Kendall Casablancas

A shallow, bitchy cheerleader until she devoted her life to helping the helpless and seducing teenage boys on the side—wait, what? What do you mean, "wrong show"? It all looks right to me, except for—okay. I see. Gotcha.

Ahem.

A shallow, bitchy cheerleader until she was fired from the Laker Girls and consoled herself by seducing teenage boys on the side, Kendall Casablancas is a mystery wrapped in an enigma draped in flimsy red satin. Did she marry Big Dick Casablancas for love, money, or just to see the look on Sadie's face? Does she truly disdain her stepsons, or is there clandestine knitting with Beaver on the side? Does she realize how lucky (or unlucky, if the fangirls get ahold of her) she is to be sleeping with Logan? And most importantly of all, what will she wear to the annual family Halloween bash? Only time, and hopefully Rob, will tell.