"Nobody willing to spoon you?"
"No one volunteered."
"Well, you know what they say in the big house: if you can't find a partner, use a wooden chair."
The very secret diary of Mercer Hayes
07:00 p.m. or thereabouts: I wish the sheriff would stop sniffing at me like that. I think he is trying to intimidate me or something, but this is really giving off fairly different vibes.
08:00 p.m.: Just met my new roommates. They sure look ... nice. Especially the one with the eyepatch... dear god, is he coming over here??
08:02 p.m.: Would screaming like a little girl seriously tarnish my reputation?
08:15 p.m.: Luckily, "Dusty" (that's the tattooed one) has some sense of humor. Most people would have reacted worse to that kick. I'm still glad the deputy agreed to stay in the room for now, though.
09:08 p.m.: The staff here really like stories about the Benetian, and we're becoming fast friends. Was just teaching Texas Hold'Em to Sacks and that nice receptionist lady, when the sheriff came in, barking something about "solitary detention" and "[my] ass never seeing the light of day again" if I don't stop it. I really think he needs to get out more.
12:03 p.m.: I wonder who that Weevil character is. And why he spells "scum" with two m's. And what he has against Logan... Man, that's some expressive anger right here on these walls.
10:00 a.m.: Surprise! Veronica Mars showed up. Apparently, Logan asked her to help me. The man's so rad! Shrewd as she is, she tried to weasel the Tijuana story out of me, but I held my ground. I learned long ago that even the most understanding woman doesn't want to hear the words "your boyfriend" and "Mexican hookers" in close proximity, as slight as the connection might be.
She took my silence in stride, for now, and was quite willing to check out the other stuff, even though she didn't buy that either Chip Diller or the dean want to set me up with the GHB. Oh, well, I gave all the information that I could.
03:14 p.m.: That Dusty is quite the nice fellow if you get to know him. And the stories that he tells! Those Fitzpatricks sure sound like "fun."
06:34 p.m.: Logan finally came around with my additional alibis. Yay! How did I ever forget about those radio shows? Must dial down on the vodka. Freedom has never tasted so good!
06:35 p.m.: Damn that sheriff! He's decided to keep me another day to "teach me a lesson" or some nonsense as such. As if it was my fault that he sucks at 7 card stud...
All bios: 3.11 3.09 3.07 3.06 3.05 3.03
Ryan Devlin plays Mercer Hayes.