Woody Goodman

"Most adults don't have their children doing espionage work for them."

"Most adults keep their hands off of other people's children."

Who controls the baseball team?
Who keeps the Sharks reigning supreme?
He does! He does!

Who lacks votes to incorporate?
Who touches boys like he touched his mate?
He does! He does!

Who stabs Keith in the place lumbar?
Who makes Steve Guttenberg a star?
He does! He does!

Who gives Gia that weird hair?
Who rules Neptune as the "mayor"?
He does! He does!

Woody Goodman was best known in Neptune for being the owner of the Sharks (the younger crowd may know him best as Coach) and Woody's Burgers (where the younger crowd probably ate after each game). This election year, he threw his hat into the race — if you could call it that — for county supervisor. No one opposed his campaign to make Neptune a cleaner, safer town. It's not surprising, given the last county supervisor's term saw at least two murders, the return of a serial killer, and a tragic accident. Once he was in office, he meant to make good on his campaign promise, and he enlisted Keith's help. Incorporating Neptune and appointing Keith Mars chief of police would create a cleaner, safer Neptune. Keith noted, however, that it would also turn Neptune into some sort of 09ercadia. Whether it was that sentiment or the recent scandal involving a drunken hooker campaign staffer that swayed the vote, Neptune chose to stick with the status quo.

Woody was willing to go to bat for Neptune. He enjoys the long ball, but we're not sure what Mrs. Goodman thinks of that. He's no purist. She, however, is: not even water can sully her pristine carpet. The punishment she has in store for her young son upsets him, but like Lynn Echolls, he does nothing to stop it. Instead, he retires to his room, allowing his daughter, Gia, to make friends at her new school, Neptune High.

Woody talked a great deal about creating a safer Neptune, but could he be trusted? He had at least one Fitzpatrick on the payroll. Add that to the easy access he had to explosives and the eerie warning he gave to Gia, and we thought he may have been involved in the bus crash. And the ease with which he falsely incriminates Keith to cover up his own indiscretions suggested a psychologist would classify him as something ending in -path.

But in truth, he'd be better classified as something ending in -phile: a recording of Peter Ferrer and Marcos Oliveres reveals that Woody's interest in Little Leaguers was more than just sports-related. That they were killed in the bus crash makes it even more likely that the Mayor of Neptune was responsible.

And now, Woody has flown the coop, quite literally. We think Neptune will be a cleaner, safer place without him.

-Polter-Cow
Bio as of 2.21 "Happy Go Lucky"
All bios: 2.22 2.21 2.20 2.17 2.07 2.06 2.02 2.01

Steve Guttenberg plays Woody Goodman.


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