Richard "Big Dick" Casablancas

"Shred it. Shred it. Shred everything."

The [bleep]ing head of the Casablancas family, he had to flee the country after his real estate fraud was accidentally exposed due to his trophy wife's shenanigans his vengeful younger son set him up to be exposed for his real estate fraud because he never found a [bleep]ing second in his oh so [bleep]ing busy schedule to actually notice him, or any problems he might have. The [bleep]ing [bleep] Dick, Sr. hasn't really been heard from since, although one might suspect he is either drinking mai tais on some beach, or, er, "working abroad."

Aside from habitually marrying women of dubious character, and letting his kids hang out with ex-convicts who teach them how to blow things up, this [bleep] the elder Dick seems to have one very grave character flaw — he is a [bleep] singularly unobservant parent. Never mind that his newest trophy wife is a seasoned con-woman with a prison sentence, his older son is a sleaze, who tries to drug his unwilling dates and successfully drives his brother to rape unconscious girls. We're sure that'll get him far in college — he is already the born fratboy. Far worse though, the younger son, neglected, harassed and forgotten, is first a victim, and then a perpetrator of sexual violence, and ends up becoming a murderer when others threaten to expose his secret shame. Too bad he couldn't get his [bleep]ing father to help him through a few of his hardships, or at least teach him something like decent morals — a lot of people in Neptune would have been happier for it. Well done there, Dick! Thanks for nothing, you [bleep]ing [bleep].

-grimsqueaker
Bio as of 2.22 "Not Pictured"
All bios: 3.18 3.01 2.22 2.19 2.03 2.02

David Starzyk plays Richard "Big Dick" Casablancas.


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