think You Know Somebody"
Aired Oct 26, 2004
Troy: I've spent the last forty minutes listening to Logan dry heave so you could buy a deformed piñata?
Luke: These border checkpoints, man, they always freak me out.
Logan: Maybe you shouldn't volunteer for the full cavity search.
Veronica: Dude. Where's your car?
Veronica: Your monkey's gonna have to ride in the back.
Logan: Ha ha. Nice car. Must have been a huge cereal box.
Logan: Thanks for the ride. This mean you're gonna play nice now?
Veronica: Walk in front of the car. We'll see.
Troy: I think this is beyond even your superpowers.
Veronica: Haven't you heard? I've got friends in low places.
Veronica: Let's go back to your house.
Troy: And...take my mind off my problems?
Veronica: And get the details on the car. Model. License number. VIN.
Troy: How do you make VIN sound so hot?
Veronica: You'd be surpised what one can find with a few nimble keystrokes.
Wallace: All right then, Velma, why don't you see what you can find on, say, me?
Veronica: It's Daphne, thank you very much.
Veronica: Wait, if I'm Daphne, what does that make you? Fred?
Wallace: Oh, no. If I gotta be any of those white boys, I gotta be Shaggy all the way, baby. Shaggy's got mad flavah.
Veronica: Aww, you still have a subscription to MAD Magazine? You're all about the flavor.
Veronica: So for my dad's birthday, I'm thinking...rock climbing?
Wallace: Because he loves heights?
Keith: Not so much, but keep thinking outside the box, I like it. And don't wait on me for dinner. I'll probably get takeout from the Italian place.
Veronica: Luigi's? Will you get me some lasagna?
Keith: Some lasagna? No, I'm just saying, last time we went to Luigi's, you ate your weight in manicotti.
Veronica: Aaand now your birthday will be spent skydiving. Alone.
Veronica Voiceover: You know those people who can predict when change is coming in their life? I'm not one of them. Change has a way of just walking up and punching me in the face.
Veronica: Next time, could you shoot for a real teacher? Beause this has no potential benefit to my grade point average.
Veronica Voiceover: The best way to dull the pain of your best friend's murder is to have your mother abandon you as soon as possible. It's like hitting your thumb with a hammer, then when it's throbbing so badly you don't think you'll survive, you cut the damn thing off.
Luke: I wanted to get pumped for varsity baseball. I was pretty much down for whatever.
Veronica: Including shrunken testicles and acne scars. Well, speaking for the women of America, good plan!
Keith: Well, I thought, um...
Rebecca: And, and I agree.
Keith: ...that if you had the chance to talk...things would seem a little less awkward.
Veronica: And are you starting to see the catch-22 inherent in the plan?
Veronica: I talked to my buddy Earl yesterday at the impound yard.
Troy: What do I love more? That you actually have a buddy named Earl or that he works at the impound yard?
Veronica: I'm guessing both.
Veronica: Time for a chat?
Logan: Well. You'd think if Hell froze over, maybe it'd be on the news.
Logan: Wow, you suck at this Nancy Drew stuff. You should get a new hobby.
Lianne: So...when are we gonna cook for your boy?
Veronica: We're Mars women. Shouldn't we play to our strengths?
Weevil: Maybe I'll buy you a piñata.
Veronica: Will you buy me a piñata full of steroids?
Luke: Am I in trouble? What? God!
Veronica: We need to talk.
Luke: All right, well does it have to be next to the feminine hygiene machine?
Veronica: One more hour and this might actually constitute a walk of shame.
Ms. Dent: Remember, start with light, easy questions first. Let your subject get comfortable.
Ashley: So, Ms. Mars, how do you respond to rumors that your boyfriend hooked up with strippers in Tijuana last weekend?
Veronica: Ms. Banks. Have you decided which parent you're going to live with after the divorce? And if I may, a followup: can you believe your father's choice in mistresses?
Ms. Dent: You look ready for a fight.
Veronica: I get that a lot. I guess it's just my usual expression.
Keith: I can't do this to Veronica. She's not ready to see me dating yet, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, but she's having a really hard time.
Rebecca: Can you do me a favor?
Keith: Of course.
Rebecca: Can you just tell me it's another reason, like...like a crappy one? Your being a good father isn't really something I can bitch about to my girlfriends over margaritas.
Troy: Hey, sexy. Gimme a kiss, make all my troubles disappear?
Veronica: All your troubles? That would take a lot of kissing. I'm just glad we weren't dating when you were kicked out of those two schools for drug possession and trafficking. My lips would've fallen off!
Veronica's Letter: In case you're wondering, the former contents of the package are somewhere between my toilet and the Pacific Ocean. Say hi to Shauna for me! She sounds like a keeper.