Woody Goodman

Who controls the baseball team?
Who keeps the Sharks reigning supreme?
He does! He does!

Who lacks votes to incorporate?
Who follows rules set by his mate?
He does! He does!

Who stabs Keith in the place lumbar?
Who makes Steve Guttenberg a star?
He does! He does!

Who gives Gia that weird hair?
Who rules Neptune as the "mayor"?
He does! He does!

Woody Goodman is best known in Neptune for being the owner of the Sharks (the younger crowd may know him best as Coach) and Woody's Burgers (where the younger crowd probably ate after each game). This election year, he threw his hat into the race — if you could call it that — for county supervisor. No one opposed his campaign to make Neptune a cleaner, safer town. It's not surprising, given the last county supervisor's term saw at least two murders, the return of a serial killer, and a tragic accident. Once he was in office, he meant to make good on his campaign promise, and he enlisted Keith's help. Incorporating Neptune and appointing Keith Mars chief of police would create a cleaner, safer Neptune. Keith noted, however, that it would also turn Neptune into some sort of 09ercadia. Whether it was that sentiment or the recent scandal involving a drunken hooker campaign staffer that swayed the vote, Neptune chose to stick with the status quo.

Woody is willing to go to bat for Neptune. He enjoys the long ball, but we're not sure what Mrs. Goodman thinks of that. He's no purist. She, however, is: not even water can sully her pristine carpet. The punishment she has in store for her young son upsets him, but like Lynn Echolls, he does nothing to stop it. Instead, he retires to his room, allowing his daughter, Gia, to make friends at her new school, Neptune High.

Woody talks a great deal about creating a safer Neptune, but can he be trusted? He's got at least one Fitzpatrick on the payroll. Add that to the easy access he has to explosives and the eerie warning he gave to Gia, and we think he may have been involved in the bus crash. The way he squeezed Logan's bicep makes us think his interest in Little Leaguers may be more than just sports-related. And the ease with which he falsely incriminates Keith to cover up his own indiscretions suggests a psychologist would classify him as something ending in -path.

His name is Goodman, but is he really a good man?

(What? We had to go there eventually.)